There’s never a dull moment with our Tri Deltas in the TV Room. Join Mindy, Lexi and Avery as they talk about everything from hilarious vacation mishaps to cherished family moments they go deep with reflections, friendship and personal growth. Sitting in on their conversation reminds us that there is always time to laugh even when life gets crazy!
In today’s episode, we uncover the reason why Meredith is absent from the TV Room and laugh along with hot topics about vacations, family, passions, running, group fitness and DIY beauty. The conversation shifts gears into the craziness of life in May, with the end of the school year signifying major transitions as seniors graduate. Our hosts reminisce about their own Pansy Celebrations and the meaningful ritual that welcomed them into the Tri Delta alumnae world when they graduated.
The common thread throughout the conversation is that life is a journey of ups, downs and chaos, but through it all, there is always room and time for love, laughter and the unbreakable bonds of friendship.
This transcript was created using automated technologies and may contain errors.
Welcome back to another episode of Tri Deltas in the TV Room. I'm Mindy Tucker and I'm so honored to serve as Tri Delta’s interim chief executive officer right now.
And so happy to be back with my podcast friends Lexi and - Avery, hello, how are we doing today? - Doing well, how are you, Mindy? - Good, good, good. So if you're just catching up with us,
make sure to listen to our previous episode where we talked about everything from collegiate leadership conference to the WNBA to Avery taking a break from social media.
How'd that go, by the way, Avery? - So I just got it back, I think last weekend and it's not going well now.
It was going better earlier. I actually sent a text to my fiance and I said I'm feeling jealous right now looking at people on social media who are friends who I was friends with like seven years ago who are hanging out and I there's no reason for me to be hanging out with them but still I was like this makes me upset and if I didn't have it I wouldn't have known that.
And I wouldn't be feeling that way. So I don't know, I'm still very torn about it. You know, over the weekend, I had a situation where something like that, I like looked back at something and thought, Oh, I wish I didn't know that.
And there's this phrase that came back to me, comparison is the thief of joy. He's a joy. My mom says that to me all the time. And there I was letting comparison steal my joy over the weekend, something on social media. Yeah, so true. Yeah. Well, we're missing Meredith today or our Tri Delta sister Meredith I I feel bad that she's not here to enjoy this with us,
but I also don't feel bad because she is on a Caribbean cruise Not that anyone doesn't deserve a vacation. We all do recharging and Self -care is really important spending time with family and friends and so I'm really glad she's taking this time.
But I'm ready to have her back. And I hate to have to do a podcast without our fourth, even though it's tri -delta, we should feel totally comfortable with three of us here. Do you guys have any vacation plans coming up?
But you do, Avery, yeah? I have too many. My summer's crazy. I'm actually So, spoiler, we're not reporting this in June. Memorial Day weekend is next weekend,
and I am going to Boston to start moving into my new apartment, but that is the beginning. I think I'm out of town five weekends in a row, starting this weekend.
So, literally all over the place. That's a lot. Yeah. What about you? I am not doing any crazy travel, like nothing like exotic, but I will be doing like a little tour of the Midwest in the next couple of weeks.
Got a wedding in Iowa next weekend, and then going back home to Chicago to visit my family for a couple of weeks. And then, of course, all the fun Tri Delta things that we have this summer like convention and house director conference. So that be my travel.
Yeah, I feel like work travel is dominating my life right now. I went to Hilton Head for a conference. I'm going to Orlando for a conference next week. I go back to Orlando for our convention.
I was in DC in April, like I feel like it's just non -stop right now. But I did sneak away over Mother's Day weekend with my best friend here in San Diego and her son and me and my sons,
and we went to her lake house in Lake Havasu in Arizona and had a great time on the boat and just did the lake weekend thing. And both her and I love that. And it was like our way to do Mother's Day with our boys and just have a great time.
