Tri Delta CEO Mindy Tucker, Southern Methodist, introduces today’s podcast episode—a front-row seat to a once-in-a-lifetime conversation recorded live at Tri Delta’s 2025 Volunteer Leadership Conference. This special panel brings together eight of Tri Delta’s past Fraternity Presidents as they reflect on leadership, resilience and the lifelong impact of our sisterhood.
This Past Presidents Panel highlights the service and leadership of Tri Delta’s former Fraternity Presidents—their lessons learned, wisdom gained and reflections on guiding our Fraternity through times of challenge and change, all while staying rooted in our values of truth, self-sacrifice and friendship. You’ll hear inspiring advice, moments of humor and powerful reminders of what it means to step up and lead.
Whether you’re seeking inspiration for your own leadership journey, wisdom from women who have walked before us or a reminder of the enduring power of sisterhood, this episode will leave you encouraged and proud to be part of Tri Delta.
[Past President Panel Episode]
This transcript was created using automated technologies and may contain errors.
Hello, and welcome back to the Let's Talk Tridelta podcast. I am Mindy Tucker, and
I serve as Tridelta's Chief Executive Officer. In this role, I have the privilege of
working closely with our boards and leadership to guide this organization, and
Sometimes I get a front row seat to some pretty special moments. This summer at our
Volunteer Leadership Conference, we have a special panel with eight past presidents of
Tridelta where they shared wisdom and stories and really demonstrated the lifelong
impact of Tridelta. These remarkable women, all sitting on stage together, was quite
a moment, I think, for all of us. They have each selflessly volunteered for our
sisterhood and really gracefully managed us through some major challenges while still
moving Tridelta forward. I'm thrilled to share that we have turned this inspiring
panel session into a podcast episode so that more of our Tridelta sisters can
benefit from their wisdom, knowledge, and perspective. We're really all better for
hearing from them, from their insights, and then reminding us that Tridelta has been
and continues to be in excellent hands. We also had a leadership transition recently
since this recording was made and I want to extend a warm welcome to Libby Lefler
-Hogan from our California Berkeley chapter. She is our new fraternity president and
will be serving in that role through the remainder of the Biannium and our now
immediate past president Elizabeth Howard D. Martinov, our Boston chapter, has joined
the executive office team as our chief engagement officer. So excited to have her
leadership and experience on the staff and so excited to welcome Libby into this new
role and have her step into guiding our fraternity. Now, sit back and enjoy the
past president's panel. Please welcome fraternity president Elizabeth Howard DeMartino,
Boston, to moderate today's past president panel. Welcome to the stage,
past presidents, Megan Shaw -James, Milseps, Kimberly DeFady Sullivan,
Pepperdine, Phyllis Derbing -Grissom, Southern Methodist, Jackie Brown -Clarke,
Texas Arlington, Michelle Pop Shimburg, Florida, Sarah Coons -Lindsay,
Miami, Ohio, and Eve Woods -Reilly, Southern Methodist.
- Well, good afternoon, Trydeltas. We have a treat in store for you today.
I can just say with all honesty that I have been looking forward to this panel for
the last year when we started talking about it. It is hard to put into words what
it feels like to sit up here with all of you. It's truly a treat and it's
humbling, and I think we're in for a real fun conversation this afternoon. As you
know, each of these women has led our organization with strength, with grace, with
wisdom, and I feel so fortunate to be able to follow in your footsteps and the
path that you all have set by your example and by your wise counsel. And I know
that I can speak for everyone in this room when I say we treasure the lifelong
legacy of the example of lifelong service and the legacy that you've shared with us.
And truly, your service doesn't end when your term ends. And you continue to support
and guide us year after year. It does not. And generation after generation. So I
want to start the conversation by saying something that has been top of mind for me
lately. And that is, this role comes with some surprises. And no matter how prepared
we feel as leaders, there's always something that comes up that surprises us and
stretches us as new and interesting things happen when we work with members of our
organizations, with our collegiate women, with other volunteers, with other individuals.
And so I would love to start by hearing from all of you. So if you would, I know
most of us know who you are, but share your name, what years you served as
Tridelta's president, and then something that has surprised you about the role.
>> Well, great. I guess I will go first as our recent past president, Megan Shaw
James. I served from 2020 to 2024. And I would say -- I'm going to take a little
bit twist on this question. So I'm about a year out, so I'm not going to talk
about what surprised me about the role. I think I want to talk about professionally
what this role did for me. And so one of the things I have loved about my
volunteer experience in Tridelta for about 20 years, your volunteer role prepares you
for life, prepares you for your career to give back into your communities. And truly
serving as fraternity president, catapulted me into a C -suite level. It really gave
me the skills, you're talking about business acumen, you're talking about legal
issues, you're talking about crisis communication. But you're talking about how do you
stay calm, how do you, you know that there's gonna be change in life, there's gonna
be stress. So a year into serving as fraternity president, I had the opportunity to
become vice president for student life. And I really was the confidence leading this
organization that allowed me to say yes and to do that, and I kind of joke, we'll
be in a crisis situation, and I'm probably the calmest person in the room, and
they're like, how do you do this? I'm like, it's all Tridelta. - And it truly is
Tridelta, and so that was just such a gift, not just the skills, but the
confidence, I think, of serving as returning president. - Absolutely, thanks. And
Kimberly, something surprised you, or maybe a favorite moment you wanna share? - Oh,
I'll do a favorite moment. I will lead This is it's a bad moment that led into a
good one so that you're aware So my name is Kimberly DeFady Sullivan. I served from
2016 to 2020 good just checking
And I think was something that surprised our a happy moment was In the moment the
last thing that a fraternity president or a board wants to do is to go and close
a chapter. This is something that is extremely difficult. We talk about it. We
discuss it. We know it hurts the members that put their lives into it.
