Let's Talk Tri Delta

Mom Band—This is Not a Midlife Crisis

Episode Summary

Meet Sarah Bills, Union, and Alison Hillhouse, Virginia—Tri Delta sisters, neighbors and co-founders of Mom Band, a group born in Alison’s garage who now play live shows and inspire women everywhere. In an episode hosted by Lexi Leggs, Millikin, they share how Tri Delta shaped their confidence and what it’s like to balance careers, kids and music, as well as the story behind their first single, “This Is Not a Midlife Crisis.”

Episode Notes

What happens when two Tri Delta sisters discover that they’re neighbors, both musically talented and both craving a creative outlet? You get Mom Band—a garage-born, all-woman powerhouse proving it’s never too late to chase your dreams.

Sarah Bills, Union, and Alison Hillhouse, Virginia, talk about everything from their college days and Tri Delta memories to balancing their day jobs with family life and music rehearsals.

You’ll hear how Mom Band came together, the inspiration behind their first single, “This Is Not a Midlife Crisis,” and how this journey has been a confidence-building adventure that inspires their kids—and everyone who sees them perform. Plus, Sarah and Alison share their favorite covers to play (yes, including Tri Delta favorites like “Closer to Fine”), their plans for the band’s future and why it’s okay to go after the things you’ve always dreamed of, no matter your age.


BONUS: The band’s dream is to play at The Bitter End in New York City. Listen to their single, post to social media and tag them @TheBitterEndNYC! Let’s see if we can go viral and make their dream come true!

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Episode Transcription

[Mom Band Transcript] 

This transcript was created using automated technologies and may contain errors.

 

Welcome back to our Let's Talk Tri Delta podcast. My name is Lexi Leggs and I am

Tri Delta's new chapter success manager for operations, which is a fancy title for

someone who supports our chapter officers and all things operations, whether it's

officer training and development, Slating and onboarding, and I also have the pleasure

of supervising our lovely team of chapter development consultants, but today I am

back and serving as your podcast host and I am so excited to be back here. When

Sarah Bills from our chapter at Union College and move next door to

Allison Hill House from our Beta Sigma chapter at the University of Virginia and

Sleepy Hollow New York, the two became fast friends. They discovered that they were

not only Tri Delta sisters, but that they were also both musically talented. Together

with four other local moms, they started the Mom Band in Allison's garage, proving

that it's never too late to pursue your dreams. And today we are so excited to

have Sarah and Allison here with us on the podcast to share a little bit about

your journey. So please help me to welcome them to the podcast. Welcome Sarah and

Allison. How are you all today? Thank you. - Happy to be here, thanks for having

us. - So it is so great to have a chance to talk to you all and learn a little

bit more about this band that you formed in your garage. We'll get back to a

little bit of that in just a second, but we actually wanna start off with your

journey. So talking about how you chose to attend the institutions that you did and

what brought you to Tri Delta. Would you share a little bit about those experiences?

- Sure, So I went to the University of Virginia. Who are you, by the way? Oh, I

need to start with my name. Just so you know what you're doing. Yes. Hi, I'm

Allison Hillhouse. I went to the University of Virginia. I'm originally from St.

Louis, and I think I chose UVA because it was a gorgeous campus. It was fun.

It was full of smart people, and it had an active Greek life, Greek life, which is

something that interested me. And I chose Tri Delta because when I went through

Rush, they were the girls who were the most down -to -earth, fun and funny. They had

a really good sense of humor, and that made me feel like that was the place I

wanted to call home. I love that. Yeah. Well, I'm Sarah Bills, so yes,

I grew up in Connecticut, and I chose Union College because It was a driving

distance from where I grew up and I wanted kind of a small liberal arts

environment. And so it was funny, Greek life really wasn't much on my radar,

but as soon as I got on campus, I saw how important it was to not only kind of

like the social scene, but also I saw all the great work they were doing kind of

as far as like philanthropy and just like being out and about on campus. And our

recruitment wasn't until sophomore warrior. So I actually got to know a lot of the

Tri Delta's as a freshman. And once I did, I knew that's exactly the house I wanted

to be in. Oh, I love that. Absolutely. I have this vintage cup from 1998 that I

brought out for the occasion from a Tri Delta sorority. So hopefully if any of my

sisters are watching, they will appreciate this. I love the memorabilia. Thank you so

much for sharing a little bit about your stories and What brought you to Tri Delta?