- Fun. - Good time. - I did speak that in. So, what's the best vacation you've ever had? - I have a good answer for this,
but it's only because I travel so much. I think I've mentioned before my dad's a pilot. And so we had the privilege of getting to travel like everywhere for free, which was awesome. But with that,
my favorite trip I've ever been on was to Gatlinburg, Tennessee with my family. I think it's actually hilarious, but we, my brother went to college in Nashville.
And before his orientation, we ended up taking a family vacation to Gatlinburg. I remember I was so annoyed. I was like, why of all places are we flying to Nashville,
driving three hours to go to this random city? And it was so fun. We did so much mini golf. We hiked.
It was stunning. It just was awesome. It was one of my favorite times with family. But by far, like, I think that's what made it great is that we had so much fun.
I think maybe because we were getting older, family fights were down to very few, which always makes a difference. Like, I've had extravagant vacations, but everybody was mad.
And so that, you know, that automatically dropped to the bottom of my list. But it was fun.
Yeah. What about you, Lex?
I’ve heard good things about Gatlinburg. I've heard that it's a really good vacation spot too. My family wanted to go there, but it's too hard to coordinate. We have a large family. So I think my best vacation, I think it's just because it's the one that's like most recently my best, but it's probably when I went to the Dominican Republic with my family,
partially because as an adult, I was like 26, I didn't have to pay for it. So I will say that was nice. It's just it was a really nice. I just come off my last year teaching and so it was really cool to one be at an all-inclusive resort for the first time and just be on the beach or go to the pool and things like that.
It was just it was nice and same here like my younger sister and I used to be bigger all the time but now they were adults we're older we didn't argue we had a great time it was cool. I love that.
I think you know it's interesting I have all these little trips that I think about great things that happened on each of the trips but I don't know if I could pick one best vacation. I mean-- - Third year,
top three. - Well, I mean, when I was, when I turned 30, the year I turned 30, my grandparents both celebrated their like 50th wedding anniversary.
And then I have an aunt and uncles who are on the same like decade as me. So we all turned like 40, 50, 60, like all at the same time. And my grandmother was too. So it's all these like milestones at one time.
They took us to Jamaica one year. Fun! It was great and we had so much fun and like it was 28 of us at that point in time.
Like I was not married yet and didn't have kids and you know like so it was a little bit smaller. Now we're like 30-something people but that was really fun.
I also remember two years ago, I drove to Texas with my boys from San Diego and drove back and while it sounds insane, the time I had with my oldest in the front seat with me,
like he was in the passenger seat navigating. He wasn't on his phone the whole time. We listened to a book on tape. We are an audio book. We watched the weather. I taught him things about how to drive.
Like it It was the most special time with him. The little one was in the back, hiding under a blanket with his phone the whole time. He wanted nothing to do with his story. But there's something about getting teenage boys in the passenger seat of a car and they talk 'cause they're not looking directly at you.
And so it's like really cherished special time. Like I think back on that trip a lot, I would never, I don't wanna do it again. I don't wanna drive all that way and back again. It was like two days each way, but really special time with him.
So just a couple of things that kind of stand out. And we go to this camp every summer, family camp at Forest Home here in California every other summer. And those are always really special memories of my kids too because it's us and we sort of tune the world out.
I think the best vacation is when you come back and the world looks completely different. Like you walk into your house and you're like, "Wow, the world just seems different to me because I went on that trip.
I think those are the best vacations. - I agree. I really do. And I think that kind of describes one I did in immersion in Italy for just like 11 days when I was in college in same situation.
It was also just really cool because we went after like a music history class and a lot of music history happens in Florence. So I think it was like nice to actually be there like where the first opera was performed but then just to come back to America and see how different things are culturally,
how blessed we are here, but also just how cool things are in Italy. So I agree. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Anything crazy ever happened during a vacation? Yes.