We know that the alumni are so enriched in it. And we also know that there's --
whereas our decision is preventing others becoming tri -Delta's, which really hurts.
And so when I was for training President, unfortunately I did have those
opportunities and I felt that it was very important that Tridelta showed up in those
moments. And years later, I received a letter or an email from somebody who had --
I had to close their chapter and she had to write a paper about somebody that she
admired who had to make a difficult decision in how they delivered it And she said
that during the pain, she felt the love of Tridelta, by the way, that I had
delivered it. So my message would be that it's easy to celebrate the great and
happy moments, but in those very difficult times, it's very-- that's a time to
shine. Powerful example. Thanks, Kimberly. That's great. I love that.
I feel very much the same way. So I'm Phyllis Grissom. I pledged Tridelta at
Southern Methodist University. And I served from 2012 to 2016.
I always want to say 2014, 2012 to 2016. And I'm going to share a kind of a
collection of favorite moments. When you are a volunteer or when you know fraternity
president a lot of times try Delta is a sea of faces and a sea of women and you
meet a lot of people and you make these very brief connections as we have heard
this weekend those connections are very important but I was always left wanting more
oh if I could just have another five minutes with you and we you know we can make
a deeper connection but my favorite moments were when I at a city or a town and
someone would pick me up from the airport or let me stay in their home and some
of those people are here in this room today. One of my most treasured memories is
staying at my field consultant friends home in Lafayette, Louisiana, Dana Becker's.
She hosted me for a weekend when I went to get the Sarah Addishaw Award and we
just had just such a special weekend. Teresa McKinney is here And she picked me up
at the airport when I was at the Missouri Centennial and I got to have dinner with
her and her sister. And of course I had, asked me later,
but like the evening of a lifetime at Eve Riley's house.
That's on the after dark panel. Oh no, it was so spectacular y 'all.
Joe, her husband, kept the fire burning in this beautiful living room that we sat
in. He kept the wine glasses full. We looked at our watches and I had been there
for Founder's Day. We got back to the house probably about nine o 'clock. We stayed
up to like three in the morning talking and that's not even an exaggeration. I mean
and then Joe and Eve fixed breakfast for me the next morning. So seeing my sisters
in their home environments and having them pick me up from the airport learning
about them as individuals and just deepening those connections and friendships was one
of the many many many gifts serving in this role. I'm Jackie Brown Clark and I
served from 2008 to 2012 and I would agree with Phyllis that it was so much fun
to go and visit the different chapters and alumni and collegiate chapters to be able
to speak at different events, but the thing that came to my mind was programming
that we did, and when I first became president, we launched the Reflections body
image program, which has evolved into body image 3D that we still do today,
but it was so fun to see them and grasp hold of that program and participate.
There were about 40 chapters, I think, that first year, and it wasn't just for our
collegiate chapters. We opened it up to different campuses and other organizations.
And then the highlight was when we had Fat Talk Free Week, and I'm sure there are
some of you in here that remember Friends don't let friends fat talk.
And it was just great fun that week to see the women posting things.
Social media was just beginning, and they were posting things on social media.
YouTube video was out, and there were about 30 ,000 women that pledged no fat talk
during that very first week that we had Fat Talk free week, and so it was just
exciting to see their enthusiasm, not only the collegians, but also the alumni.
>> That's great. >> That's great. >> Hi, I'm Michelle Schimberg, and I served
Tridelta from 2004 to 2008 as fraternity president, and in thinking about some of
the special or my favorite memories, You know, the things that convention and the
candle lighting ceremony and seeing the faces of women of all ages together, that's
always a highlight. I remember going to St. Jude when we completed our first $1
million gift, and that was huge. But what is my favorite memory of that time are
some of the people that I had the chance to work with. And the relationships that
you develop with volunteers, with collegiate members that you may work with, some
very special memories with staff members, and a lot of those relationships were
formed when we were dealing with the difficult things and the problems. But the
support of this group and the volunteers and all the staff and folks around are
really what sticks with me as my favorite part of being fraternity president.
Hi everyone, I'm Sarah Lindsay and I served as Triton's president from 2000 to 2004.
And I'm just going to add a little bit to what Michelle just said about our
decision making on our partnership with St. Jude. The partnership decision was made
at the board prior, which I sat on and was also on that board. But during my term
as president, we made our first commitment of one million dollars and went to st.
Jude to announce this commitment But before we went We sat around the board table
like this is Unbelievable one million dollars in five years. How are we even gonna
do that? We got a really, you know We knew our members could do it, but we had
it had been a very a journey journey to that point in Tridelta. Let me just say
that the partnership, you know, was a change for us in Tridelta.
