Let's Talk Tri Delta

Reunions, Retirement and Enduring Friendship

Episode Summary

Prepare to have your heart warmed as we talk to our 1985 Sarah Ida Shaw Award winner Lisa Lewis Sernett, California/Berkeley, and she shares her life’s journey—made smoother by connections, relationships and Tri Delta. Learn why she says no one gets over the finish line without the help of others!

Episode Notes

Get to know Lisa Lewis Sernett, California/Berkeley, our 1985 Sarah Ida Shaw Award recipient, as she delves into her life’s profound theme: the pivotal role relationships play in shaping her. She reflects on the depth of her choices, emphasizing the extraordinary connections she’s forged through Tri Delta and beyond. Her rich and cherished friendships have been the cornerstone of her journey, evident in her remarkable 36-year dinner club. Through her endearing anecdotes—from winning the SIS Award to her career choices and family travel adventures—Lisa talks about the significance of camaraderie, bonding and shared experiences in fostering lasting connections. Join us for a podcast episode that explores the deep-rooted beauty and impact of friendship in Tri Delta. 

Episode Transcription

Welcome to another episode of our podcast, Let's Talk Tri Delta. I'm your host and Tri Delta’s CEO, Karen White. We are so glad you've joined us today and we are thrilled to welcome today's special guest, Lisa Lewis -Sernett. Lisa is a proud graduate of Cal/Berkeley (Go, Bears!) and the winner of our 1985 Sarah Ida Shaw Award. That's the most prestigious award given to collegiate members in Tri Delta. You may know that we recently featured an article in The Trident magazine about our past Sarah Ida Shaw winners, and that's where Lisa shared her inspiring journey and the profound impact that Tri Delta friendships and winning the Sarah Ida Shaw Award have had on her life. So today we have the privilege of talking with Lisa. I can't wait to delve into her experiences and her wisdom because she is sure to inspire and uplift each of us. Lisa, welcome. 

Thank you, Karen. It's so great to be here. 

So let's talk a little bit about you. I know you love that, right? Full disclosure with our podcast listeners, Lisa and I had the best visit together and probably could have spent a whole day having coffee. So I know a little bit about your personal journey, but I would love for you to share with our listeners your experience as a self -proclaimed Navy brat, right, and how that influenced your perspective on moving around and making friends.

Yeah, so my dad was a career naval officer, which meant we moved a lot. I went to seven different schools between first grade and when I graduated from high school. So moving, making friends, rinse, repeat, that was kind of my life. I was, I think always in startup mode. So fast forward to Cal Berkeley. In my senior year, I'm sitting in my room in the Tri Delt house. And I have this realization that my three years living in the Tri Delt house was the longest place I ever lived.

Wow. 

It was like, whoa. And I really like this. I like not moving around. I like being a one place. I like the continuity and the stability of relationships. And just, I realized that really before college, I wasn't keeping up with anyone. The roots just weren't that deep. But in college, you know, I had all of a sudden gotten that from all the wonderful women that I met and friendships that I made. So that was a big consequence of moving around a lot, was realizing that I didn't want to move, and that I really valued the friendships that I made, and I was going to work really hard to keep them. 

So I mean, I think that's incredible to have found sort of longevity and stability living in the house for three years, right? So Cal Berkeley, what led you to choose Cal? What led you to choose Tri Delta? And you know, how did these choices shape your collegiate experience? Yeah, so I have 24-year-old twins. I've gone through the whole college process and, you know, they did the exhaustive survey of all the universities in the country and urban versus rural versus big versus small. My selection of Cal came down to like one event. I was a new junior in high school. school, so I just switched schools again. So I was doing my usual thing, running around, joining a lot of clubs, trying to find my people. And one of the things that seemed interesting was the Model United Nations Club. 

Yeah, sure. 

And so every high school who participated, they were assigned a country. And then you went to the university, which was Cal, for a three-day meeting filled with, you know, the United Nations meeting and lots of social fun events. And after I did that, I just couldn't really see myself anywhere else. I could place myself there. So that's, that's the, the not very analytical but sort of fated way that I ended up going to Cal. I applied to one school and it's so interesting now how many schools kids apply to.

The process is so different now, right? But I love that you had, maybe not analytical, but it was certainly experiential, right? You found your place. 

It was. And it was a little bit of a, not a fight, but my high school counselor really thought Cal was not the right place for me. He thought it was too big and too busy. And, you know, he really wanted me to look at these really small, really rural schools. And, you know, it's just funny when you think back, what if I had done that and not gone to Cal.