Yes. Really? Yeah. Oh man. Okay. It's the Punta Cana trip that I was just talking about the best vacation. And then it's so funny. So, my little sister and I are not the best swimmers,
but we really wanted to do this like little excursion where they have like a speedboat that will, that has like a little blow up banana thing on the back that's like tied up to the speedboat and you ride around on it or whatever. And I,
I can speak a little bit of Spanish, it's not the best, but I can speak a little bit. So I was trying to explain to the guy, because I'd seen a couple of people go ahead of us that I didn't want to go into the water. So I was like, no caro, agua, something like,
you know, just really trying to make sure that I was explaining that as clearly as I could. I thought they got the message it was just me and my little sister on there and we're riding around for five minutes everything is going well and then he takes a sharp turn and we both flip off of the banana and now we're in the water and I thought it was hysterical but when I look around and I can't see my little sister
and I'm like oh no she's probably panicking it ended up being the funniest situation ever we did not finish the boat right after that we went back to the shore and back on land where We belong, but it was funny in the moment. I tried my hardest to say I don't want to go in there,
but, you know, it's a memory for the books. - One of my greatest fears in life is being thrown off the tube, like behind the bed. Like happened to me at Lake Havasu two weeks ago,
and I'm still not over it, like the angst I have about being thrown off the tube when they make a sharp turn in the boat, so. - And you land so And it in it like this is supposed to be water.
Oh, I also hate that. Um, my craziest travel trip was I went to Hawaii in 20 I don't know.
So Actually shortly after COVID because I remember we were also wearing masks and it was it was like we were to be out in Hawaii but Um, My brother was surfing and my sister and I were on the beach and I'm just sitting there reading my book and my sister's like,
do you hear that screaming. And I'm like, no, she was someone's yelling out there. And she looks and she sees these two, this couple was snorkeling and got like,
pulled out with the current and my brother was latched on to like a little buoy with his surfboard and all then my sister, she's like, we have to go help them.
They watch action. She grabs like a mini boogie board and thinking like, here we go. She grabs the boogie board, I grab a boogie board. We are like running, go into the water, end up like meeting up with this couple and giving them our boogie boards,
going and swimming to my brother, who was just exhausted at that point because he'd been surfing so much and then was like so tired and couldn't swim back in. And so us three got on the surfboard together and we're trying to like swim in and trying to guide the couple in together.
So my heart rate got so high that my Apple Watch asked me to record if I wanted to record a swimming workout. And by the time we all got back, the couple, so obviously it's a scary time.
The couple started crying. My brother was like literally couldn't breathe. My sister and I felt like we had just saved the world, but it was so crazy and so intense.
Everyone was okay though, it was just a little scary in the moment. - Well, it does sound like you saved the world. - Yeah. - Like, don't be brave. - That was my sister. Like, I just followed her. I said, she knows what she's doing. I'm just gonna go in after her. - Oh my gosh. I was thinking y 'all were gonna go out and get swept up in it too, but it sounds like you saved - Same today. - That's the situation. - Yeah.
- Gosh. Well, it's May. And this time of year, for me, brings absolute insanity into my life.
And I've heard people call it May-cember. I've heard all kinds of crazy things. There's a writer that I followed, Jen Hatmaker does this whole, she's written this whole article about just how insane May is and how moms are just,
we're just done. It's like the end of school year, there's this project, there's that project, there's a presentation, there's award ceremony, there's teacher appreciation, there's all these things and that's just like at your child's school. Both my kids' birthdays fall in this time of year, which is like added. It's just a lot. And so I don't know if it's like this for, it's probably like this for everybody because I think students who are in school are also feeling all of the angst about all the endings and there's a lot of transitions going on.
I just got back from my niece's graduation from high school on Friday in Dallas and like it's just it's just a lot and I'm wondering like can we talk a little bit about all these transitions in this crazy time is it just I don't think it's just moms I do think it's everybody how do you guys experience this time of year?
I think this time of year is a little bit different for me um in the sense of like I'm very far from my family and so that is like a different type of stress. I think it's just a lot of FOMO um for me like my little sister went to prom she went to high uh to graduation and I was there and able to be there with my family which is why I'm going home next week to go and celebrate with them um so I think for
me it's just like dealing with the how do I show my family that support and showing them that consistent love and really making sure that the efforts that I put out there especially for my parents on Mother's Day and Father's Day is genuine.