And so it was quite a big step to be able to even announce the one million, which
of course we then met in, I think it was three years. And then to look now at
where that partnership has become and knowing that this past year we raised six
million in one year. So that is one of my very favorite memories and something that
I'm just so proud of that Tri -Delta has accomplished. >> Thank you. I'm Eve Riley
and I serve before many of you were born.
Or even an I, I mean in my spartans of my time. I served from 1992 to 1996 it
was and I can still walk
They've been worried about me getting on this tear I can do it
There's so many favorite moments, but a lot of my term was a it was a difficult
time there was a lot of
universities didn't want us around. They wanted us gone. I met a lot of university
people. And Gwen Nguyen, who was president between Sarah and me,
and I went. And she was from Alabama. I was from Texas. So you can imagine how
thrilled they were up in the northeast for seeing them. They acted like we knew
nothing. But we did. We didn't know what was going on. Anyway, but my favorite
moments probably were new chapters. Establishing new chapters. There was just nothing
like that. It's such a thrill to see the smiles on those new members' faces and
the university is happy to have you. And so those are probably my favorites.
I love the times when I get to have people in Waco, so if any of y 'all come,
let me know, and I'll fix lunch for you, I'll do whatever. I think the hardest
thing for me, a biggest surprise, was that not everybody was as gun -ho as I was
in the final time,
and I was telling a friend at lunch that I almost turned in my badge when I was
a sophomore. I was so disillusioned. We didn't have a very strong sisterhood in my
chapter, and so my lifelong experience turned out so much more wonderful than my
chapter experience. So if any of you are having trouble or you know somebody, tell
them to hang in there. It gets better and better. Thanks for sharing that.
And what a powerful way for us to end our introduction section with just kind of
tying it back to what we've been hearing about our member experience and the impact
you can have. And you just never know that sophomore who might be a little bit
disillusioned, or that junior who thinks I can walk away from this, could be sitting
up on this stage if we can nurture, if we can make that connection, if we can
belong. I think among this group, there have been plenty of opportunities to
experience change and use our change management skills. So I'm gonna start the next
question, thinking about leading through change and how important that is, not just
from this lens, but in the work that we do each and every day. We're all dealing
with change at an incredible rate on our campuses, among our women's lives and our
own personal lives. So this is for Michelle and Megan and Kimberly. Each of you led
try Delta through some pretty specific moments of change, significant change where
perhaps the path forward wasn't clear or who could have imagined the kind of change
that we would walk through, the decisions that you were tasked with really helped
shape our organization. So Megan, you stepped in to leadership during the pandemic
and really a moment of unprecedented change in our world and so can you tell us
what it was like to step in and make decisions when there was a lot of
uncertainty, a lot of change happening and how do you keep the ship stable during a
moment like that? Yeah, so a little fun fact, I got the call from the LCSC on
March 7, 2020 asking me to be fraternity president. I had just,
we had finished an executive board meeting, I was going to DFW, and I'll never
forget, I'd met Lenora Aiders on the way there, and there were no masks, and we
were starting to hear about this, and within 48 hours, it was starting to shut
down, and all of that. I never wavered in my decision to say yes, because Tridelta
has been the constant in my life forever, and I knew Tridelta would not waver
through any storms, and so I'd say a few, when you know - Three, three lessons,
always three in tri -Delta. One, I would say having a fraternity president like
Kimberly, who became for us, she was a fraternity president when all this was
happening. But once we knew, I was gonna say yes. We really made decisions together
because she had expertise, she had the knowledge, but she knew what decisions we
made. The next executive board would have the ones to carry that out. And I think
that's just a lesson for all of us you have got to communicate with your team
members you have to trust each other and so we always did that we are moving at a
fast pace but sometimes you do have to pause and make sure you are talking to each
other and making sure that you're on that same path I'd say too I learned about a
great change management and leadership decision principle a lot of people think for
turning presidents you know it I'm going to let you in. You do not know it all.
And also I think sometimes as Tridelta's, we want to be perfect. We want to make
the right decision all the time. And that just is not possible. So there's a
principle out there, the 40 to 70 % principle, if you've heard about it. So it's
you want to make sure you have about 40 to 70 % of the data that you need to
make a decision or the confidence. So when you reach that 70 % confidence in a
decision, you then have to rely on your intuition and what you know is right. If
you're waiting to 100%, you're going to miss opportunities. You're going to put
energy that you are precious to you. So I think being able to know once we had
that 70 % that we had moved forward and just knowing every decision is not a final
decision for the next 100 years. Being able to ideate and to go back was so
important. But my third thing that was the greatest gift was our podcast had just
launched. We were doing the walking challenge during COVID so we could all safely be
moving our bodies. It was good for us physically, mentally. And that was really a
saving grace for me. I mean, so I was at home, I had a kindergartner, I was
trying to teach how to read a second grader, I was working at our state's only
Academic Medical Center during all of this. And that was my saving grace is during
the day I put on my kindness tri -delta hat. I put my ear pods in and then I
feel like a sister was right next to me talking. And the incredible Ginger Hicks
had recorded a podcast about the history of tri -delta throughout time and how tri
-delta has weathered the storm, different wars, different talking about universities.
