Tri Delta’s CEO Mindy Tucker, Southern Methodist, sits down with Shafonne Myers, an entrepreneur, speaker, podcast host and newly initiated Tri Delta alumna who has built her career creating greater visibility and inclusion in the plus-size bridal space. Shafonne shares her journey to Tri Delta, along with the values of belonging and connection that shape both her life and work.
As the founder of Pretty Pear Bride (a plus-size bridal magazine and platform) and an advocate for visibility, inclusion and belonging, Shafonne has built her career around creating space for women to show up as their full selves. She later expanded her work by acquiring Aisle Society, a collective of wedding publications, while continuing to help women build brands, businesses and lives that reflect who they truly are. Now, she’s bringing those same values to Tri Delta as an alumna initiate.
She opens up about her entrepreneurial journey, her work expanding visibility in the wedding industry, raising a family, the myth of “balance” and what comes next with her newest venture, “Call Me Married.” At the heart of it all is her belief that everyone deserves to feel seen, valued and like they belong.
Find her on social media: @ShafonneMyers
[From “I Do” to Tri Delta With Shafonne Myers]
This transcript was created using automated technologies and may contain errors.
Hello, Deltas. Welcome back to another episode of our Let's Talk Tri Delta podcast. I'm Mindy Tucker. I'm from our Theta Kappa chapter at SMU, and I have the great honor of being Tri Delta CEO, which means really I get to interview all of these amazing people on the podcast regularly.
Today is not going to be any different. At Tri Delta, we believe that every woman deserves to feel seen, valued, and like she belongs. And that's why the conversation around Inclusion, confidence, and celebrating every woman's story really matters a lot to us. Today's guest has built an entire career around that idea. I'm excited to talk to Shafonne Myers of our Alabama chapter. She's an entrepreneur, a speaker, podcast host. She founded the world's first wedding platform for plus-size brides, Pretty Pear Bride. I love that name. She later expanded that vision by acquiring Aisle Society, which is a collective of wedding publications serving couples around the world and continues to help build women's brands and businesses that really. reflect who they truly are.
And I love how that dovetails so nicely with Tri Delta and our values and what we do here. And as a recent bride, I have a lot. I know I'm going to contribute to this conversation. It's going to be a fun convo. Shafonne, I'm so glad you're here. Thanks for joining us on the podcast. I'm so excited.
Thank you so much. I know. And literally hearing the words inclusion, confidence and celebrating every woman. I was like, yes. Oh my gosh. This is why these are my people. Yes. I'm so excited. I think we are, we, we are each other's people, sisters in the best way.
So let's, I love to start every podcast interview with take me back to your Tri Delta journey.
First, I should say welcome because you are an alumna initiate. I love that. You were just initiated at convention in June, which I think is so fun. So many people are learning more about that and seeing. How that works. So this will be a great opportunity for you to say, hey, here's how it worked for me. And here's how I ended up doing that. I think it's so crazy because when I went in my sponsor, Dana, that she's at University of Alabama.
And so I walked in and she's like, are you OK? I was like, no, I'm extremely emotional because these are my like literally I walked in and I was like, I have found my people. And it is just because. Being from the outside, being a little older, it was. It was hard to walk in.
Everyone kind of had all their connections. And even before walking in just to the hotel, I could see. I was like, oh, they're probably with it. Oh, they're probably with it. But I felt included instantly. I really, really did. And I think coming in as an alumna, that's so encouraging because I don't have the stories from college. I have stories from college, but not stories of a sorority.
And so that was very powerful for me. Yeah. How did you find out about Tri Delta? How did you learn about it and decide it was something you wanted to do? Well, Dana and I, like I said, we work together and she runs the Parent Advisory Council at University of Alabama. I should say Dana is Dana Becker. She's a member of our foundation board right now and a longtime Tri Delta. Yes. Yes.
