Let's Talk Tri Delta

Seven Decades of Sisterhood with Past Fraternity President Sash Gabbard

Episode Summary

In honor of Tri Delta History Month and Founders’ Day, we’re taking a meaningful look back at Tri Delta’s history with past Fraternity President Sara “Sash” Vaughn Gabbard, Illinois. Initiated in 1955, Sash has witnessed—and helped shape—decades of Tri Delta sisterhood, leadership and change. In this episode, she shares unforgettable stories, thoughtful perspectives and timeless wisdom for today’s members of all ages.

Episode Notes

In a candid interview with Tri Delta Chief Engagement Officer Elizabeth Howard DiMartino, Boston, Sash reflects on her journey from collegiate member to Fraternity President, offering a window into Tri Delta life in the 1950s and beyond, from June recruitment and curfews to the cultural shift of the late ’60s and early ’70s.

You’re sure to enjoy her candid memories, including the purchase of our first word processor, navigating board work by mail and expensive long-distance phone calls and her belief that leadership often begins by simply saying “yes.”

Sprinkled with humor, history and gratitude, this episode is a true time capsule, a celebration of the past and an inspiration for the future. It’s a reminder that while our world looks very different from how it did in 1955, our Purpose continues to guide us forward.

Episode Transcription

[Seven Decades of Sisterhood with Past Fraternity President Sash Gabbard]

 

This transcript was created using automated technologies and may contain errors.

 

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Let's Talk Tri Delta. I'm your host,

Elizabeth DiMartino, and I serve as Tri Delta’s Chief Engagement Officer. I am also

Tri Delta’s most immediate past president and join Tri Delta at our Alpha chapter at

Boston University. Before joining Tri Delta's staff this Fall, I have served for more

than 25 years as a Tri Delta volunteer. And of all the amazing experiences that I

have had, I think today ranks as one of the highlights of my Tri Delta experience. I

cannot wait to dig in and take you with me on this fun conversation that we're

about to have. Throughout the month of November in Tri Delta, we like to celebrate

our sisterhood and the legacy of our founders. And that's why today I'm thrilled to

be joined by one of Tri Delta's most inspiring leaders, Sarah “Sash” Vaughn Gabbard,

from our Delta Pi chapter at the University of Illinois. Sash was initiated in 1955

and served as Tri Delta's fraternity president from 1980 to 1984.

Sash's leadership, warmth, and deep love for Tri Delta for more than 70 years has

left a lasting impact on our sisterhood and on many of us. I have had the

opportunity to meet Sash and spend time with her in person, and I can tell you

that we are in for a treat today. We're so lucky to have her here with us today

on the podcast to share her insights and her wisdom, and this platform is going to

allow us to have such a wide reach than was ever possible than when she was

president. So, Sash, welcome. It is an honor to have you here with us today. Thank

you. This is a continuation of just so much fun I've had getting to know you over

the last year and a half or so personally. And I love hearing the stories that you

have about your Tri Delta experience, not only in serving as a leader, but also

about your experiences in Tri Delta, even back to your early collegiate days. You

joined Tri Delta back in 1955 at the University of Illinois. And I would love for

our listeners to hear your experiences in college life. What was it like back then?

And what do you most remember about your experiences in Tri Delta during those days?

Well, I came from a high school graduating class of 112,

and at the time the University of Illinois had 22,000 students.

I'm sure it's double that by now. So, I probably wouldn't have fared very well if I

had not had the Tri Delta support. In that day,

the University of Illinois had every single national fraternity and sororities.

So Greeks were a big thing.

Women had rush week in June right after high school graduation.

And then at least with my group, all of the active members were asked to contact

every pledge with letters during the summer.

And we even had some get-togethers for sleepovers and that sort of thing.

So, by the time I arrived at the chapter house in September,

I had met at least by letter every single member of the chapter.

So that made me feel a lot safer and more secure at facing the University of

Illinois. And I was a little bit of afraid of getting out of the car when my

parents pulled up to the house. But, as was the custom,

which I did not know about, the fraternity guys from Theta Chi across the street,

unloaded luggage and everything for every new pledge.

So instead of crying when I saw these guys in their white buck shoes,

by the way. That was big back then. I just kind of turned to my mom and dad and

said goodbye. It went on the way. So, it just was a marvelous experience.

Now as pledges we had hours when we had the big,

but then so did all women's students. Pledges were, we were required to study from

7 until 10 on weeknight, but there was a 10:30 curfew for all women's students.

And there was a weekend curfew. I know Sunday night was 11:00 for women.