And that gave me the confidence to know, I didn't know exactly what was going to
be, but that Tridelta would persist. And the reason why is because of our North
Star, our purpose, and our values. And so again, when you get to that 70 %
confidence, this is right, and you have to say, what is that intuition? If you look
to our purpose and you look to our values, it will guide you. And truly, I learned
from all these leaders who are on the stage, It's learning your history, but never
looking back. It's looking forward. It's always what is going to be next. And I
think that's one of the most beautiful things is, as a fraternity president, out
being on the executive board, you're not going to see the fruits of your labor
during that time, but it's knowing what's going to come for generations to come. So
that's how we kind of got through that time. Thank you. And I love the reminder of
importance of collaboration, that you were walking through this time of change. You
didn't mess it up. I'm so I'm so proud of you. Look, Sarah Ida Shaw said, to pass
the torch undimmed, I needed to make sure that torch was getting passed on. But you
also talk about self -care, super important, I think, during that. Elizabeth, if you
don't mind, I would just want to share real quick, my favorite memory was then
convention in San Diego, and convention in Florida. So for the first year and a
half, I never met my board. I had not seen Tridelta's. We had not given each other
a hug. And so it made me realize the gift of physical presence. And so I think
convention, but CLC, you were mentioning getting to see the collegians. But I have
to say, VLC has always been one of my favorite memories, because it is like a
homecoming. You get to see people you volunteered with for 20 plus years, catch up.
But you make a friend, and you make a connection at every single VLC and so when
you're in a volunteer and I've heard this today of I've been emailing at this
person or been talking to them Yeah, so nice to meet in person and some of the
best friends. I've made it VLC have been Sharing a shuttle ride being in a car
together I mean I think in my first two days I've made you know three new friends
right here And so as a volunteer it doesn't matter if you're six months into this
or your 50 years Yeah, it's special time to be together in person those connection
>> Well, Kimberly, you really issued in a new era for the fraternity and thinking
about expanding how we think about leadership. So your board really embraced critical
conversations during a time of a lot of unrest within the country and we're really
spearheading our efforts to include women of color on our boards. So I'd love to
hear from you about navigating those critical conversations and continuing to lead in
this moment of change. change. Yes so as Megan said I was hoping to deliver the
fraternity in a silver -golden -blue perfect box for you but in March of 2020 as you
know COVID hit and then we had George Floyd's death and then we had Black Lives
Matter and then we also had abolished Greek life all leading up to Megan's
presidency. And at that time, the slate had already been delivered and the fraternity
knew who their leaders were going to be. But it was really important at that moment
to realize that our members' voices weren't all on the table, or at the table, and
they were all there to be able to contribute and lean in and be able to say the
things that needed to be. And so I thought a lot about that. I went to the board,
not just the executive board, but I went to the title to housing and for a
foundation board chairs, and I was like, people are missing in our leadership. And
so then I made the call to Linda McClendon, which I know she's here, but I cannot,
I don't know where you are, but there you are. And I still remember where I was
standing. Linda was the chair of the LCSC at the time who had delivered a slate,
but I told her, I was like, it's time for a title to rise to the occasion. We
could wait two years, but two years seemed way too long at the moment. So I
appreciated the LCSC's time at that moment to be able to produce a slate within two
weeks 'cause we had a virtual convention to do.
But I wanna say I will always be grateful for those women that said yes in that
moment. It wasn't that Tridelta was taking a chance on them. - Oh my gosh,
why am I getting emotional? - I was getting emotional with that. It was that they
were taking a chance on Tridelta, and I was so proud to see that our members'
voices were there, and that they continue to who will shape us today. - Great,
thanks, Kimberly.
(audience applauding) And Michelle, you helped guide us through some shifts in how we
govern. So speaking of our boards and the work that our boards do, you really
spearheaded for us a new era in terms of the way that we think about our
operations and our governance. And so talk to us about that, because this is a big
organization with many, many decades of operating in a certain way. And so talk to
us about what that's like to govern through that kind of a shift. So as I think
back about the way we used to govern Tridelta with one fraternity board of five
members and a nominating committee that got elected when they showed up at
convention, like that's how we did it and they picked our leadership, Tridelta has
been so lucky with the kind of devoted leaders, skilled leaders who had gotten us
to the point that we were a leading premier organization. But we knew how the world
was changing and that women were going to be working and women were going to have
less time and not as many women would be able to come to convention or volunteer
for 25 years before they were elected to service. And so at the Fraternity Council
level, the board level, we were talking a lot about how do we prepare for what the
world is going to look like and make sure that we can continue to have and
continue to strengthen our leadership at the board level. And so it seems to me,
and some of my friends up here were all part of those discussions as I looked down
the line, we We talked about it for a long time. We talked about what do we want
this to look like, what do we think it needs to look like? We talked to our NPC
sisters to see what they were doing. We looked at other organizations, professional
organizations, and gathered a lot of information, worked with consultants. And so we,
it felt like, had been talking about that for a very long time before we put
together a model of what we thought could work. And then the key of leadership is
getting your members to agree and come along with you. And so I want to go back
to my biggest surprise, was how strongly our members feel when they agree and when
they don't. And so that is It's a part of what I remember. So we spent a lot of
time workshopping, talking to our members, listening, doing town halls.
