Join Tri Delta CEO Mindy Tucker, Southern Methodist, as she sits down with Dr. Heather Dettro Felton, Kentucky—a dedicated pediatrician, author and social media advocate. Heather is a full-time pediatrician with Norton Healthcare, an associate professor at the University of Louisville School of Medicine, a published author and a trusted voice on social media, where she helps parents navigate health and safety in the digital age.
Heather shares her journey from Tri Delta roots to balancing a full-time medical career with raising three daughters, all while offering practical advice for keeping kids safe, healthy and happy—both online and off.
Heather is passionate about providing practical guidance for families—whether it’s online safety, screen time management or everyday parenting challenges. As a Child Passenger Safety Technician, she’s also committed to physical safety and advocating for children in all aspects of life. With her warm, down-to-earth approach, Heather breaks down complex health information into advice that’s easy to understand and implement.
Whether you’re a parent, a caregiver or just curious about how kids use social media, this conversation is full of practical tips, thoughtful reflections and inspiration.
[From Tri Delta to TikTok: Pediatrician Heather Felton on Parenting and Social Media]
This transcript was created using automated technologies and may contain errors.
Welcome back to another episode of our Let's Talk Tri Delta podcast. I'm Mindy Tucker,
and I get to serve as Tri Delta CEO, a job that I love. And one of the reasons I
love it is because I get to do these podcasts with these amazing guests. Today, I'm
really excited to be joined by Dr. Heather Dettro Felton from our Delta Road chapter
at the University of Kentucky. That's why I'm thrilled to welcome her. She is a
pediatrician, social media influencer, published author. Her work has been featured in
Parents.com and throughout the National Institutes of Health at the NIH, you may
know her from TikTok where she helps fight health misinformation in a way that's
easy to understand and digest. I can't wait to dig into that. She is a full-time
pediatrician with Norton Healthcare and an associate professor at the University of
Louisville School of Medicine. I don't know how she has time to do anything else.
So far, I'm tired. She's got a lot going on. At Louisville, she's helping to
educate the next generation of physicians, which I think is really cool as a legacy
for her. We're also going to talk about being a mom. She is raising kids who were
preteens during the pandemic and dealing with the risk of social media. And I know
how tricky this can be to navigate as a parent screens and online sharing and all
that kind of stuff. So I'm really excited to dig in with her today about her roots
and being a doctor, all of this online stuff that we're dealing with and just
balancing all of it as a parent and a working parent at that. So Heather, welcome
to the podcast. Thank you. Thank you. It's so fun to be here. Yeah, I'm excited to
kind of dig in. I always like to start with your Tri Delta story. So how did you
end up at the University of Kentucky and what really drew you to Tri Delta there?
So, I went to high school in Western Kentucky, and I was interested in staying in
state. I had friends, close friends who were going to UK. And then family who were
in Greek life. Like it was something I had always kind of assumed that I wanted to
do. And so went through Rush. I had a couple of friends who were in Tri Delta.
And the chapter really stood out to me. It's a beautiful chapter with lots of
really great young women. I found a home there. I found lots of care and support.
And so, I really enjoyed my time at tried out there. Awesome.
What year did you join the chapter? I joined, I think it was 2003.
I joined as a sophomore.
And so, I think it was 2003. And then I was class of 2006. Okay.
So, you served as the technology chair for your chapter. And I'm trying to think
back to like 2003. Where were we in terms of like social media land and all that?
What was that like at that particular time? I think I think I was the first
technology chair. I think it was a new office that they made. And my original job
was to either to build or to like edit our chapter website.
Facebook, I think, came to the University of Kentucky in 2004. Okay. Because back in
the day, it was, you had to have a college email address to join Facebook.
Right. And it was only certain colleges. Like, it rolled out slowly.
And so, I remember when it came to UK, and so you could only make your personal
profile, there wasn't an organization, like Tri Delta didn't have a page on Facebook and
there was no Instagram or anything like that. Yeah. Wow. That's so crazy to think
back to that time. And now we're in a different world. It was a very different
world. How did Tri Delta to sort of prepare you or compliment what you were doing.
I guess you were pre-med at that point. You knew you were going to medical school.
Like how to try it out to play into sort of preparing you or supporting you
through that? I think it is, it was such a big part for me,
especially in two different ways when I think back on it. I think one that every
class that I had, there was another tried out there or somebody who had taken it
before. I had a mentor. I had a study buddy. I had somebody there who could
support me academically. I had alumni who were pre-med or going to medical school
or studying for the MCAT, but there's always somebody to go to ask advice for.
But also, even if you're choosing a rigorous program, that can't be the only thing
that you do, you're going to go crazy. And so, there was an outlet to you know,
decorate the house or go to a game or just hang out with friends. And you have to
have that as part of a well-balanced life. Otherwise, it's going to be so stressful
and chaotic all the time. And I think that there was this support academically where
I needed it, but also an outlet when I needed a break. Yeah, that makes sense.