I think I love the most, Sarah, as that you shared that it wasn't something that

was really on your radar. I think I kind of also had a similar experience, but

seeing how big Tri Delta is in my life and now yours and seeing those connections,

it's just so-- so I'll inspire you just to see that come together in full circle

and see that lifetime engagement there. So let's talk about how you all met and

what it was like discovering that you had a shared to connection. Can you talk a

little bit about that? Well, so we met just right before the pandemic in the

streets of Sleepy Hollow, New York. We kept running into each other on walks, and

soon our kids became friends, and we're just practically next door neighbors from

each other.

And I don't know when we discovered that we were trying to assist each other. I

don't know, but as as we did it like made sense I was like oh okay this actually

because we had just like a connection off the bat and then we did when we found

out we're like oh of course like that totally makes sense so yeah absolutely I love

that and then so then how did you find out about the shared musical experience and

about your music backgrounds how did we get to that so I had studied like music in

college and I was in an acapella group for many years in New York City and I just

had always been looking for an outlet and so I think in one of the times that

we've been chatting just like watching our kids play in the streets she'd mentioned

she'd played guitar and I was like oh well I sing and I know Allison had always

had aspirations to be in a band so I think we just kind of started talking about

music in that way um and then I think you were the one who really had the idea.

When I first moved to the neighborhood so a little bit about my background in

guitar I learned to play acoustic guitar in college. And one of my first

performances was Pref, Prefs Night at, at In Tri Delta at UVA.

And we had this tradition. So I used to sit around and sing with my sorority

sisters all the time, I'd play guitar, and they'd sing because we like didn't have

cell phones, and we didn't have anything else to do. So that was kind of a hobby

of ours before we go out at night. And so for Prefs Night, there was a tradition

in our house of always performing like closer to fine by the Indigo Girls and

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac and just like having this really like emotional moment

with all the girls who were going through Rush. So that was where I started playing

guitar. I kind of let it slip for like a decade or so. And then when I moved out

to the suburbs from New York City, I was like, I'm gonna start a band. I've always

wanted to start a band. I'm gonna start a Mom Band. And I tried to recruit people

for like I don't know two years until I met Sarah and then I learned she could

actually sing and she wanted to do it and we like did like a little test run

where we went to her house like in like the depths of winter we were like hovered

by a fire like strumming on a guitar I was like really pretty mediocre guitar at

that point um I've improved a lot since then but we played for like I don't know

30 minutes and then I'm like - Okay, I think we can start a band. We know what

we're doing. - Yeah, exactly. So it's definitely like jumping in kind of, what's the

phrase, beat first? - Yeah, head first. - Head first, head first. - Head first, yeah.

- It's a lot, apparently. - Yeah. - So, but it was great. And I think for me too,

having had all that background and music, and I'd done like the evening division at

Juilliard when I was in the city, like I didn't have that outlet in Sleepy Hollow.

And so I was really hungry to like, you know, just be able to be participating in

music again. And this was a great way to do it, like in the community too, which

was really important to us. Yeah, absolutely. I definitely agree. And it's just

something about being able to get back to your passion and where you find yourself

connecting with those around you. And a fun fact, I really have to say, totally, I

was actually the music chair at Tri Delta, my junior year. So I was definitely

something that, you know, I really carried kind of throughout that journey. And it

was really fun to have that kind of foundation at Tri Delta. Then I think that was

something we also connected over. Yes, I love that music is so integral in Tri Delta.

I was looking through our archives and just seeing how far we've come. I mean, it

was so interwoven into our events, like convention and the convention choir and

things of that nature. So it's so cool to see how it's come. I don't know if you

all know, but we don't have a music chair anymore.

They can appoint them at the chapter once to select their own, but now it's just

kind of a part of one of the roles.

That's probably honestly what they might have is a TikTok coordinating chair,

honestly, but it makes sense. It's so cool to hear a little bit about Chara's

experience with music in the background. So Alice and you'd already shared that you

kind of tried to start to recruit to form a band prior to and then once you all

connected, we started to make the music together. Tell us about how you started to

form the band and gather other local moms to join. What was that like? Sure.

So after I found Sarah, we kind of put the word out. We found somebody in the

neighborhood who was like a classically trained pianist like played Mozart and she's

like, "Sure, I'll do it." And then we convinced two other women that we were

starting to become friends with that had never played the bass or never played the

drums before that they could learn. I like Google how to play the bass and I'm

like, "You can learn in six weeks, Alexia." So our friend learned in six weeks. She

had a violin background. So she'd had some like straight background but - Brand new

to the bass. - Yeah, and the drummer had never played an instrument, but she just

had good rhythm. And so we started these like adult music lessons where we all got

together to band and we had a coach who kind of helped us figure out how to play

songs together. And then a little bit later, we had our second singer join us.