And I think we could Friday and Saturday nights, we could stay staff and out until

1:00. So, it was just an entirely different experience,

but that was okay because we weren't exactly

looking forward to challenges. And I know that the freshman registration for classes

was in the huge armory that they used for our OTC drilling.

And it was awful,

scary because it was so huge and so loud.

and we weren't allowed to be accompanied by Tri Delta,

older girls, but they, my pledge mother was standing right outside the door,

and I took some comfort from the fact that she was there.

But it was so confusing when I saw a sign that said P .E .M.

And I thought it meant physical education in the morning. So I stood in a long row

to sign up for P .E. in the morning. And of course,

it turned out to be P .E. for men. And so I had to find another long line to

stand in. But as I say, our study hours,

we were kept under pretty close. Yeah, absolutely.

That does sound like things have changed a little. Yeah, I was going to think that

probably wouldn't go over very well today. But times change,

and that's okay. That's right. And I know that change isn't good or bad,

it's just change. So, my collegiate experience was completely different.

Not only the members today, but also the 60s,

just 10 years after I was initiated, that was a whole different Greek experience.

And I was a district president at the end of the 60s.

So, the chapter visits and that sort of thing,

the members had a little bit of a different

outlook on freedom and you know complying with everything, but they were I think

probably some of our members who were initiated in the 60s were probably better

members braver members certainly than those of us in the 50s because it was in to

be in a sorority in the 50, and it took quite a better courage on some campuses.

Now, not all of them, of course. So, it was kind of a changing of the guard in

that respect. Sure. And even in that 10 years, that that would have changed.

Yeah. Talk to me about, you know, even as we think about Tri Delta moving and

existing through periods of change, our values continue to be timeless.

Thinking back to your Tri Delta experience, what was it that drew you to Tri Delta?

Those foundational memories of being a collegiate member and beginning to understand

this thing that you are now part of that was much larger than just your one

-chapter existence? Well, truth be told, which I assume you want that.

My mom and her sister were both Tri Deltas at Illinois. Wonderful.

So, I had even been in the chapter house. My mom and dad had seasonal football

tickets. And when the weather got bad in November,

my mom would very graciously allow me to go with dad and use her ticket to go to

the game. And he and I went by on rare occasions.

Usually, we went to his Sigma Chi house and you can imagine,

for greasy chili, that was what they served before football game.

And you can imagine a kind of awkward, frightened high school student going in to

the Sigma Chi House for lunch. And I certainly remember that.

I remember the people most of all and we built an addition what when I was a

sophomore and it almost doubled the size of our chapter but there was a steep it

was supposed to be completed over the summer and there was a steel strike that

summer and so the chapter house was not completed and as I told you we rushed in

in June so we had all of these pledges coming in

there was no room. So two-girl rooms became three-girl.

Three-girl rooms became four. And that was a little bit dice,

and we didn't give the house back until the end of that first semester.

And there was a gaping hole in the back of it for all those months and that was

a little unsettling but you know it was just it was it was okay because we loved

each other and ever nobody complained uh you know we just did what had to be done

to house those girls. You were all in it together. Yeah.

Let's pivot a little bit and talk about your leadership journey.

I know from our records that in 1958, you received Tri Delta’s Leadership Award,

which is now, of course, called the Sarah Ida Shaw Award, which is given annually

to a graduating senior. And you served as a graduate counselor right after graduation

for Tri Delta, which is a program we no longer have, but did have for many years.

And then you went on to serve the fraternity in so many ways, of course, most

notably as our fraternity president, but also as collegiate vice president, foundation

secretary, a membership director, an associate director. And when you think back on

all of those experiences, where did your leadership's journey start? Was it in those

early chapter days? And what got you excited about being a leader and stepping into

service? I'm afraid I really don't, didn't think that's true.

You know, I want to be a leader or anything. It just, it just kind of happened.

I think I was chapter president because

Back year that I pledged, we had a very small pledge class. So, it wasn't as if I

planned on anything or defeated others or that sort of thing.

It just kind of happened. I think I was house manager,

which that job you dealt with the kitchen and the house miller and that sort of

thing. So that wasn't a whole lot of fun, but it was just what it was.

And I think with the Leadership Award,

the chapter, well, all the chapters nominated somebody each year and it had nothing

to do with me it had to do there was a committee of about five or six who wrote

the letters for me why they nominated me and they sat in the living room every

night at 10:30 after the house closed, and you could hear them howling with

laughter. And I never saw what they submitted.

But I just have to think that what they did was the reason.

And the convention that year was in Miami Beach,

and our alumna advisor,

two other chapter members and I drove from Illinois to Miami Beach in our alumni's

elderly Buick. It was one of the first cars to have air conditioning.