Oh, yeah. 

And then on the Tri Delt front, I kind of knew about sororities. My mom had been in college for one year and she was in a sorority and I kind of heard about that a little bit. And I thought, okay, this is a way to meet some people, make a big university, kind of a smaller, cozier place. So I signed up for rush. And after the first day, I nearly dropped out.

It's a lot. 

It's a lot. And the singing and the clapping and the chit chat and the fancy clothes, clothes that I thought were fancy clothes. I just thought this is not for me. Square peg round hole. But if it weren't for my parents and a couple of friends that I made in my rush group who I'm still friends with I may have dropped out. They said, you know, keep going give it a try you never know where it will lead. 

Yeah. 

So I went through the whole process and I did that thing on the last day when you go to two parties and at the end of the day, you write down the order. 

Yeah. 

I only wrote down Tri Delt. 

Yes, oh my gosh, yes. So that was for you, it was meant to be. That's what we would say.

Yeah, so, you know, let the chips fall where they may. If they want me, great. If not, you know, I'll go off and do something else. Luckily they wanted me too. And I define that, I have a couple of sliding door moments in my life and I just find that as one of my sliding door moments where life could have been really different, but I'm really glad that I went through that. door and joined the house because A, the friendships have been so meaningful. And 42 years later, I'm still growing and nurturing those same friendships. And then on the other hand, just being in an organization with, I don't remember how many people we had, I don't remember how many people we had. 120 or 150. Just all these women doing all these different things. One of the things I wanted to do was be in the business school and there was a whole application process for that. And there were several Tri Delts ahead of me who said, "This is what you need to do. This is who you need to go talk to. Here's all the tricks of the trade.” And, you know, that getting into the business school was my step into my career. And they were so helpful. And then just the wide array of different things people were doing. And it was like this buffet where you go, Oh, wow, that looks fun. I want to go do that. And like so many enriching experiences during school and then also just the leadership roles in the house which were really developmental for me and very helpful for me in my career and outside of my career. So those, you know, that's my story about going to Cal and Tri Delt and why they were so important to me.

Well, I sure am glad those doors slid in the directions they did. Lucky us, right? And I know you say lucky you, 'cause we've spent time talking about how Tri Delta has really stayed woven into the fabric of your life, right? But look, before we get there, let's just, let's dive in. your career a little bit. You had a pretty massive career, but you talked to me about the fact that you had an opportunity to move to New York and you declined. You wanna talk about maybe the factors, including Tri Delta, right, that may have influenced that decision and then really how it's ended up shaping your life?

I went into a career of accounting and finance. The first 10 years was with a public accounting firm, global, but based in San Francisco, so I didn't have to move, but I could go travel and do things with my work. Then I went to work for a client and three years after I went to work for them we sold ourselves to JP Morgan, which has as many people probably know an enormous footprint in New York and history there. So somewhere along the way, I had taken this class. It was like a professional development class on time management and the two senior executives teaching the class had told us, just imagine your life as a pie chart, you know, as a pie and think of all the things that are important to you, your family, your friends, your faith, your health, your community, you know, whatever. Now, put those in your pie chart and size them up according to your priorities and so we all did that. These two senior executives they went first and they showed their pie charts and both of them had almost half of their pie as their work as their job and I just remember that being like, I think I was in my mid or late 20s, I just remember that like, hitting me and going, wow, I feel so differently about my own life, and my job was kind of like this normal piece of pie but like my family and my friends and my community were, were most of my pie. And so I'm in this job, we've been acquired by a New York company. It becomes obvious to me that if I really want to rise in the organization, I'm going to have to do it in New York. And they start offering me roles. And I just kept coming back to the pie. And I was like, do I really want to disrupt all of this pie for this other piece of pie? And I decided I didn't. And so I politely declined. And luckily, even though it's such a big organization, I had some mentors and managers where we were able to craft kind of a different path for me. The compromise was I did a lot of travel. So I ended up doing some remote roles that probably would have been based in New York, but I was allowed to do them from San Francisco, but I was on a lot of airplanes and red eyes. But yeah, I just made that decision that for me, the right thing, and again, going back to moving so much growing up, I just didn't want to move again. And I didn't want to move my family. My husband had grown up in the same house in a small town in Iowa. And he wasn't that crazy about moving our family either. So we made that decision. And I don't regret it at all. And, you know, it enabled me to stay in this community and just keep going with all my friends and even though I was traveling a lot and gone a lot, I just had that connective tissue to them. 