We recruited her just to build out the band more.

I think we, at first we like really didn't know what we were doing. We had like a

show within a year, within a couple months, sorry, it was a couple months, we were

playing at like our local river club on the Hudson River. And I feel like we were

so nervous, we had no idea what we were doing, and we just got up there and did

it. And I think part of our motto is it's never too late in life to just like do

what you want to do and just to like get out there and do it. and don't let

perfect be the enemy of the good.

And we just did it. And what else about the forming of the band? - Yeah, I think

that was the big stuff. I will say, I think it's never too late.

And I will say the coolest thing now is like seeing other people who are watching

us play. And they're like, it's so amazing you did this. Like it's just kind of

gives, especially like women who, you know, we're in our 40s and, you know, we've

got kids and careers. It's definitely, I think, inspiring for them to see us and

say like, oh, they didn't know how to play, but they went and they just learned

that just gives people the confidence of like, you can still try something new. You

can still do something that puts you outside your comfort zone. It really is never

too late. - Yes, I love that. And I love how we're talking about, it doesn't need

to be perfect to start to. And I think that's, your story kind of has that perfect

land of kind of just going for it but also you were strategic in some ways right

like we weren't just relying on just the youtube videos you brought in a coach to

support you but also you just you went with what was passionate and I think that

speaks volumes on just anybody starting a project whether it's a band or anything

just going for it when you have that that even just the willpower to want to do

it even if you don't have all of the steps planned out you see the first step and

you just take it and I love how that's come to fruition for you all here. So we

first formed in March of 2022, you had your first performance in July of 2022,

which is a pretty quick turnaround, like you shared. Can you tell us a little bit

more about your journey to that first performance in Beyond, to see your performances

after that? - Oh, well, we've definitely evolved since then. So that was like kind

of like a friendly, it was like friends are just getting up there trying our best,

but now I guess we're three years later like we're but there's like a in Sleepy

Hollow where we live is obviously a really big Halloween community so we're like

headlining a really big street fair where we're gonna be performing for thousands of

people we've also had the experience of doing some fundraisers locally for the

performing arts in the Sleepy Hollow school district which has been really exciting

to kind of you know do something we love, but also gives back to the schools. But

then we've also just kind of done fun little things, like down at the local kind

of bar restaurant scene, just being able to play out and about. So it's really been

a mix, but it's exciting to have gone from kind of novices as a band to getting

paid to play some of these performances. - Absolutely, I love that, getting to that

professional status, absolutely. We've all been taking, I mean, not singers as much,

but all of us who are new to the instruments are just like evolving or have been

taking lessons to get to get better along the way. Yeah. Yeah. I love that.

Gotta perfect that craft. I absolutely agree with that. I'm also a musician by

trade. I should have told you all that as well as a high school choir teacher. So

I also studied music and undergrad. So I'm just like, if I understand, but

approaching a new instrument as an adult is already one thing, but to see how you

all have culminated that experience and allow folks to learn those new instruments

and now perform and do it at a professional level is so inspiring. So I think one

of the coolest things too is like when we do these performances like we'll perform

at our local farmers market and you see the kids like up front dancing and

especially you see like little girls and I think so often they're like oh I didn't

know I could be in a band. Like, I think it's like a really cool way to show

that like, not only is your mom, someone who's cool or someone who has like

interest in life of their own, but someone that it's like, oh, like, this is a

possibility, like I could do this. It's been fun to kind of see that, you know,

inspiring some of the younger generation too. - Yeah, it's a lot of little kids -

- It's a lot of little kids - - Through everyone. - A lot of little kids are like,

mom is my favorite band because we're the only band they've ever seen. So and we

play like a lot of songs from the radio, you know, they for Pink Pony Club or

like Appatay. And so it's kind of, you know, just we play a lot of like, big

covers that everyone knows and wants to sing in dance along to. Yeah, absolutely. It

sounds like a cool band. I have to come and check y 'all out at some point when

you're out about. Yeah, so I have to come out there and see you all. So,

of course, we've got the Mom Band, but you also have day jobs, so to speak. Can

you all tell us a little bit about what you will do full time? Sure, I can jump

in. So, I work in marketing, I work at HBO Max, the app.

I started when it was HBO, and I've been through the big evolution to streaming, so

it's been really exciting to be along for you know, that's also like a bit of a

creative outlet, obviously being able to talk about like the great shows that we're

bringing to life on HBO. But also, it's been really fun to have like my own

creative outlet outside. So it's, you know, it's, it's, it's a busy job.