And we frequently had to get out and pour water over the engine to,

and the three collegians, we took turns driving so that Mrs.

Osborne never had to. And we stopped on the way down at historical places.

The others disagreed with me on the value of this, but we went to Shiloh and

Chickamauga. And I still remember we went to Andersonville,

the prison camp for northern soldiers in the Civil War.

And we went right before noon,

and the only time on the trip, we skipped lunch because it had made such an impact

on us to Sandersonville. Now, why I remember that, I don't know.

You know, the elderly mind is a wonder to be whole sometimes,

but that was the best trip. And we had a little bit of a different viewpoint,

perhaps, of the national officers than when I was on the board.

Mrs. Haller, I still can't call her Margaret. The ones I knew in college,

I was never able to call by their first names. I understand that very much.

So Mrs. Haller was our goddess, I guess.

Mrs. Rudolph was the editor of the Trident at the time.

Mrs. Moles was there. So, I remember all of these women who just,

you know, they walk across the room. I remember seeing Mrs.

Conard. She didn't come to many things. And she was, what, president in the mid to

late 40s, I think. And she was always a hero of mine.

And once I saw her walk across a hotel lobby where we were having a convention.

And you just knew, you know, whether you were a Tri Delta or not,

you just knew that she had it together. So I don't think people had that same kind

of hero worship or heroin worship, if you prefer,

much after my experience as a legion.

I don't know, but I just, I think there was kind of a change in a attitude.

But something there ignited in you, you stayed involved,

you started volunteering and serving. Do you remember what that was? Was it someone

asking, hey, we have a need? Or did you, did you say, I'd love to do that? What

was Dennis is there for you. When I first started, now you've got, this was back

in the day when the guys had to serve in the military.

So Bill and I got married and we spent the first three years of our married life

on a Navy base in Spain. so And I actually had Tri Delta stickers in this awful

old car of his. And I met, too, who saw it on the base and met a couple of

other men. But I didn't, you know, I had no leadership.

And as the wife of an ensign and you kind of hid behind the firms as much as

possible. Then when we came back we moved to Rockford Illinois and they had a very

small alumni chapter but I think maybe we had founders stay together.

It wasn't until I moved to St. Louis and was taken in

alumni chapter, that's what really made me think,

I need to be part of this. I need to give back and that sort of thing.

And they, you know, they picked me up for meetings when I didn't know St.

Louis is a large area and they did and so one day Lorraine Whitehead was the

district president and she decided to retire and she took the files another gal had

said she would do it we had basically the three chapters in Missouri.

This other gal agreed to do it. Lorraine showed up at her house with the district

president's files in her trunk, opened the trunk, and the gal said,

forget that. So I mean, she was real active in politics and a lot of things.

She said, I can't do that. So I sort of started my national volunteer thing and

secondhand rose, I guess I would be, because the gal who was supposed to be

district president said no. Well, I don't think your secondhand rose, but how

fortunate for us. And it was the St.

Louis alumni chapter. And I, in fact, they kept me on and I paid dues long after

Bill and I moved from St. Louis to Indiana. And

they were, and I'm still in touch was an awful lot of it. That's wonderful.

That's wonderful. At my age,

the ranks are thinning, but it's St. Louis. Mm -hmm.

That's where you, that's where it, it sounds like where it started really moving

into fraternity leadership. And of course, that culminated in the early 80s when you

were president from 80 to 84. And there was a lot going on in the world. I know

you love history. That was a time marked with lots of change of its own, the Cold

War and kind of the genesis of some technology and innovation. Computers began to

make their way. And I love hearing, I've heard them from you before, some of your

stories about those early days thinking about how we served our office and our staff

and what that looked like. As a Boeing Tech, well, Mary Kay Baker was president.

I was membership director. So this would have been sometime between 74 and 76.

And we decided as a board that we needed to update from writers and things.

So the executive office staff at that time was dear Lou Smith and seven others.

So we told Lou to buy a word processor.

We'd heard that word. And we just, we knew we needed something.

And so we went to Dallas, Arlington for a board meeting.

And Lou was so proud. And she took the five of us into this office.

There was an enormous box -like thing sitting by itself on a table.