I think people don't really, I think sometimes you can't get down that rabbit hole
of like, I'm doing this and I'm so focused on this. And I think it's one of the
beautiful things that sorority experience brings you. We support the academics and the
leadership training, but also the friendship and the social opportunities as well. And
exactly, that balance is really important. I think you're right. So, you step into
this career. What led you to pediatrics? How did this end up being your specialty?
My dad was a family medicine physician. And so, I went into medical school kind of
thinking that I was going to do some kind of primary care, something where I was
going to work in a clinic and people were going to come to me and I was going to
grow with them. That was always my thought. And so family medicine was high on my
list. it always kept coming back to kids every single rotation that I did in
medical school I was always looking for the opportunity to care for children and
there are lots of different ways that you can do that but I think that for me it
was just if that's really what I'm looking for all the time then why not just do
kids it's a it's a lot more fun I think the medicine is really interesting because,
you know, taking care of an infant and an 18 year old are very different things.
And even not just like socially in the way that we would think about them, but
even their physiology and how their bodies work is different. And I always thought
that that was fascinating too. Yeah. It is so interesting to have to think about
it. It's a different kind of human. It's just give them the Advil or the title of
it. Like you're right. Yeah. Go into these growing bodies and I have two kids.
And I've been through all kinds of things with them medically. And so, it's just
interesting how they,
how the growth spurts, how the growth part of what they're going through is so
makes their care so different. Yes. And what they're able to mentally handle and how
they're going to cope with each challenge is very different as they age. and the
family dynamics I'll play a part of it. But I really love not just having like
this one individual patient, but it is this family, but I really thrive in that.
And I love, you know, seeing a family and asking how their siblings are and really
getting to know so many different people. It's a great way to build relationships.
And I really love that. I love that for you. How do you balance? I mean,
it feels like a pretty demanding career. How do you balance that with raising three
kids? I mean, I guess pediatrics and being a mom, they go,
they compliment each other. I often will joke that like my, my doctor brain and my
mom brain and the way that I think about my children, like they don't talk to each
other. I have very bad medical judgment when it comes to my own children. Like the
common children have no shoes always yes but i do i do think in some ways they
complement each other and I can I can set boundaries and say like this this is my
family time and I'm going to protect that and this is for me and for us over here
and it's different for my career and but when I'm there I'm going to be a hundred
percent there and so I think that that's kind of the way that my personality works
where I can section things off to give the most attention to where I need to at
the moment. Yeah, that's smart. I think trying to do all in the moment doesn't
work, trying to juggle too much at the same time. But if you can coordinate off,
that is helpful. So, let's get into this parenting stuff,
which is not for the faint of heart, as we know tell me about your kids. They're
ages. You have three. Three girls. Okay. They are seven,
nine, and twelve.
So very different ages and different challenges.
I try certainly to follow my own advice. I give myself grace and I give my
family's grace too because there's kind of this idea of what is perfect and what
we're striving for. And then there is, I did the best that I could do today.
That is just fine. That's what we could do today. And we didn't eat all of our
vegetables and it will be fine. We'll try again tomorrow or whatever the challenge
is. But grace is super important, I think. So, I have two boys. They're now 14 and
17. I have no idea how we got here and they're both taller than me and I don't
know how this happens um I mean I do know how it happens but I just don't know
how this happens so fast so fast yeah but I resonate it resonates with me to
hear this like this idea of grace and um the idea that you make what like you
don't get everything perfect one day that doesn't matter the next day you get to
start over and you get to beating ourselves up over the one thing we didn't get
right. I think it was something we do as parents. And that grace. I see a lot of
parents who put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect all of the time.
And I'm very quick to say, I want you to be okay with not being perfect all of
the time. And nobody is. Like that, that I think is the biggest secret and getting
to talk with families in a little exam room all the time, the things that they're
concerned about and the things that they've done, and knowing that there's not a
single person out there who is perfect, no, even if they look like they have it
all put together, they don't. And trying to compare yourself to somebody else isn't
going to be healthy for anyone. And so, we can just, we can accept that and say,
I will do my best next time. And that's going to be okay. And I think, you know,
we haven't gotten into the social media piece of this, but I think that's so much
a part of it, because we see everyone else's best moments. Yeah. On social media.
Yeah, very curated view. Yeah. Exactly what they wanted you to see. And those will
hit right when you're living your worst moment in life. moment in life, I think.
That is really hard to do the comparison. And I always love that phrase comparison
is the thief of joy. Yes, it is. I mean, it is. And I really don't want people
to compare one sibling to another. They're two different kids,
your family to somebody else's, your, your motherhood or parenthood journey to
somebody else's is all going to look very different and it's going to change day to
day. Yeah. I've also learned, just in talking to people, I think everyone else is
struggling to. We're all, like, none of it is perfect and all that. And the more
you talk and share with each other, I think you learn just how, what other
challenges people are running into and how common what your experience experiences.