So we had been working and we were on a call one day after we had been talking about business stuff. And so she was like, hey, can I ask you a question? I was like, of course, Dana, like anything. And so she was like, did you ever pledge? Are you in a sorority? And I kind of gave her the story. to an all-female college and so i loved it but we weren't they didn't have sororities on campus because we were already all-female college so you had an option of going to a neighboring school i could have been to like uva i could have gone to gmu and actually like pledge there but i just didn't um so when she asked i was like oh You do that?
Like, you just don't think about it as an adult that you can come in and kind of join a sorority after the fact. And so when she told me, I was like, yeah, send me the information. Looked at it, fell in love. She was like, are you sure it's not rushed? Conventions in a few weeks. I was like, let's do it. We're going. We're going all in. And so that's kind of how I found it. And it was instantly, I loved it. And everything she talked about it. I love it. I love it. I do think there's, the collegiate experience is unique and wonderful. And it's a great part of the experience. But I often tell people it's, it's not just that it's so much more. There's this whole alumni experience. And I think when you share values and you share what we share and Tri Delta, it doesn't, it transcends the collegiate experience. It's not just about those four years. And so I think you're a great example of how you just came in and felt that belonging right away. And it was like, it's kind of scary. My husband's like, are you good? Are you okay? I was like, I am drinking the Kool-Aid, but I like it.
But it was, it was so good. And you really just felt welcomed instantly. I really did. Good.
I'm really glad to hear that. So how did you get into the wedding space?
Ooh, this is always, and it blows people's minds. So I found the wedding space in college.
So I am a biology major. Super crazy. I love science.
I remember being in college and everyone's like you're the most fun science person ever.
It was like, yeah, I'm playing on the party. People are fun too, right? Yes. And I was like, no, we're all fun. But it was always like, Shafonne's going to be the one. Like, where's the party? Who's planning the party? What's going on? But that was me. And so I eventually, even with a science background, I ended up being the person in charge of the social organization on campus.
So I was the person in charge of all the social events. I was over top of all the little social committees. And that's how I found events. And then that. translated into weddings once I graduated. And so then like, I went on to be a teacher. I was a science teacher. I was a hematologist. I worked in the medical field. Like it was so much stuff that I did, but at the same time, I always had weddings. I always would like kind of love that event planning. And then I became a wedding planner. Okay. And then pretty pear bride, how did that come about out of the events?
So that came because as a planner, I was like, Hey,
I'm getting a lot of, plus size and curvy broads and i was like wow this is really interesting and i was like why one because it was not like advertised like that it was just advertised as being a planner i had a lot of my um sisters from school and stuff and so it's like i just started getting i was like wow Even when I was planning my wedding, I did feel very not seen. And then having clients really tell me they gravitated to me, not just because my skills were amazing, but because they saw themselves and they wanted someone who got them and understood them and saw them. And so that's where it kind of translated from wedding planning to creating this publication.
And I remember talking about my wedding and all the insecurities that I had and all the things that were going on. And then it was like, wow, I'm not the only person. This is something else that's transforming. And it literally just blew up from there.
What are the biggest challenges that they talk to you about in this space?
I'm hands down dress shopping, anything with being in front of a crowd,
being in front. Like, I think it's extremely surprising that so many people getting married and this is. couples so this is on both sides they don't like to be the the like the the point of attention they don't want all the attention on them and i have to be like well we're going to be walking down some type of aisle and everyone's going to be because everyone has different versions of an aisle and everyone's going to be looking at you and that is a very huge insecurity and that's all sizes all shapes all ethnicities that's the one that I hear all the time I don't know if I'm ready for all eyes to be on me yeah so I just went through this I got married um I had a really hard time finding my dress I didn't want a traditional wedding dress it's my second marriage and um i am a size 14 16 and i had the and i realize that's not even plus size but you try to go somewhere and like they had to go specifically pull what they had in a larger size and find it for me and it was a really big struggle and i truth be told i ended up buying my final i brought a bunch of dresses that i didn't love i bought my wedding dress the week before at marshall's and really the high-end marshals here in san diego that has like more of the designer stuff and i bought it at marshall's and i'm not i'm not ashamed to tell anyone that but so i love to know like how did it make you and this is the part that i always tell people and this is like when i knew as a planner because i would go on a lot of the shopping trips and you know i i knew that they fell in love and i'm gonna tell when they truly looked in the mirror Like you can be looking in the mirror and see it, but not looking in the mirror. But when they looked and they're like, Oh, and I can have this feeling. I can have this. Like they start imagining how it is. So like, did you feel that? Was that like that?