And while maybe those of us at the leadership level were ready to make a change
sooner than what we did, we made the decision,
in some cases, to put off that major change until we felt like we had the
membership support. And so I think my lesson in this is that being strategic means
making decisions today, I learned this yesterday in Fraternity Council, making
decisions today to prepare you for what's coming. And even though the leadership
might have been ready, we had to wait and make sure that it was the right time to
get the membership to come along with us and so that communication, two -way
communication was essential in making that change and moving forward. And the best
part about being past president is being able to see how some of those decisions
have played out. So seeing the National Housing Board doing the work they're doing
and seeing the foundation doing the work it's doing and the executive board doing
the work it's doing. That is the joy of being in this seat, right? It's 'cause you
get to see what has come from that. - Yeah, you dream about that. - For years.
- For years. - Right. - And then to see it actually happens. - And to see it. That's
exactly right. - Yeah, and I think that's such a lesson for our chapter volunteers.
Wherever you're sitting, whatever role you're in, you invest and you may not see the
fruit of that. - Right. So you don't have to be sitting on this stage for that
lesson to be true. Oftentimes, you're going to get that letter from a member who
says, hey, you helped me through a really hard moment. And you don't know it at
the time, so I love that. Great. Well, we're going to switch gears a little bit.
Tridelta has always strived to lead through our values with our sisterhood and really
to lead across the fraternity and sorority community and in the broader public eye.
So I'd love to take this next section down to Sarah and Eve, and talk a little
bit more about that. So Sarah, you've continued to serve as an advocate even beyond
your presidency, especially through your work in DC, and you are now serving as
chair of the Fraternity and Stority Action Fund. So how do you-- yes,
Ryan, we'll pause. Thank you for that.
So how do you see Tridelta leading through those conversations, and why does that
matter? Well, first of all, I just want to say the one thing I learned,
and this goes, you know, as president, when this all started back during the time I
was president, about 2021 -20 -20 -20 -20 -01 -02,
try Delta no matter how old you may be offers you challenges. And I've learned,
I continue to this day to learn from that. I never dreamed that I would be going
to the Hill advocating for issues that impact sororities and fraternities for the
future, going to the offices of some members of Congress who maybe,
if I saw them on the news that night, I wouldn't really be agreeing with everything
they said. But I feel that very strongly, and I've learned this through the years,
that Tridelta needs a seat at the table. We are in a situation and in a crisis
situation about the future of our single sex-- and I use single sex because that's
what's in Title IX-- the future of those organizations. And We don't want others
making that decision for us, we want to be part of those conversations. And as
difficult as they may be or as challenging as they may be,
Tridelta needs to continue to be a supporter of having that opportunity for not only
our alumni to go to the hill every spring to advocate for our issues,
but also collegians who have had that opportunity, and for many of them, it's
changed their lives.
It's, you know, especially now, it's very challenging, but we want to continue to be
a bipartisan organization, and these laws and issues that we talk about impact us
all, whether you're you're a Democrat, a Republican, whether you haven't even thought
about politics. The future of these organizations hinges on the relationships we make
in Washington. We had a huge success this past year with the signing of the Anti
-Hazing Act that had been worked on for about eight years. And that is-- it takes a
long time for things to happen in Washington, as I know you all know, and we've
been trying for 20 years now to pass the bill to make it possible for your
contributions for housing improvements and all to be tax deductible, 100,
100 percent, and we're still working towards that. It's such a small bill that it
would have to be attached to something else, and it's just very hard. But we have
to keep being represented, having someone sitting at the table with our interfraternal
friends to advocate and support these issues so that we can provide these
opportunities long into the future. Well said.
And if you love politics and are interested in politics or live near the DC area
and want to get involved. I see Maya back there. I know Emma Beards in the room.
There's lots of people in the room who've been to our DC visits before. If you're
interested in pursuing that and want to be involved, Melissa, I see lots of heads
nodding, come find me or Sarah or some of these folks that have been on this trip
because we want that to be a way that you can contribute to try Delta. People ask
me, well, what are you doing now that you're not president anymore? I'm working with
Sarah on the pack and and going on those visits and stuff. So let's talk about it.
For those of us that didn't have that opportunity, it didn't exist when we were in
college and I had the opportunity to go as a board member and really understood
what opportunity we had available for some of our collegiate today to experience
that. It was transformative. So thank you both for serving and for the incredible
work you're doing and for representing all of us. I really understood the power of
that a lot better having been there with you and you are just so impactful in the
great community, so thank you for that.
So
transitioning from thinking about DC to our NPC community, and Eve,
you stepped into the role as NPC Chair after having served as Treadeltas Fraternity
President, and that's a shift from thinking about our membership of 250 ,000 or so
to NPC, which is more than 5 million. Tell us what it's like in moving from
guiding our sisterhood to representing this conference of women. And how do you
navigate that kind of a change where you're taking what might be more personal to
you and then thinking about everyone else in our conference? You know that part of
our purpose that talks about mutually beneficial relationships?
For me, it was easy. I had been president. I'd gotten to be on the NPC delegation.
So I'd had eight years of getting to know our NPC sisters. And I knew many of
them very well. And so when I was chairman, it was like being president of my
friends.