Yes. There's a lot more support for it when you're open about it. And I think if
you are looking for support, then being vulnerable in that way is a good way to
find other people to say, I'm going through the exact same thing with my kids.
I'm finding the exact same challenges. and you'll find that you're not alone.
Was there any parenting advice that you used to give before you had kids that
changed once you had kids? I think that the biggest thing, I remember like talking
to parents about like babies, like especially like colicky infants or gassy infants
or babies with reflux and, you know, being so exhausted and going through medical
school and residency and thinking that I knew what exhaustion was, and it is
absolutely exhausting. But I had a baby after all of my training was complete and
nothing compared to having a newborn. I really thought back and thought, I can't
believe I ever said that to a parent about what to do when baby wouldn't stop
crying when they were inconsolable, when you were so exhausted and frustrated
yourself, it's really an experience that until you like walk in those shoes,
it's so hard to appreciate what they're experiencing in that moment. And it's so
easy to also forget what it was like when you were there. I've done it three times
now. And thinking back on it, it's hard to sometimes remember exactly just how hard
it was. But I like to give lots of grace to families who are in it and who,
especially the ones who are experiencing it for the first time and really had no
idea what it was going to be like to take care of a newborn right after you
yourself just had a baby and how challenging all of that is. Yeah. I always find
myself when I see, I travel a lot. So, I see a mom in the airport with it with a
child throwing a huge I just want to be like mom you got this it's okay you know
they're feeling so self-conscious and so many of those moments where um I think
once you've been through it you're way more compassionate about what yes definitely
well let's talk a little bit about technology and social media and safety um what
prompted you to start sharing online around social media presence and safety and what
really got you started in this? I have been on social media personally,
probably since 2004, like in college, but I made my first professional account during
the pandemic. And it just felt like there was so, there were so many things that
were confusing for so many people that I thought, I do have something important to
say about all of these different things that are happening. And part of my job is
not just seeing patients, but I teach medical students and pediatric residents. I
thought, I bet I would be a good person who could explain some of this because
it's part of what I do. And so, you know, it's one little step at a time.
You make a couple of posts, a couple of videos, and you find out what works and
what resonates. And I just kept continuing it and building this,
I think, professional portfolio of medical information that's searchable across
different platforms. And now it's something that it's kind of a,
I won't say well-oiled machine. I will say it's something that I can do much
easier than I did at the beginning because I've gotten better at it. Yeah.
So what are some of your tips for keeping our kids safe online? I think postponing
is probably the biggest thing, like waiting until they really are old enough and
mature enough. And I think that's one of the pressures that's so hard to deal with
because a lot of kids will get phones early or get a social media presence early.
But then I think also realizing that you wouldn't give your kid a driver's license
and then just say like, well, good luck. You'd want to go out and drive with them
and give them tips and talk to them about it. And I think that the same is true
for social media, that you should watch videos together. I do that with my daughter
now, my oldest. And we talk about, well, why do we think that this is fake?
Why might this not be real? Maybe they're acting it out. Maybe it's AI. Let's read
through some of the comments together and see what that is like. And we can talk
about, like, is this nice? Was that kind? What would you do if somebody left a
comment like that? And they were talking about you, all of these different things.
And, you know, I at least had the privilege of getting into social media when I
was already technically in an adult. But they're diving right into it at their teen
years, their middle school years. And I think that that would be so much more
challenging and confusing, especially in this space where if it's online,
it lives there somewhere forever. That's what I tell my patients and what I tell my
kids. And so, I think they need some guidance. They don't grow up intuitively knowing
anything about what is already there or how it could affect them in the future.
Yeah, these are good. I've obviously two boys that this is where they want to live.
And it's been so interesting to navigate, I think, and try to figure out how to
navigate with them. And some of the connections I have with them are actually
through, like, my oldest and I both love Formula One. And we trade a lot of
Instagram videos about Formula. But it's kind of become like one of our connection
points, too, in a nice way. I think it can be positive. I think it can be too.
But like you said, there's just so many ways that could go wrong too. And right
out there that you're just not able to control what they see and how they see it.
So. Yeah. So, I mean, I do you know, recommend using some of the parental controls
when you can. But you have to it like it won't be perfect all of the time. And
so, I think also talking about like what you might see and why going through their
feed with them and seeing what it is that they like let them drive. Let them
scroll and figure out. But then if you do come across something, you do have the
opportunity in the moment to talk about it. And they want to show you. I think
that's a connection point sitting down with them to do it. They you. And it's
absolutely. And so, yeah. Let's go a little bit beyond digital safety and talk about
physical safety, which I know is also for you. You are a child passenger safety
technician. I want to know what that is. I have,
it's, it, I can install and inspect car seats. Okay. Certification in car seat
training. Okay. All right.