It's a big job, but I love it. And I feel like this is nice to have separate and

apart. So I can focus on that. But I have another outlet, I know that's coming

like with the band that I know that, okay, if it's been a big week, I know I've

got the band to look forward to. Yeah, absolutely. I love that. Allison? Yeah,

so I worked in, I'm a freelancer right now, and my background is in consumer

insights and culture and trends. So I write culture and trends reports for content

providers. So I could be writing about Gen Z and some like bigger thoughts about

like the generation or I could be writing about, you know, TikTok trends. It's kind

of a mix of interesting things that can feed into like show development. And I've

found that, yeah, it's just great to have this as a balance in life. And I look

forward to it every week and I'm like chronically late for everything except for Mom

Band. Like make my husband put the kids to bed and I'm like running out the door

to band because I'm so excited to do it. I love that that it's just that it still

gives that excitement and that creativity too, right? It keeps that passion going for

you all. How would you say that your journey with Mom Band has inspired you either

personally or professionally or even both? Yeah, I think it's been a big confidence

builder. You know, I think it's funny where I was like, was we we were reflecting

about Tri Delta and everything. I feel like us, from the beginning, be able to just

get out there and try something new really speaks the fact that we're all really

confident people. We still have fears and anxieties like anyone else, but I also

think having had that foundation too at Tri Delta, I actually think that was really

important to build that foundation of community and support and confidence. I actually

was the president of our chapter of my last year. So I think like just those

leadership skills and all of that really fit into, you know, now with the band,

feeling like we can get up on stages that seem scary, but I do feel like it's

inspired me to continue to push myself to see like what else I can do. So like I

said, it's also been great to see how it inspires others. So it's kind of It's

been great. - Yeah. I love that. - Allison? - I kind of echo all of that. That's

kind of what it was like too. Yeah, it's given me a lot of confidence that I can

do anything. - And trying out. - I like that it like shows my kids too that you

can just get out there and do something that you want, start something you want to

do. - Well, and resiliency too, because there's definitely some performances. I'll go

up the stage and I was like, ooh, I did not sound good on that song. Or I messed

up that part or whatever and you know you get in your head and you get critical

and it's a good way to be like you know what like I did my best I have some

learnings I'll take those learnings and I'll apply those learnings um and then the

next time you go in feeling even more confident so I think it's a good exercise

and like picking yourself back up too because we're never going to be perfect every

every show and it has you tend to magnify your mistakes and then your friends

you've seen this show are like, what? You said it great. Didn't notice the things.

So it's a good lesson and just like not being so hard on yourself because nobody

else is. - Yes, yes. I think as musicians we can often be our own worst critics.

I mean, women, musicians, people honestly can be. So I love how this has instilled

so much confidence in you and the people around you too as well. I think it's

great. So getting a little bit back more into the band, you all released your first

single, This Is Not A Midlife Crisis. Can you tell us about the inspiration behind

your song, its message? And what was the process like for releasing it? Sure.

So This Is Not A Midlife Crisis is available on all major streaming platforms like

Spotify and Apple Music.

So I don't know, we all were kind of hovering around writing songs. And then I

just had this line that kept sticking in sticking in my head, this is not a

midlife crisis. And I guess it's kind of obviously about starting a ban.

This is not a midlife crisis. But anything in life that you're doing or seizing or

deciding that you want to do midlife is just part of your journey. And it's

realizing the dreams that you've always had and that you should just go for it and

not worry about what other people think and it's um kind of a little tongue -in

-cheek like this is not a midlife crisis and we have one line in it that's like uh

I like I don't feel that too like um I don't it's my I don't give a 40 something

era which is you know kind of tongue -in -cheek, but it's like, I'm 40, and I'm

just doing what I wanna do and living life. - Yeah, and it was Allison's brainchild.

So she wrote it and it was fun to like work on arrangements for it. And then to

really get into a studio, like something really done, like I had done some acapella

recording, which was a very different experience than doing it with a band. So I

think it was just exciting for us to like, again, check another new thing kind of

off the list, but get into a room and like, get more experimental and have fun

with it. And then to hear it come together and then to hear, like, I don't know,

again, people just like it bringing them such joy, like kids were saying, that's my

favorite song, or my kids be like, Alexa, play this is not a midlife crisis.