And you had a home base too.

I had a home base. I had, you know, the shorthand with them that, you know, could dip in and out quickly but, you know, get everything I needed. So that's my career story. 

Well, and what's interesting to me is it's defined by your relationships, right? The fact that you, yes, had this amazing, brilliant career, but what you prioritized in accomplishing that career was maintaining those deep and meaningful relationships, some of which you had from your college years. So when you and I talked, you talked about staying in the Bay Area, making that conscious decision to stay there. And then you talked about the friendship tax, right? So talk to us about, you know, what has kept you there in terms of relationships and how you all kept so close all these years? 

Yeah, I think something that was huge was a friend of mine from the house. It was maybe a couple of years after we all graduated. I was working; she was in law school. Others were kind of doing the same thing. We were all starting to drift apart. You know, we're getting busy with our careers. We were dating, we were meeting new people. And she just one day said, “I don't like this. We need to stay connected.” And she proposed that we form a dinner club and that every month on, you know, a certain day of the month, we would get together, take turns cooking and it would just be kind of this, this touch point in a month for us, and we're still doing it. 

I was gonna say, what's the time frame on this, right? 

It's like 36 years, I guess. Yeah. And when I think about just all the things we've gone through together, all the things we've gone through together, all those phases of life and all those ups and downs and sideways and we've been there with each other. And then also, like some of my favorite people are people, friends I've made through them. So, it's just like this. thing. The other day I was thinking, you know that Kevin Bacon game, six degrees. I have like a three degrees of Tri Delt kind of game myself. 

Nice. 

It's like, of all the people I love, you know, how far back do they connect to a Tri Delt? And it's amazing. A lot of my just most favorite relationships are not only my Tri Delt friends, but the friends I've made through my Tri Delt friends. And then there's this whole group that wasn't connected to Tri Delt. I met them through, you know, raising our kids and going through school together. And I was thinking, I have no connection through Tri Delt with these women. And then one of them, her daughter joined Tri Delt. 

Yeah. 

Yeah, in the fall. And there's like, okay, there we go. Three degrees of Tri Delt.

There it is. I mean, we're everywhere, right? It's bound to happen. So I just, I think that's such a beautiful testament to what this thing we call Tri Delta really is. And, you know,

it's, it's, I get the opportunity to meet with a lot of alumnae, but also a lot of collegians and and it is hard to impress upon them what this really is. I mean, you know, in college, it was, you know, all the things, living in the house, spending time with friends, meeting boys, going to games, you know, going to school, forgot that part, we're all there to go to college, right? It's hard for them to sort of look into the future and see what I kind of see for them, which is this lifelong network of friendship and support and fun, right? And life, right? Doing life together. And I'm thrilled that is part of your life in this way. And I love that I see that everywhere I go with alumnae. And it's just, powerful. 

Now the thing I know about you is that you recently played a big role in getting some Cal Tri Deltas together for a reunion there on campus, so tell us all about it because it happened what happened in October? 

It was in October. 

How did it go?

So the idea kind of came out over a glass of wine where the best idea is. I was getting together with a friend named Diane. She was two years behind me in the house and you know we were friends during college but not super close but our daughters ended up being in the same class and playing on a lot of sports teams together. So then, you know, that supercharged our relationship. So anyway, we were getting together with wine catching up. And we just both felt like there were so many great women who we had gotten to know that we had lost track of and weren't keeping up with. And this idea of a reunion germinated, and I'm retired and have, you know, time. So I kind of said, you know, I'll, I'll lean into this and do a lot of the heavy lifting and we brainstormed on some next steps. And a couple weeks later, Diane calls me and said, “So how are those next steps going?” Oh, I haven't gotten to them. And anyway, that was the nudge I needed to get in gear. And I got four of the women, including Diane, one from each of five classes. And we were the committee, and we organized this thing. So then the event happened in October. 62 women came from all over the United States. One came from Paris. She lives in Paris now. And it was so amazing just seeing all these people and you may not see them every day, but you have all these shared experiences and things in common. And I did, I was hoping you were going to ask me about the reunion, 'cause I printed out, I got tons of feedback, I printed out a quote that someone sent me that I wanna read. “I think the whole weekend was affirming in so many ways for so many people, realizing that oh, so many years ago at 18, we all made a really great decision and that has withstood the test of time. to align ourselves in sisterhood with not only smart, ambitious, talented people, but really nice, kind, compassionate quality humans. It was amazing.” So, I feel like that was.

I love that so much. 