And that was our Tri Delta’s first word processor. Now, we had no idea what it should

be used for or anything. But remember, we didn't have cell phones or emails or

anything like that. So that obviously has grown into a huge part of running,

as you know, running the fraternity, and I have no experience whatsoever in the fact

that I had to have my daughter and grandson set up this podcast shows you where I

am with technology, but it grew and at some point in time,

those of you who understand these things took over the leadership,

and I'm baffled by it, but very proud of the fact that some of you know what to

do because without it you just can't be around the day but I know that we just

the five board members with all of the boards I were was on we very rarely spoke

to each other because phone calls were so expensive and I remember in my 10 years,

I think there were maybe three or four

group calls with the five members. And I remember the pass from Lubbock,

Texas, knew how to set it up. So she was our guru. And I think that one of them

was over a really startling thing.

And then my recollection is that the others were before a convention when a few

things had to be ironed out. So we just weren't very savvy.

So was most of your correspondence through mail? You were mailing things back and

forth? It was all mail. And we had these awful.

You had to make the original and six copies. And there were these carbon sets that

were at the top. They were to get. And each board member had a different color.

And so you had, and we just had,

we did have electric typewriters, but you,

in order to get through to the seventh, maybe the sixth and seventh page,

you just had to wind up and hit the keys. You know, In fact, I had to have elbow

surgery the year after I left the board,

and the orthopedic surgeon said that my elbow looked like a curveball pitcher who

didn't throw the ball correctly. And it was slapping those,

slapping those things that. All that correspondence. Oh, yeah. It was just all.

Yeah. And today we can just shoot a text off and take no time at all.

Well, that is correct. So I would say that the communication is a huge plus from

what we had. Sure. Outside of technology, are there any other,

you know, big priorities or changes that come to mind during that era for you as

you were thinking about fraternity leadership? Now, we had pretty well gotten through

the racial

question on pledges because we didn't have have a lot black members,

but we did have some black members, and I

know that it was at a major university.

Maybe I should give them a break and not say, I got a phone call at suppertime

from a student reporter from this university,

and what I had to do in the kitchen, they didn't even have the thing where you

could walk around, but I had this enormously long cord so that I could get all the

way around. And I got a phone call.

I was fixing suffer and it was from a student reporter and he said,

tried out just pledged the first black woman on the campus.

What are you going to do about it? And I said, I'm going to wish her well as I

do with all pledges and hope that she makes or graves, there were some uncomfortable

moments, but we just kept on trucking,

you know, we still,

so. Well, lots of lessons learned, hard lessons learned, hard decisions made,

I know during that. Life, isn't it? And I do remember we didn't have anything even

remotely comparable to the fundraising efforts today.

I was collegiate vice president,

and we decided to have a national mailing asking for money.

We called it the loyalty fund. Well, we still just had that one word processor,

and we had no idea. So we had to hire

fundraisers, a fundraising firm.

I think they were in St. Louis, and, I mean, you had to compile the names,

print and distribute the request return on I mean it cost us $28,000 and we were

terrified that we wouldn't cover the costs because this was new yeah And it turns

out we took in $32,000. So we made a grand profit of $4,000,

and we were just kind of look at us. And so, and of course,

we didn't have a single national philanthropy the way St.

Jude's is now. So the,

it was, it was just a different thing. And now,

each chapter

had fundraising.

I remember I had grown up with a St. Bernard at home.

And the fraternity, Theta Chi, across the street from us,

had a St. Bernard named Ox. And we had a raffle off,

raffling our services. Well, you wouldn't have called them services, but we did

chores and stuff. The Theta Chi's put in a whole lot of money for one of the

trident outs to wash ox and since I had a they put me in the shower in the

chapter house with this dog so we did a lot of things like that And we always

gave scholarships and the service projects,

I think, on that, what it was called the scholarships. Sure. But we just had

nothing comparable to what you all have built with St.

Jude's. Yeah. It is remarkable. It really is. Think about the scale of that. that.

I'm going to pull us back to, I know you are a student of history and we share a

love of history and I have spent some time in our foundational documents and in our

archives and I know you have likely as well. And I'm always struck by when I look

at those early documents and I see the words of our founders,

you know, Sarah said, we're going to found a society that'll be kind of like to

all thinking more of a girl's inner self and her character than her personal

appearance. And to me, you know, we really have this idea of belonging,

inclusion, kindness to others, really baked in. And I would just love to hear when

you think about those early words, you know, what that means to you, how that

resonates. And as we think about what it means from your,

or that's childish or that sort of thing and somebody asked me at church not too

long ago I don't know why it came up they were asking who had been in a sorority

and who had in a book group and so I said yeah And they said,

well, I was too, but I'm not into that kind of nonsense anymore.

And I fear that

some people still feel that.