Being so far I it's like very rare for me to spend a Mother's Day or Father's Day with my parents since I have left and went away to college. So I think the feelings are there for me but it's less stress it's just kind of like okay kind of just a little pommel.
Yeah that makes sense. I think I think, I feel like I can't go podcast without saying that I'm getting married, but I met marrying into the military.
And so the summer season is the moving season. So I only expect this time to get crazier and crazier. Like I said,
I'm going to be gone for five weekends and weeks in a row and it just, and then I have a two week break and then I'm gone for another like three weeks in a row. And then it's basically my wedding and then it's basically October.
So it's, yeah, like it is crazy. And I, this goes back to my Instagram feeling. I feel like when I'm so busy and all of this is going on,
I feel guilty for missing, like not for missing out, but for not giving time to other things. And I think that's just, I'm a seven on the enneagram and I'm a woo.
And so I spread like wide and thin, which when stuff like this does start to build up, I'm just like booking my calendar with all of these people who I see once every few months or,
and then I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be out of town. So I need to make sure that I'm making, I'm checking off all these other things. And so I think when life gets busy, I learn how to make it worse and just add everything on top.
But I hope that I'm the link in October is here and I'm back from my honeymoon and I just get to sit for a second. - You know, it's funny.
I think I do the opposite where I'm like, You know what? If Caleb's lunch is not terrific to take to school today, so be it. He's had a great lunch for eight months and if on the ninth month mom can't pull it out really well every day,
then mom doesn't pull it out really well every day. So I find myself just like giving up all the a lot of the perfectionist stuff. Like I love to volunteer at their school. That is not happening right now.
There is no time for that. I just can't be that mom in this moment. So there's a lot of like giving up of all the things that I find myself doing in May and June.
Which is good. Just trying to get to the end. It's good to say no, and I'm bad at saying no. Because when you say, I just want to pre -med,
we're gonna sing an art pastor told us this, but when you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to another. And on the flip side, when you say no to something, you just say yes to something,
maybe that's more restorative for you. But anytime I'm taking stuff on, I'm saying no to those things. And so it's tough. I feel you in a different way, but it's crazy.
Yeah. So the other thing that happens this time of year in Tri Delta is we have pansy celebration. celebration and we welcome all the graduates into alumnae membership and I actually got to go to a pansy celebration this weekend for the UCSD chapter here in San Diego.
So excited to be able to share it and just be part of it. It's such a great, you know, you forget of how beautiful our rituals are and the thought that went into the crafting of those words and how meaningful it is and the through line from your,
you know, new member ceremony to becoming an active member, to becoming an alum, and just the great thinking that our founders did and sort of building these blocks for us to lean on and ground ourselves in.
Do you remember your Pansy Celebration? Do you remember what your experience was and what you felt as you were sort of emerging from college into alumni membership in Tri Delta? Yes,
I had just come off of being president and then immediately left that's my final semester of college to go back home to Chicago to student teach. So I wasn't really on campus that final semester so a lot of the things that the women were doing as far as like the final formal and things like that I wasn't able to attend because I was so far away from campus.
So, but I did make a point to come back for pansy celebration, Of course, and I just distinctly remember kind of going back out of order 'cause I can't tell a story in order. My very, before my very first ritual event,
our new member educator at the time who I considered one of my dearest friends and sisters told me how cool she just hyped up ritual so much. She's like, it's so cool. There's so many things that connect. You're gonna find all these different clues and at the end it just all comes together and it's gonna be beautiful.
So I always had that in the back of my mind every time I went into any ritual event and pansy celebration was no different or I'm sorry circle degree was no different. And so I just remember sitting there and like again making all of those connections and seeing how thoughtful and intentional the the creation of tri -delta was from the very start and just getting excited about what was to come after that I already
knew I was going to be a consultant so I was just looking forward to continuing that tri -delta experience I know the phrase sometimes people say like circling out but like you don't ever leave it. So it's like, I just circled in the next phase kind of.