Isn’t that's great? And then my other favorite one was at the very end of someone's quote, she said, “I feel like a kid who didn't want. camp to end.”

That's perfect, that is perfect. 

That's how the weekend felt, it was just so much fun.

Oh, I love it, I'm so happy for you, I'm happy for everybody that came and reconnected in that way and that's what it's about, right? 

It really is, and you know, I even, one night, I ended up, getting into a conversation with a woman who I didn't know that well in school, and I now am her biggest fan, and we're texting back and forth, when are we going to see each other? Like, we just had so much in common, and she's just so delightful. And so it never ends, right? 

Oh, no. Lifelong, right? That's what we hope. So you mentioned in there that one of the reasons you took this on is, you know, you've retired, you've retired early and for a number of reasons, right? But in doing so, you've coined this term, retiriosity. 

Yes. 

Which I love so much. So will you share that with our listeners? What is this concept? And tell us how you've put it in play, which I think includes a lot of volunteering. 

Yeah, well, um, so I have a couple of friends who have retired. And I always felt like, wow, they've just been so organized about it and intentional. And, um, you know, I'm just going all over the place. wherever my curiosity takes me. A friend of mine, her dog will like chase after a squirrel over here and over there and she just goes squirrel. And that's kind of me with retirement. I'm like, all over the place. So I thought, I need to brand this so that it doesn't sound so, so squirrel. So I call it "retiriosity" but it really it's not as disorganized as it sounds. I just I'm always moving forward. The biggest part back to my pie are my family and friends and I spend a lot of time planning shared experiences. That's you know I started the hiking club. I did this. I did that. I planned trips and weekends and I really feel like shared experiences are what, you know, nurture relationships and move them forward. And now with my kids working and in different cities, it's the only way I can see them. I need to like get stuff on the calendar. So I'm doing a lot of that and then volunteering. And at first I was just dabbling in a lot of different things. So I've settled into like three different organizations that I spend my time on. And then learning, just random learning. My kids over Thanksgiving. I don't know, for some reason, physics came up, and maybe because I switched schools, I never took physics.

Oh, yeah, okay. 

In high school or college. And so my kids said, you know, why don't you take it now so I'm going to do an online course in January on physics.

How fun. 

I'm just doing random things. 

I think it's great, though, but I mean, I think keeping your mind active and learning new things, I think when we stop learning, we stop growing, and I'm not sure what happens when we stop growing. I know what happens to plants when we stop growing. So I mean, I really do believe that, and I love that you're taking a physics class from a girl who loved physics. I'm excited for you. 

Well, I may call you for help on my homework. (both laughing) 

It has been a minute, but I will see what I remember and I’m at your service. All right, so let's talk about Sarah Ida Shaw Award, right? So that's how you and I got to know each other. I got to go around the country, visit Sarah Ida Shaw Award winners, and I loved your story because mainly it's the most unique in terms of the way you found out you won,

and you got a call or a letter or both while you were on your way to Europe. So what did that look like? 

Yeah, well, I was, I was not on the airplane, but I was in, I think, either 36 to 48 hours before being on the airplane. And from what I remember, I graduated, moved out of the house, I was grading a professor's papers, so I pulled an all-nighter to do that. I had to buy a backpack, pack, and then get on the plane. So in that 36 to 48 hour period, I get the phone call. Yeah, it just it just took my legs out from under me. I don't remember that I knew I had been nominated. Like I knew what the award was 'cause I had been at Convention the previous year and I knew it was a big deal, but I was like, are you sure? Do you have the wrong person? Like, what is this? So anyway, I was told you need to write a speech, you need to deliver it at Convention, and I was just like, What? I'm leaving, I'm traveling with one friend for one month and then another friend for the next month. I have only enough money for this time away, non-refundable airplane, like I just couldn't get my head around it. So I called my alumna advisor, who was an amazing lady and a huge lifeline throughout college. And as it turned out right after college, and we talked about it and she's, “Calm down. You can write your speech while you're traveling. You can send it home with your first friend who coincidentally was the one who nominated me for the award.”

Oh, nice. Yeah.

So, and then ... the next chapter president who was my little sister in the sorority, she'll give it for you at Convention. So anyway, I always felt bad that I couldn't figure out how to make it work out but I heard Trish did a really good job. So it all worked out. 

But I have to laugh too, right? You actually had to write it and send it home, send it back here with somebody. 

Oh, it was, yeah. There was no such thing as email.

I mean, if we walk back in time, so this is 1988, right? The only way to get it there was to send it home from Europe with somebody that was coming back. 