Yeah. I mean, at this point I was so tired and it was so close to the wedding and I was so stressed and had to, but I did love it. You look at it and you're like, okay, you want something that makes you feel beautiful. You want to look in the mirror and say, I feel beautiful. No matter what size it is or what style it is or, you know, anything you just want to like. know that it's you and that it's your style and that it makes you feel beautiful so um but there are fewer choices I think oh for sure and and I think that's frustrating I think for you know uh any for any dress that you're looking for you just you should have you should be able to go to the store and find your size and try it on and and not have to imagine I think that is like Like having to imagine what you're going to have to look for. And I think that is one of the reasons also why I really put my heart and soul into Pretty Pear Bride when I created it. And it's like, I wanted to bring, create, find, curate inspiration that looked like me. So I didn't have to imagine.
So I could actually, oh, that's how that would look on me. Oh, that's how that would be on me. And that's ultimately why I started it, where it came from, because I had to always imagine everything.
Yeah, that's so important. Um, okay. That's the pretty pair, right? What is Aisle Society?
Sure. So Aisle Society is a media company that we actually create. And I say,
we, I created it with, um, 30 other wedding bloggers and we created it to be a hub where people could come instead of having to go find all 30 of us. It was like, Hey, we just come to this one place and we did a lot of brand deals, a lot of parties. We really became the staple in the wedding industry for inspiration that. actually was over so many different outlets and publications.
COVID happened, people were like, yeah, I'm out. And so I kind of decided to acquire it and just it myself and have it be the direction i wanted with and it really was just a bigger platform so not just pretty pair bride but a bigger platform to have more publications to create more inspiration for couples getting married that looks like them that's really what it was and that's what i've kind of transformed it into now so many changes so much about myself that i found even creating it i've i have had it i had three or four years before anyone ever knew i owned it They just thought it was running and I was running in the background because I was just trying to figure out what I wanted to do with it and how I wanted it to be. And now I just kind of feel like I'm kind of stepping into it.
Yeah, I love that. And it's turned into, you got a lot more going on than just that now. I hear this whole personal brand side of what you're doing. The visibility to profit framework. What's that?
Well, I think it's so funny because, and I know, you know, like you, we all have a thought process of what we want. And then you realize like, oh, that's what I have here. That's what I have here. That's what I have here. And I always thought, what is the through line?
And everyone's like, Shafonne, you are literally someone that is the visibility, like you are the queen of visibility. And I was like, well, I guess so. Like in the wedding industry with vendors and kind of visibility to profit is just my. personal brand of that. So a lot of people are like, well, I'm not in the wedding industry or I'm like, well, I work with the wedding industry here, but this is where I work with anyone who's kind of a founder or creative, anything in that space that helps people realize you can be visible and how to use that visibility to make profit.
Whatever that profit looks like for you in your business, in your life, in your relationships, all of it kind of is visibility to profit. And I'm curious in today's world,
How would you differentiate visibility from influencing?
Oh, ma'am. That was a good question.
That's good. I'm just like, wow, that's good. Okay. So the way I look at it is visibility.
When I look at it is just the aspect of being seen. You don't have to even be influencing anyone doing anything beyond that. I just want you to be able to show up and be seen. And so when I think of influencing, influencing is the aspect of I am influencing you to do something.
That's the difference because a lot of people, they can influence, I can put a link in a heartbeat of a dress that I'm wearing. I've just influenced you to buy that dress and I've done that and it works amazingly. But if you don't have the ability to actually be visible and even show up to get to that influencing stage, that's where the problem kind of comes in.
Interesting. So you do a lot of coaching around that.