But yeah, it was just, it was cool to be back on campus, see my sisters again, and to have that experience of connecting all of the ritual interactions I had had up into that moment. So yeah.
Yes, it was, I remember crying, but I think it's because my senior year was 2020 to 2021.
And we were camp Chi, like we were core, I lived in the house my senior years who were quarantined together for like the first week of school. And I think that really bonded my pledge class throughout the rest of the year and we just had so much fun but we had an unofficial house dad who was our mother.
Like, I don't see, I feel bad even calling him a maintenance man because he just did so much more than like fix things. He was so intentional with all of us,
like he was there. 6am to 10pm, like anything anyone needed, he helped with the kitchen stuff. He just did so much and we, because of a lot of our COVID stuff,
we just got to know him super well that year and living in the house, obviously. And he had just dealt a lot with a lot in his own personal life. and love that he saw as we went through these things and as he went through like the things going on in his life and it was so powerful because I think we had all felt this greater bond over the past,
like last year of being in school, but it was cool to have someone from the outside who wasn't gonna try at all to talk about that and say like, I have seen this so much in you guys and have felt that so much and you all and so it was I just remember it was like so emotional everyone was like oh this is so sad but it was really really sweet aw I love that yeah you had a hard I mean that was a hard senior
year it was fun though it was honestly I always say the people who graduated the year before me like their March of their senior year had it way worse than we did.
'Cause we at least got to kind of adjust and figure it out and we still had a little time left. They had the hard cut off, like COVID and then they didn't come back for anything. - Yeah, I can see that,
that would have been hard. And you were really, I do have to always, we've probably talked about this on here before, I don't know if we have, but like, you were sort of the cheerleader of Camp Chi. And that was like the epitome of like making lemonade out of lemons.
You guys got quarantine in the house. And like the next thing you know, you're like throwing formal in the house. Everybody's wearing their old formal dresses and walking. Like you just did such a great job of like staying positive during that whole time.
- Well, thank you. - You in particular were a leader in that. - But it was so fun. It was a bonding year for sure. So exiting I think was more sentimental because we went through a lot of hardship together in that year.
I love that. True friendship. Strengthen through fire. All right, Lexi, what hot topic do you have for us today? I just picked up a new hobby,
think club, I don't know what to call it. It's run it up club in Dallas. I didn't know that there were run clubs, but a few of my friends had been posting about it on Instagram, and it just looked like a lot of fun.
And I am not an athlete by any means. I did not play any sports. I'm severely uncoordinated, but I can run in a straight line sometimes. And so I decided to go out and try this one out.
And it turned out to be a lot of fun. Like I said, I'm not an athlete. I was never, I've never played any sports when I was younger. So this is probably the closest thing I would get to a sport or like a team kind of a thing, definitely ran my fastest amongst my peers.
And like just, I felt encouraged, not faster than everybody else, but like I felt encouraged to work harder because so many people around me. And now I find myself looking forward to Run Club every week. 'Cause I'm just like,
I can't wait to go outside. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but run in Texas heat. So I think I'm just curious, because I know it can sometimes be a little bit polarizing, but how do y 'all feel about workout so we like group exercise maybe not running but like classes and things like that are you more like a solo workout got to do it on your own and stay self -motivated.
I have to have something to keep me accountable like if I'm gonna work out like I have to walk with a friend or right now I just went back to orange theory. I love orange theory.
I was gonna ask you because I knew you were in Texas last week and I was like - I should see if Mindy's going to Orange Theory while she's here, and I'm gonna text you. - I will show you both from our staff.
And so she and I met at like 6 a .m. Friday morning and did Orange Theory. Next time you're in, you have to do it, you're in with us. - Okay. - 'Cause I've done it with her before. She knows that there's an Orange Theory right by the office in Dallas.