But those lessons,

those mottos, I mean, they're good for all time whether you go back to the founders

or go to today. And I think that there is a

tendency to to overlook that sort of bond that can,

and the importance of it. But there are those of us who still treasure the lessons

learned. And there is absolutely nothing wrong

with having models or any

kind of symbolism that will bring you back and remind you of the things that are

important to you. I think that that, for those of us who were bitten by the bug,

I think that,

You know, we can just hold on to that.

I know that I usually at,

well, I gave what, two convention keynotes and two leadership school keynotes.

And

I always worked in kind of like and something from the rituals.

I just always did that because I think we all need things to cling to.

I know what I do, and I think there are many who do and there are lots of things

from what we learned as kids or as teenagers as young adults and there were some

lessons learned they still apply today and I just think that

by focusing on these words,

it's just, it's just, for me, it's necessary to keep

an even keel, I know, to me. And remind me how to treat others and be.

Yeah, that's right.

And I

found a letter that you wrote in 1988.

You must have been just finishing up your term as, your second term as president.

And you noted in the letter that when you were in the chapter, you did things for

the house, that it was, I had to do these things for the house. FTAH, we call it.

For the house. FTAH. And then you later reflected that while these things were for

the house, they benefited you personally and you learned these lessons. That's what

you're, you know, when you're saying this, it's reminding me of what you wrote. And

I have the same experience. You do something because it feels like you need to at

the time. And what you don't always see is that you've benefited greatly as a

leader, as a, as a sister, as a friend, as a human from these experiences.

I've forgotten F -T -H. Yes. Or the how. Well,

I love your nod back to our symbolism and how it reminds us of our ideals and our

values and this call to be kind of like to all. I think it's important,

especially as we think about Founders Day, and we're heading into a season of that

as we move into November? I even noticed Crescent Moons still.

In fact, my Becky, my daughter, was a Pfei, and I remember one of their field reps

was staying with us once and Gene Scott was the national president of Pi -Fi at the

time.

And

Becky's friend, the field rep,

we were outside, and she called Jean Scott, and she said,

Mrs. Gabbard is making me admire the Crescent Moon.

Can you do anything about that? And Gene Scott said, no, that's just what she is.

And then Jean came to a convention, I believe, and told that story that my Pfei

daughter and her field ref were upset about being forced to admire a Crescent Moon.

And I know you have your pansy on your shirt today, which I love, your special.

This shirt,

Kathy Ford, membership director, as I said, one of the responsibilities was Rush.

And this, when I was elected membership director in for Kathy Ford of Lubbock,

Texas,

was National Rush Chairman.

And she told me that I must come to Lubbock to learn bumper rotation.

Yes. I don't know if anybody knows what bumper... I do, and I think many people

Listening will know. Yes, and we used to call it Texas Tech in my chapter. Bumper

rotation in the 50. Yeah, but you didn't do it right. So I went to Lubbock and

she made this shirt for me. It has the Deltas on the back,

the pansies on the front, my name's

Sash, and it even has my Delta Pi,

and she sent this to me. This has to be 50 years old.

I love this. This is great. It needs to be in our archives someday, Sash, so we

can all admire the beautiful symbolism. I suppose that are probably, but that,

I just, I,

Kathy was just, but in her rotation, she was going to show the new membership

director how to do that. I love that. What a great memory.

Well, any, as any words of wisdom to leave us with, as you think about those of

us that are carrying the torch forward for Tri Delta, you you know, what is your

hope for the future of Tri Delta and for our organization and thinking about your

long legacy of leadership and service? What is it that you're hoping for as we head

into our Founders Day season? You know what? I wish the joy of friendship to all

of you, both the leaders and the members,

because without that, It's a whole lot of work. It's still a whole lot of work,

but that word joy is to me, it's,

in fact, I may have given a talk once on the word joy, probably did. But it's not

happy. It goes so far beyond. I'd wish all of me would enjoy your friendship.

Thank you, Sash. And right back at you. We wish it back for you, and we're so

grateful for your service, for the legacy that you've given us of, you know,

modeling true lifetime membership and service to the fraternity. So thank you for

spending some time with me today. This has been a joy. I just was delighted

thinking about this conversation all day today. Take care and lead us where we need

to be left.

Absolutely, absolutely. Well, to all of our Tri Delta listeners,

happy Founders Day. We hope that you have enjoyed celebrating this special day with

sisters near and far from alumni chapter gatherings to connections online. And as we

reflect on our sisterhood and the legacy of our founders. I hope you'll take a

moment to read the Founders Day proclamation from our current president, Libby Hogan

Leffler from California at Berkeley, which is now available on the Trident online at

TriDelta.org slash the trident. Please like,

subscribe, and rate our podcast. We love five-star ratings from you. And thanks for

joining us. Until next time, Delta love from all of us.