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And the second friend, so I put the first friend on a bus to the airport, and then the second friend, before I had left like four weeks before we had this plan, we're gonna meet in the American Express office in downtown Athens at 2 p .m. that day. Like, there was no texting or …

No, and you couldn't change that plan 'cause there would be no way to communicate if the plan had changed. It is, I just think of our younger listeners listening and how foreign this concept sounds, but the kind of planning and execution involved in some of these things, right? And the fact that we couldn't Zoom in to Convention, you were there or not, right? So I love it. And I know that we did find some correspondence from you in Tri Delta’s archives and shared that with you, which I hope that was a fun walk down memory lane. 

Yeah, yeah. I was still apologizing. apologizing, I think. Like, oh, I'm so sorry. 

Well, so what did winning the Sarah Ida Shaw Award mean to you at the time? And then as you reflect back, how has it continued to show up and be part of your life?

Yeah. Well, like I said, I just, I didn't know it was coming or expect it. It was shocking, but so meaningful to receive recognition like that from your peers, and from the institution, the organization, right? Like, like, wow, especially when my peers and the institution had so much to do with my success. Like, you know, it wasn't me, it was all of us. And I don't know, it was, I couldn't get my head around it for the longest time. And, you know, as I reflected and it kind of percolated. I don't know, I think what it meant to me was, you know, there's certain things a leader needs to do: show up, do your best, you know, model good values, follow through. But I feel like the most important thing is like bring everyone along with you. Like, like I had a boss once who was like, you know, I'm not going over the finish line by myself. You know, we're all doing it together. And because I didn't feel like I was necessarily individually deserving of that award and that it was kind of a recognition for all of us, that really stuck with me. And I feel like in my subsequent leadership roles, whether it be in my job or on a project, or even in the community doing something. You know, it's all about like you can supply the infrastructure around something, but you've got to bring everybody along. And I don't know. 

I love that. I feel like you’re a product of the experience. And then you really as a leader helped shape the experience for others by bringing them along in your leadership. I mean, I just think.

That's all circular, right? 

It's so circular, right? For an organization defined by Deltas, we have lots of circles. I just, as I've gotten to know you and I think back on the time that was 1985, you’re the perfect example of Tri Delta. And bravely, I mean, hauling off and traveling to Europe, planning, right, itinerary plans, got it. Gonna meet you at the AmEx building on a certain date at two o 'clock. That's big stuff, right? It would be big stuff today, let alone 1985, and here you are in college and exploring the world, which I just think is phenomenal. Just, that's good. 

Life is good, right? 

Life is great in Tri Delta. Anything else you wanna share with our audience today?

Oh, I don't know, it's, like I said before, I truly, and I've said this to many of my friends, joining the sorority at Berkeley, at that time with those people was a sliding door moment for me and you know meeting my husband was another one and like both of them I think oh my like what would my life be like you know if those two things did not occur and you know it might have been fine but I don't want to go there. I just, I love how it turned out. And it's, I’m pinching myself. I just feel really fortunate and grateful for the experience. It was great. 

Well, we are grateful you are our sister. I'm grateful to have gotten to know you and to be getting a friendship. We found so much in common and so I'm happy to talk about. There will be more reunions at Cal. 

There absolutely will be, yes, there will be. 

I know you're gonna be behind them. I volunteered to be your agent when you write the book on "Retiriosity." 

Yes.

Such a cool concept. So, Lisa, thank you. Thank you for bringing you to Tri Delta and thank you for being on Let's Talk Tri Delta today.

Well, thank you for leading this amazing organization and it's a big job and you're doing a great job. So thank you on behalf of all of us.

You're very kind. It's an honor and a privilege. I mean that. So thank you so much and to our listeners out there. Are you a member of the LEADDD Network?

If you are not, it is. is Tri Delta's premier networking group. And now it's just $33 to join the LEADDD Network for all dues-paying members. And LEADDD Network is your ticket to connection and growth in Tri Delta, inspiring monthly sessions, keynote speakers, some coffee chats. You can find out more at TriDelta.org/ourmembers/LEADDD and we want you to save the date please for Tri Delta 's 61st Biennial Convention. It's Thursday, July 11th, through Sunday, July 14th, 2024 in magical Orlando, Florida. Details are on our website TriDelta.org/events and as always thank you for joining the Let’s Talk Tri Delta podcast. When you get a minute please like, subscribe, and rate our podcast. We love five-star ratings. Thanks so much for joining us today and until next time, Delta Love.