So I really don't have any excuse. I also went when I was in Hilton Head. Like I've really and diligent about this. And I like, it holds me accountable. You sign up,
you have to pay if you don't show up, so that drives me 'cause I don't like to waste money. And it's an hour, but it's intense and it makes me do things I would never make myself do,
like ever, I would not make myself work this hard. Tomorrow would be really sore, today's workout was really hard, but I know I would never I've done that on my own. So for me, I like it 'cause I can go and feel like I'm part of something and know I actually worked out.
- Yeah, I have not tried orange theory, but I've heard, great, I know. - Okay, let's see, we can all go because there's one three minutes from the office and I also just started going in,
well, I guess January, so I've gone for a while now, but Meredith Davies, our podcast Meredith, She is the one who talks so much about it and I was like,
oh, it seems scary. I don't know. Um, and then my fiance got it as a gift for me for Christmas because I had said, I wanted to start a cycling class.
And he was like, Oh, I got you orange theory. And I go, do you even know what orange theory is? It's cycling. I was like, it is literally not cycling at all. It is fine.
He tried. Honestly best mistake ever because I love it. I love it so much. It's so fun. I think speaking of running, I hate running.
Well, I don't hate it, but I don't love it, but it has built my cardio so much. And I'm like, I can keep going and I feel fine. Wait, Lexie,
how far are you running in the Run Club? So we can go anywhere from one to six miles, but it's also open to walkers too. I've been sticking with about three miles. I've only gone twice, so we'll see. I can't go the next couple of weeks because I'll be gone,
but you are also encouraged to do at least 10 miles a week, just like using the Run Club, but also doing some running on your own. So when I run by myself, I'm not as fast. I don't know. I don't have that encouragement or something.
I don't know, but it's really cool to be in that group and to be motivated. And like I said, I have friends, so like we'll meet up and go out there and like encourage each other. I think that encouragement really speaks a lot. And for me, like I also am not a fan of long distance running,
but I do like to prove something to myself. I do want to challenge myself and I am impressed when I can do something and my body is stronger, I can last longer than I was able to before. And I think a lot of that comes from what our coaches and our instructors do.
I also do Pilates and that's another class where very hard but really motivating when you have your peers near you and just something to look forward to. So I don't know, it's a cool topic. I was curious. Yeah,
I love it. I am loving the exercising right now. I've been more into exercising now than I have been in my whole life and it does make you feel so good. You know, honey, as I lost all this weight,
I started healthy eating and really purging things that I knew weren't good for my body. It's different for everybody. And I lost a bunch of weight and I still didn't feel strong. Like I felt thinner,
but not strong. And so it really motivated me to go back to orange theory and say like, I want my arms, I want to be strong now. And my more healthy body,
I want to be stronger. So I'm loving it. - Yeah. I also think just another side a benefit is like every day life things get easier like carrying the groceries I live in an apartment on the third floor and we don't have an elevator so I'm like yeah I can carry all of these groceries by myself now with confidence so yeah it's the little things and then I'm curious um are you all like DIY cosmetic girlies or we do
you use professionals I have like on tiktok and I'm seeing a lot of discourse about the rising cost of cosmetic care. And I typically DIY a lot, but I'm just curious if it is actually rising.
And if so, what are we doing to work with that? 'Cause obviously we gotta keep it together. - What do you mean cosmetic care? - Like hair, nails, I know lashes were really what they were talking about,
I like lash extensions and things like that. And just like the cost consistently rising. I've heard some ridiculous prices that people pay to get their hair died or cut and trimmed. And so, and a lot of people are resorting to doing it on their own.
So I'm just curious if you all see that from your perspective. - I, my two gifts to myself are getting my nails done and getting my hair done. I say that I give myself a way more of a fix than that.
But I just like those are the two things that I absolutely will budget for every month. I did go to one of my hair girls loved her for probably 10 years and just stopped because now I'm like,
I'm a real adult and I have to pay for all these things without an allowance. And I ended up going to someone who's a little less expensive and still does a great job. But if I DIYed my hair for my nails,
I would, it would be a mess. I'd be embarrassed, I would not go out. You guys would not see me. Oh, I love that. I'm kind of wedded to those same two things too. And really,
I feel like the nails are like a professional thing. Like I have to show up professionally in my life. And so I feel like the nails are a part of that. That's probably something I've put on myself and isn't real, but I still believe it.