And like my friends, they didn't always agree with what I thought, but anyway, it
was a high honor to be chairman of the National Panel on it conference and the
purpose of the conference, I can still say to my daughter's purpose, but I cannot
say the NPC purpose, but generally it's to improve and benefit,
you know, mutual relationships among all 26 groups and even get along with the men
when we happen to. (audience laughing) And that's not that hard, really. But on the
national scale, I don't know about on a campus, (audience laughing) that's a
different situation. But the change was not that hard because I had served for four
years as treasurer and as secretary on the executive committee and so I had some
experience on the board and I had worked with these ladies and so then when I got
to be chairman Tridelta was behind me a hundred percent and that was a huge huge
relief to know that I had the support of all of you and maybe some of you didn't
know it but I was counting on Tridelta and they were always there for me as
Terriman and stepped up. But those friendships really taught me,
I guess, I don't know, when I was in college it was just rah rah, tri -delta, rah
rah, tri -delta, rah rah, and then of course when you get out of college,
most of you who are out of college know that your next -door neighbor may not be a
tri -Delta, she may be a Phi Mu, or a Sigma Kappa,
or a Kappa Kappa Gamma. I mean, it's more important than ever that we help our
young people understand our collegians, understand the importance of working together,
because on a campus nothing's going to happen if you don't work together. You can
be totally right, but if you don't have anybody behind you that agrees with you and
will vote with you, then you've had it. NPC was a lot like Tridelta in terms of,
I thought that when things happen that they just happened overnight, and you can,
you hear it through the years, and I have the benefit of seeing lots of things
that we dreamed of came true. And I remember when we were,
I was first on the board and we thought we had all this power and not really, but
I got out the history book and looked back and some of our wonderful ideas had
been proposed 10 and 20 years before. And so I thought, we're not quite as good as
we thought we were, or as smart as we thought we are. But The reality is in
panelenic, I learned, and of course I think Tridelta does everything beautifully,
but some of the other groups do things beautifully too. And matter of fact,
they're pretty fantastic. And when you're at the level of the National Panelenic
Conference, we all work together and we share things. And I But if only our
collegians knew that our great, my great idea came from Alpha Sigma Alpha or from
Zeta Alpha and they shared it with me or if I had a problem and I said I've got
this chapter that's just not doing what they need to do, I'm sure none of you all
have ever had that and of course they all went, we've had it. So you could call
and talk to them. So if we could get our collegians to understand the importance
that when you get out in the world, it's not a Tridelta world. We think it is
when we're in college. It's a Tridelta world. But your best friends are often in
another group. They're the ones that are next door to you when you need help, when
your husband has to go to the hospital and your children are there asleep. She'll
be the one that comes over. She won't be a Tridelta. She may be. That's great. But
NPC was, I loved it. It was just, it was so much fun getting to meet all the
people that I met and get to know them and hear their ideas. And it taught me a
lot about the importance of listening to other people and realizing that they have
great ideas or they know how to handle problems that I thought I knew how to do,
but obviously I didn't. So I would encourage you to enjoy your paneling sisters
across your towns and the countries and pass that on to your daughters and your
sons, the importance of working together. And I think that is especially critical in
these times. >> Yeah. 100%. Yeah.
It's so You know, we really, we say it in the NPC, you have more in common than
we do, that's different, right? There's more that connects us and unites us. - Can I
tell you one funny story? - Please.
- My son was a member of Kapaseg, or he still is. And one day he asked,
he said, "Demind if I, this girl is gonna come over and she wants to start a
chapter, a sorority." I said, "Okay." And he said, "We need to write the ritual.
And I said, "Okay." So they came over and they sat at the kitchen table and were
working on it. And then he would make suggestions and I thought, "I bet that's the
sigma cap of, I mean, cap of sigma rap ritual." But I also,
my daughter, her roommate, pledged another group and I was there when she had she
came in from her initiation and she started telling us all about it and of course
I was terrified I thought didn't they tell you you don't know but I wanted once
you know it was a lot like ours
Yes. Yes. We have a lot in common with our collaboration and support,
100 % important lessons for us. Jackie and Phyllis, let's move to the middle and
talk a little bit about leading through generations. It's one of the things that's
unique when we think about what organizations like Tridelta and our panel and
Existers can offer is this idea of lifelong membership and being able to be in a
room full of women at all ages and stages of life and how much we benefit from
that. It can present some leadership challenges when we think about navigating among
different generations. So I would love to hear how you balance listening to different
voices and perspectives and generations to ensure that our members feel seen and
heard and valued.
I don't think it matters whether you're young or whether you're older. Everybody
wants to be heard. I think Don told us that yesterday as she was speaking last
night and That's important doesn't matter your age People want to have their voice
heard. I remember when I when I became president the board before us Michelle's
board passed the torch and said we really need to change some things in the ritual.
And she thinks that the governance change that was coming about during her time,
it had nothing like the ritual change because we'd always done it the same way.
And you hear that all the time, that's tradition. It may be or it may be not.
With the ritual, it had been changed before. But most of us, including me, I really
didn't know that changes had been made in the past. But I learned that as we went
through that process. And we really tried to spend time listening to our members,
both collegians. We had webinars. We were listening to our alumni. It was a hard,
challenging change. But I hope That our members felt heard because the board really
spent time trying to listen and even we knew we were going to have to make the
changes. Things were changing globally around us and we needed to move forward.