Like, it's really fun just to like have it out in the world. And, you know, just

if nothing else like have it be like a little snapshot in time for all of us

where this has meant so much and it's just fun to be able to share it with others

who might be able to relate. Yeah, that sounds like it's such a rewarding experience

and you've got so many fans already playing your jams out so that's really cool to

hear how you all develop that and gotten to the studio with it as well. So, Sarah,

you kind of already started to allude to this, and one of your answers earlier

about some of the skills that you would gain through Tri Delta and how that would

set you up to this point. But I wonder if you all would want to kind of elaborate

just a little bit more about what else did Tri Delta teach you that you're still

using today in your careers and in the band? Yeah, so we talked a lot about

confidence, that was definitely one. I think also being able to like just navigate

kind of collaboration, like there's a big group of women who have very diverse ideas

and viewpoints. And like, again, we're trying, these are people that we really looked

up to and we're very bright and smart. So just how do we use all of that, you

know, harness all these different opinions to find like a common path together. So I

think that especially in business is so important. Like how can you make sure you're

listening, taking feedback, making informed decisions that are going to benefit like

the greater organization. That's I use that every day. So I think I really kind of

flex those muscles back in Tri Delta. You know, conflict resolution, you know,

being able to work through some of those tougher moments. But that prepares you for

life because that's exactly what you're doing on the day to day. So I'd say those

are probably my biggest examples. Yeah, I mean, I think you said all mine,

I was kind of shy in high school and I think like being in the sorority really

kind of helped build my confidence and I was the VP of finance and treasure I

don't know it's in all these like financial roles because it's in business school.

And I think like that just gave me a lot of confidence to be able to manage like

the budget of the house and I sat on the committee where we manage conflicts and

talked through situations and and our vision and our plans and all those things like

really translated into business. Yeah absolutely thank you so much for sharing and

for our listeners out there especially our collegiate listeners you're hearing here

how important it is to develop those skills of compromise and collaboration and

confidence in the experiences that you're having in your collegiate experience because

you never know you might end up using them later on down the line. So what is

next for the Mom Band. What do we have in the horizon for the group? - Madison

Square Garden. No, I feel like, you know, gotta think bae, but I don't know,

for me, I think it's been fun to just have like a cadence of performances coming

up, but it would be great to record more songs to have like a full EP would be

really cool. 'Cause I think there's some like, you know, competitions that exist

locally or in New York City, that would be fun just to like, you know, enter in

and see if we can build our audience. But, you know, it's just fun to continuously

have that kind of like, potential gigs coming down the pike.

So I think we've got some venues we've got our eye on. And I don't know, for me,

that's, that's what I'd like to focus on. We really want to play in New York City.

I know, I think it would be, yeah. Yeah, a dream spot would be New York City. Any

specific venue or just in the city? Just, there's a very famous place that I feel

like we should play at called The Bitter End. That's, you know, it's a smaller

venue, but like, you know, back old folk singers saying there, Lady Gaga is saying

there when she was really up and coming. So I do feel like that would be a really

fun. So, you know, if you're You can put us there, we're available,

but it'll be fun. So I think we're also figuring out the best way to package up

kind of Mom Band, like all the materials and everything so that we can have like a

proper pitch to all the different venues. Yeah, as we continue to play around with

this. - Yeah, absolutely. Well, I know we've got some resources here. I'm not gonna

put my colleagues up on the spot, but I know we've got some amazing folks over at

Brandon Vance. I might be able to help you market yourselves a little bit more.

Where can our listeners find you if they want to listen to your music? I know you

said that this is not a mid -life crisis, it's on all streaming platforms. But where

else can they find you if they want to get connected or just follow along with

what you all have going on with the Mom Band? - I think you could follow us

@themomband on Instagram. That's probably the best place. And there's like also a

link tree where you can get to all of the different streaming platforms. You know,

we got to build into TikTok. That's aspirational. We're on our way again. We're in

our 40s. So, you know, we're figuring that out. But I do think there's, you know,

we're gonna hopefully get some more content. Like we said, we're a big Halloween

town, we have a bunch of shows coming up. So we'll continue to kind of put clips

from the shows out there.

- Yeah, exactly how you would think it's spelled. Very simple, very easy. Awesome.

Well, thank you so much, Sarah and Allison. It has been great learning a little bit

about you all's journey to found the Mom Band, to instill confidence in yourselves,

the women around you, and instilling confidence back in our Tri Delta Sisters and

bringing some of the lessons that you've learned in Tri Delta along the way. It has

been so inspiring to hear from you all today. It's just fun to hang out and chat

a little bit. I want to thank her. Yes, of course. Thank you. I want to thank all

of our listeners today for tuning in today. Are you connected to Tri Delta? Do you

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