It's a nice presentable little detail. Right. I just think you have to anyway. And what I find frustrating right now is I feel like part of this is being on social media.
You get targeted with all these ads, but I have all these things I need to solve for. So I'm over 50. So I get like hair on my chin that nobody wants and isn't planned, but it shows up.
And all the things that like, oh, this will do it. And this will do it. No, this will do it. Every time you try something, it's like $100 out the door, like just to try like the tanning cream or the new this or the new that.
And I feel like I'm getting like just hit and hit and hit with all these things that I feel like I think I need. I'm not even sure I do, but I, but based on the ad, I feel like I need them.
So they're advertising is working. Um, I'm just a sucker, I guess is what it is. Uh, but I just feel like I'm like, Oh, I should try that. And, but it's like a hundred dollars every time. And I just wish there was a way to like try something like I just want a little maybe I want a sampler of that to try but you can't because there are these like online companies and you can't buy them at Ulta and you can't
you know it's just really there's a new racket out there of all these things they're trying to sell you and I can't get sucked in by them but I do feel like that definitely happens a lot on social media too so your point so maybe Avery it's a good thing to just stay away because every other day there's a new problem that you probably didn't know you had and here's how we're going to solve it and it's about I
don't know but I just make up for your legs now so you can cover up like veins and stuff but I'm like who has time to put makeup like I barely have time to put makeup on my face every day makeup all over their legs to go somewhere and I'm like it's on your clothes and yeah they say it doesn't she's like 10 minutes and Look,
it doesn't come off. - Of course, it's another thing. - I don't believe that. - But who had the time to make up their legs every day? Really, not happening. - No.
- Not happening. - No, for me. - Yeah. - I gotta figure it out. - Those are good questions. - Yeah, I wish I could DIY most of my stuff.
That'd be amazing, 'cause I love to DIY stuff. I'm about to start DIYing my wedding stuff and that actually that's I'm recruiting people to DIY my wedding stuff but I've decided it's too that is an expensive industry where you need to take on some of the you learn that you have new skills and talents that you did not think that you planning a wedding.
100 percent. That's easy. Wow. - Avery, you got hot topics? - Mine are not as hot as Lexi's. Mine, I was in the spirit of talking about pansy stuff and the busyness of the season.
I think I've been thinking about how like transitions and friendship and this is, see this is where I go to my deep thoughts and it's like,
girl, calm down, save it for therapy or something, but no, I'll save it for the podcast. But I think, Mindy, I feel like I wanted to ask you this.
I feel like this is where we get to go cross generation a little and say like, how have you maintained friendships from college or young adult life or any of those things and balanced as you've taken on a lot of new roles,
having kids, all of that. You know it's funny, I think we all do this differently and I have some friends who like still keep in touch with everyone. They know everything going on with everyone and I'm not one of those people.
I've like picked my crew, this is who I'm staying in touch with. I also feel like I have so many phases in life to keep up with. I have college, I have high school,
I have college, I have Friends from DC after I moved there, I have friends that I worked on the campaign with, I have friends from moving to San Diego and friends from when I was in Sacramento for a while,
like all these like groups. And I pick like a couple of people from each of those that I've stayed really close to and then every once in a while I get to see other people because they know those other people and they're better at keeping up with everybody than I am.
So I sort of latch onto, I draft off of their friendship keeping because I just don't have the bandwidth to do that much but I do love Facebook because you do see everybody whether you're keeping in touch with them or not and I know I'm an old person so that's why I'm on Facebook.
All the young people are somewhere else but I do feel like I see their kids and I know what's going on with them because I'm still kind of following them there whether I talk to them at all or not. Yeah,
I read something that said people only have the capacity to like really keep up with I think 150 or 100. Wait, did you tell us that, Mindy? 180?