But even after we made those changes we continued to tell the reasons why,
to explain them. And gradually, gradually more and more of our members came on board
and most of you maybe sitting here don't even know that there were changes even
made way back then but we've even changed again as we've allowed our alumni chapters
to participate and preside over rituals so things evolve and I think the most
important thing you can do is to make sure that you listen and explain why those
changes need to be made. Yeah, absolutely. The importance of listening and
communication, I hear. And Phyllis, what about when you don't agree and you have
these different voices at the table?
I am the boss now. That's not what you say at all. I mean, I think what Jackie
is saying is right, is It's listening and it's what Kimberly said too. It's who's
not here who's not at the table We're we are having this conversation. We think
we're up to speed We're ready to make the change but chances are there's someone
here that's going to be impacted by what we're talking about and You know we need
to be intentional about about bringing their voices to the table and one of the
greatest gifts of tri -delta is an intergenerational membership and one of the
greatest gifts of serving as a volunteer and you know being a president being on a
board is that you have an opportunity to work with people who are at all stages of
their lives I mean I've been able to see Lee Riley Eve's son was the we called
him house boys at the time but they were like waiters in the chapter house he was
a waiter in the chapter house when I was in the chapter So I knew Lee before I
knew Eve and then I've been able to see Sarah's daughters grow up and I've been
able to kind of follow in her footsteps and what a great mother she is and what a
wonderful grandmother she is. I'm not a grandmother yet, but I hope to be, you
know, like Sarah, same with Michelle. Also Jackie, a picture of Grace, just there's
so many life changes and so being able to Watch these women ahead of me navigate
being leaders in Trideltas, being so graceful in their lives and managing these
challenges. What a gift. And if you're buying a lot of retinol, quit and just
become Trideltas president. Look at this group. >> [LAUGH] >> I mean, the fountain
of youth up here. >> Yeah. >> Am I wrong? Look how good everybody looks.
Hashtag goals. 'cause I really thought I was gonna look about 30 years older when I
finally gave up the gavel. I felt 30 years older, but (laughing) we look good.
(laughing)
- Great, all right, Elizabeth, there's hope. - There's always hope,
there is always hope. - You'll get there. - Yes, ma 'am, okay, so I would love to,
just as you look around this room and you see all these incredible Tridelta leaders
who are here to learn and to just soak in training and take in, hopefully,
a weekend that encourages and empowers them, what would you want them to take away
about leading and shaping our sisterhood? What advice or wisdom about leadership would
you give to these folks? And anybody can start.
There, you wanna go? I think, first of all, thank you, this organization,
I've learned all through the years. We can't ever exist without our volunteers.
But one thing that I feel strongly about is when something happens,
you know, step back and take a deep breath and think about it and don't take it
personally. Like, I've seen people who, you know, get mad at Tridelta or don't like
a chapter. Something happens because of something that happened in that chapter. But
just step back and try not to take it personally because that's just going to eat
at you for a long time. And so, talk to other friends, talk to fellow sisters,
share your thoughts, don't be afraid to consult. Like, you know, so through the
years, I've learned something from every single one of these women. Age doesn't
matter.
You know, I'm, well, I'm almost 71 years old and I learned from people on my
paneling team I had who are, you or barely 30 or from collegians, that doesn't
matter. Just find those people that you can go to and share your thoughts and
what's bothering you. And they may not have all the support to give you,
well, verbally, but they can be there to listen and love you and hug you. - Yeah,
that's support network. Michelle. - I think what I is that, you know, when we all
started out, did any of you think, "Oh, one day, I'm going to be fraternity
president?" No. - Definitely not. - Definitely not. But what I think is common amongst
all of us, and I know is very true for me, is that every step in Tridelta,
the more I was involved, the more I received personally. It sounds selfish,
but Tridelta is here. It gives you so much more than what I have ever given.
And so for me, it's about being there and learning and enjoying every single step.
One of the favorite things I did was served as an AA after I was fraternity
president. And I learned so much from those college women after I had been already
at the board table and loved it and developed great relationships. So when you're in
the trenches and really working hard with the chapter, I mean, know that what you're
doing on a day -to -day basis is making a big difference. It is helping women and
it is also going to come back to you in a positive way. It might not feel like
that at one in the morning or whatever time it is you're having to solve some
issue that's come across your desk. But I promise you that Tri Delta has so many
gifts I cannot imagine my life without my Tri Delta friends.
Many of you know I'm talking directly to you and I am. I'm talking to all of you.
I have met some of you when you were collegians And I am so blessed. So I just
encourage you keep serving as a mentor, keep doing what you're doing, because it's a
beautiful addition to a life. Absolutely. Well said.
Jackie? I read long, long time ago, leadership is not about you.
It's about the next generation and what you're doing to help them develop,
grow the tools that you're going to give them, whether they're young collegiate
members or whether they're older alumni members, you're giving them the tools to make
them a better leader. That's what Michelle was really saying. All the different
things that we've done and that you've done throughout the years and the way you've
served, Tridelta has given you the tools to continue to grow in your leadership
skills. It's a gift. And we are so thankful that you all are here.