What do you think are the most common car seat safety mistakes that people make?
I think the most common ones are actually the ones for the bigger kids. I think
people move their kids up through the different car seats too soon. We get a lot
of education about infants and their infant carrier car seats, the rear -facing car
seats. And then I think that you're several years down the road and you think,
I'm an experienced parent now. I know what I'm doing. And so, we move them into a
forward -facing car seat or a booster seat. And I think very commonly out of a
booster seat way too soon, kids need to be four -foot -nine and between 80 or 100
pounds. There's actually a longer like five point checklist to meet,
to be able to move out of a booster seat and into a seatbelt. But my, my oldest
just recently got out of a booster seat this past summer. She was 11 at the time.
But for me, I wanted her to stay there to be safe for as long as possible, as
long as she needed it. And I know, we're all so right. I mean, the day you get
rid of the car seats. It's like freedom. It's like getting out. Yes. You know, like
you're so ready. Yes. But I think you're right to not to rush that and to pay
attention to the rules on that.
So, I think we could probably talk about this safety stuff and the digital and all
that stuff like all day long. And I wish we could. I find other ways to get you
talking to our members. I love it. I can do that too. Yeah. Well, and I have it
on my social media pages so they can certainly, like I talk about all of these
kinds of things. So, there is an activity. Go ahead. You brought it up. So, let's go
ahead. You want to share where people can find you online and then we'll talk a
little bit more about Tri Delta and how. Yep. I am at Heather Felton MD across all
of my different platforms. I'm most active on TikTok and Instagram, but you may find
me on, like, YouTube and things. I just don't post there as often. Yeah. Okay.
Well, I hope our listeners will check it out and go find you. It sounds like
there's a lot of good tips and tricks there, not even tricks, just tips. I'm a
general pediatrician, so I talk about a very wide variety of different topics.
Yeah. Okay. How does Tri Delta to show up in your life today? I mean,
I still have, especially through social media, like keeping in touch with,
you know, girls, women who I was in my sorority with. And then,
you know, in my community, there, there isn't a chapter at the University of
Louisville, but there is an alumni chapter. So, you can still make connections with
alumni across the country who now live in Louisville and just panhellenic women as
well who experienced Greek life. I was actually talking to somebody about it very
recently who had gone to U of L. So it wasn't a child chapter.
We were in different chapters. But It was just, it's fun and it's like a connection
point to, you know, bring up conversation to talk about and share your experiences.
Yeah. I think you're right. I think there's, when you've gone through the experience
at the collegiate level,
you do find commonalities, not only with your Tri Delta sisters, but with your
Panolinic sisters as well as you meet them and step into the world with them. And
I think we're all part of a really important experience that uh set you up for the
rest of your life I don't know about you but i find my you know my friendships
and tried out to have evolved over time um based on whatever season or stage of
life I'm in and you know even with the chapter sister is at different points in
different ways I'm sure you've seen that play out as well yep Absolutely. And I had
a couple who moved to Louisville around the same time that I did,
others that have moved away. But you still have those connections. And I do really
appreciate still getting to keep in touch, even if it's just like waiting for a
Christmas card to come in the mail. Yeah. It's that time of year right now as
we're talking. I know this is going to air in January, I it's just we have all
kinds of different ways we keep up with our our sisters and um I think it's it's
it's fun to watch those relationships grow yeah over the years well I can't thank
you enough for joining us it's been fun to talk to you and um to learn a little
bit about what you do and um how to uh keep our kids safe and uh I think it's
just such an important topic and as a fellow parent Thanks for putting yourself out
there and sharing all of the wisdom and experience with all of the rest of us. And
so I hope everybody will check out her social media and see what she's got going
there, especially if you're a parent. I've got a new Tri Delta friend who will help
you navigate all those challenges. So, thanks for being with us and sharing everything
with us today. Thank you so much. I really have fun. Yeah. So, for our members out
there, I hope you'll check out Heather online, Dr. Heather. Don't want to diminish
that at all, the accomplishment of getting there. We're so proud to have you in our
sisterhood. So, check her out online, get some tips from her on parenting and keeping
our kids safe, especially online, something we're all worried about on a regular
basis. This is airing in January. And in January, our registration for convention.
We'll be hitting the presses. You'll find it online. So, stay tuned. Our convention
is being held in Denver at the Gaylord Rockies from June 26th through June 29th.
And we hope as many of you as possible will join us there. We love it when you
like, subscribe and rate our podcast. We have three stars in our Crescent, but we
love those five -star ratings. So, bring it on. Thanks for joining us today. And
until next time, Delta Love.