I don't know where when I saw this but I know it's fewer than 200 people and you think about how many people I follow on Instagram or whatever or meet throughout those times in your life and that number only grows,
but we can only manage time constraints and mental constraints, all that. Like you can only manage so many people, but I think as I have these big transitions in my life coming up,
like adding adding more friends, but how do you make sure that you're celebrating and keeping up with the people who have impacted you in certain times of your life? So it's more deep,
It's deep thinking than a hot topic. - I think it's also, I don't know, Lexi, you have ideas, but I think it's good to like find times to check in with people. Like there's some, I always check in with one of my Tri Delta friends who I don't keep in touch with that much,
but we were part of a trio, of course, Tri Deltas. But the three of us were sort of best friends in Tri Delta. And one of them passed away when we were 29 years old,
she had skin cancer. And so every year around her birthday or around the anniversary of her passing, I check in with Megan and we, you know, can you believe it's been this long, you know, so I think there's always little times to where a text or a call is totally worth it.
And you can catch up and pick up where things left off really easily without having to like keep the conversation going all the milestones.
Yeah, I think my, this isn't even my college friends, but my best friends from middle school through high school, they've been my longest best friend group. And I know when we had first started to transition into adulthood,
we would do like bi -weekly FaceTimes or like, I think it was like monthly or something like that. And we would just all check in and kind of like, it was normally like a little rant session, we'd just kind of like say all of our updates, maybe complain about the things that we needed to complain about,
but those were the ways that we were more intentional about our touch points. Now say we haven't been as diligent with it now just because we've been busy. One of my friends just had, she has two babies now.
So there's just a lot. We're in different places in our life. And so I like this question though, even though you say it's not a hot topic, I think it's something that is important, especially as you're going through those transitions in life because it can feel really isolating.
And I know I struggled with that when I left home from Chicago to go live in southern Illinois and teach and I didn't need a chance to really establish a community before the pandemic happened. So I was really by myself.
And the biggest thing that I can say is just to give people grace, one and have patience and just understanding that like we all have our own lives and everything is just as important to each individual that they have to focus on.
And so just knowing that like, I think those genuine friendships, they're going to be there, we're going to be able to understand like, hey, I may not have heard from you for the last couple of weeks, maybe not the last couple of months, but I do know that you're a genuine friend that I can still reach out to and rely on.
I think that's kind of where a lot of my friendships are. We are intentional about making sure that we reach out for those big milestones or those big happy birthdays and all of those things, but just understanding that life happens and we can't always prioritize each other every moment,
but that's okay. No, - That's a perfect answer, but I'm still figuring it out. - Thanks for your wisdom. - Thanks. - Great advice. Season of transitions.
All right, any parting thoughts today before we leave our listeners, go to a Pansy Celebration if you have the chance,
first of all. - Yeah, you might cry. Find a way to experience ritual again, even if you're an alum. Find a way to go experience it. It's always a great reminder.
Something that's near and dear to us. Go find a running club. Mindy, I also like what you shared, Avery, when you say yes to something,
you're saying notice something else. You can't just say yes to everything. You can't pour from an empty bucket? I think that we were only given so many hours in a day for a reason.
And we live in a world that has so much accessibility now that that gives us so much more FOMO, but we were only given 24 hours today for a reason. That's helping me with all my busyness.
We're here for you. Thank you. We're here for you. All right. Well, thank you all for joining us. I love these people that I get to talk to all the time and work with at Tri Delta and we love our listeners.
So we're so glad that you checked in with us today and you're listening. We hope that you are planning to join us for convention. We are in the countdown now. July 11th in Orlando.
Turn it into a vacation. Come hang out with your sisters. Catch up with friends you haven't seen in a while, going back to our topic here today. We'd love to have you. You can check it out at TriDelta.org/events.
Figure out how to register and come join us. Please like, subscribe, and rate our podcast. We have three stars in our crescent, but we love those five -star ratings, so bring it on. Thanks for joining us today,
and until next time, Delta Love.