You're making a difference in so many lives that you may not ever even know, but
you will touch people because they'll come back and tell you what you did what
little thing you said it doesn't even have to be something real profound it's those
little connections that you make that truly make the difference so as you go out
you're not gonna enjoy every moment but I'm gonna tell you you're gonna join enjoy
99 % of them and those that you didn't enjoy if you're like me you really don't
even remember Do you remember those special connections and people that you've become
friends with? So have a great year. We appreciate you.
And you're right about not knowing the connection you're going to make. So if you
didn't know, when I traveled as a field consultant for Tridel to 30 years ago,
Jackie was what we would have called at the time my field consultant She was a
volunteer. It was a volunteer role. And Gwen was president. And I ran over my own
laptop. So just make that call. And Jackie and Gwen, the picture of Grace,
took it all in stride. It made me feel like, I have a lot of stories. We could
go all day, but-- but just, you know, that you probably don't even remember.
I was mortified. And you all were-- well, she does remember. I She does remember,
but just that grace to be able to be, hey, I'm not, you know, this crazy thing.
Actually, I didn't, let me just qualify. My dad backed over it.
I didn't actually back over it. Sure, I threw him under the net. But I had to
make the call that I have destroyed my Tridelta laptop. You took it so well and
made me feel like I hadn't really screwed up. It was all going to be fine. We can
fix that so it was fine, and it was fine and look at us now look at us now Eve
rescue me
I want to go back to our purpose in our rituals. I don't know how many of you
all can say the purpose or Think about the nine virtues in the in the initiation
service. I Have found That that purpose and those rituals Provide the most incredible
God for a successful happy life So if you don't know them look them up our call
somebody that might know them and the office knows them are I'm sure all of you
all know them But I can't so many times I think about Helping each other in every
possible way.
Being sincere, being patient, I'm not good at that.
Being kind, that's very important. For just for living. And Tridelta gave me that.
I was the chaplain of the chapter, so I had to learn them. And they've stuck with
me, and it's provided such a great guide. So hold on to it.
- So Eve, could I kind of go off of that? 'Cause that was gonna be my advice. Oh,
sorry, fellas, I know. But for me, those virtues are amazing, and I always had
three things that I could repeat to myself. It was be generous, be patient, be kind
with yourself and with others. So often, it's easy to do that with others, and it's
harder to do it with ourselves. And so again, be generous, be patient, and be kind
with yourself and with others. That's great. Okay. We're all leaning into this,
so that was similar. But mine for you are two of my favorite parts, and I think
they're so relevant to service, and to particularly being a volunteer in Tri -Delta.
And from the Tri -Dent We have confidence in yourself, ask questions, search yourself
with questioning, and then become great at what you're doing. Have confidence in
yourself, search myself with questioning, be the master. And then, of course, some of
the final stances of initiation.
Go and charge thyself with love, and be infinite and opulent.
I mean, that means I put all the love it's on, all the love rings on, all the
love bling, spread it out through free -sewing this full harvest spring.
When you spread it out, you're going to be able to harvest it. It's going to come
back to you tenfold. Love God and life and all living things. So those two things
to me, you know, we're there from the beginning and speak to what Eva said,
speak to what what Megan has said and lean on those things. in the wonderful times
and then in the hard times. - Yeah, it's all there.
Kimberly, you'll round us out and what can we share with women who may be thinking
about what's next and how can I continue to serve Tridelta? - Well, I will say that
Tridelta will always give you opulent continuous opportunities of growth. You just
have to continue to raise your hand. I think that my suggestion would be,
doors open for a reason. You might not know why, you might never know why. But
they're to shape you of who the person that you're supposed to be and address the
issues that will face you. So my suggestion is always to walk through those doors,
bring people with you, surround yourself with those that will support you and lift
you up. So my pitch is, if day, you would love to maybe sit up here behind
Elizabeth and far, far on, or you would like to serve on one of our boards and
you would love to be able to influence our fraternity at that level.
I would recommend that you raise your hand and say I'd be interested in serving. We
have a committee. It's called the Leadership Cultivation Selection Committee. I am
currently the chair of it, and we would love to hear how you feel about the
fraternity and what you would like to see and the people that you would like to
see serving on it and making those decisions. And if you feel like that's something
that you're interested, come talk to us. We have a booth right outside. And we
would love to talk to you, but I would just definitely encourage to walk through
all those doors. Thank you. Well,
what fun. I could sit and talk with you all all day. This has been such a treat.
Thank you for sharing some stories, some laughs, some special moments, your hearts
with us today. It's really been a gift, and I think I can speak for everyone in
this room that we are incredibly grateful for your many, many years of service for
saying yes, for setting such a high bar and such an incredible standard for
leadership in Tridelta. So thank you. [APPLAUSE]
What a special conversation. When Eve Riley tells us that she still sees the
incredible impact of Tridelta's values today, but that's all you need in life, what
a mic drop moment that was for me. I could listen to these ladies talk over and
over and over again. I hope you all agree that hearing from them was truly
inspiring. I encourage you to take some of what you heard into your own life,
whether it's a lesson in leadership, resilience, or the power of sisterhood. Let it
guide you as you make an impact in your own chapters, communities, and beyond.
Thanks for listening today. Please like, subscribe, and rate our podcast. Three stars
in our crescent that we love those five star ratings. Thanks for joining us. Until
next time, Delta Love.