I it's funny because I used to do a lot more coaching. I think it has moved into I do coach, but I do a lot of strategizing. So a lot of times now it's like I'm working with these big brands and they're like, hey, Shafonne, how can we actually make our message more inclusive? How can we do this? So I do do coaching. It is something where I'm a little bit more like, hey, what are your actual big goals? Let's look at it there. But it has really moved into the most strategizing and saying, how can we make your strategy better?
Yeah. Okay. I love it.
Okay. So a month, two months ago, you become a Tri Delta.
How is it getting connected and creating some friendships there? And what does that look like?I actually think even from the convention, I made so many connections there. And I remember having a conversation with a couple of us. We were the alumni and we kind of, we were like,
hey, you know, we kind of wish we had an area because it is a different experience. It is a different experience coming in where we didn't have the college part. We're coming in a very different space and we were talking. They're like, you know, it'd be kind of cool to have like our own little circle. Say less.
And I think that's just how I am. You have a circle now, don't you? Yes. And it's like, but that is. I don't know if I would have really done that anywhere else that I didn't actually feel comfortable enough to come in, hear what everyone was saying and say, pause. I got you.
And then go to the know exactly who to go to and say yes. And then it was like, all right, don't you find it's emotion that I think is what kind of happened from just being in that room with that, with the type of people that were there. And now I'm able to continue that connection. I talked to some of my sisters that we came in together. Like it really is the place where I feel like I can foster that. I love it. And you're facilitating now one of our programs. Yes.
because that was one of the reasons why daniel's actually found you would be perfect because you would be perfect for this because i have done a lot of work in the body positivity space um i've had some stuff be on youtube that went really viral i'm doing another show on youtube that's about like so i do a lot of work in that space and so i'm super excited um that's the reason why i came in but then i found all this when i'm like okay i really yes i really do want to do that
Yeah. I love it that you're helping out with body image 3D. That's awesome. Yeah. That was one of our signature programs in Tri Delta for those are listeners that don't know. And she just summed it up. Great. Talking about body positivity and all the aspects of that. I love it. So I'm getting the sense you're a busy woman.
You got a lot of irons in the fire.
We had a speaker at convention that talked about balance. She actually said balance is bullshit. We all know that. And I just said that on the podcast. I hope that's okay. But that was the title of her talk. So that wasn't my word. That was her word.
How do you find balance? You got a lot going on. You raised kids.
Yes. You were being an entrepreneur. How do you find balance in your life? I will piggyback on what that is. All actually, I have not always felt this way. I chased the balance.
I chased it. And it was one of those like spinning a hamster on a spinning wheel. It's never there.
So I think I have really migrated because I do have three kids, 20, 16,
eight. So I have three kids, all different ages, all different stages. And so the balance to me is ebb and flow. And that's how I always think about it. That's how I think about it now, especially as being an entrepreneur, is that some days I'm going to be like, hey, I know you want me to be there, but I can't right now. But next week, I got you. So it's like it's an ebb and flow. And I think my kids, as well as my husband, because he's a part of that, too. Like, I want to make sure we were just in Joshua Tree, just the two of us. So it's like I want to make sure he gets in there.
But it is an ebb and flow. And my kids know.
You know, I'm going to throw them in there too. I think it's a little space in there. Yes. But they know it's like, this is mommy's busy time. So I literally have a door, like a sign on my door and they'll know like, oh, she's recording a podcast or she's on the phone or she's in a meeting, you know, and they know come back. And so it is, it's an ebb and flow for sure.
Yeah. Yeah. I understand. It's a lot to juggle all of those things. And I don't, you know, I don't know that any of us have cracked the code. Ebb and flow sounds good. I told someone the other day, it's like this constant state of guilt wherever you're not at. I think it's just so hard as women to balance it all and be everything we want to be all the time to all the people. All right.
Well, tell me what's next for you in your career and life?
I feel like you've probably got like 20 other projects in front of you that you have ideas about.
I'm getting a sense of who you are and how you operate. I think being in my 40s now, I'm going to say that it's a lot that I have learned of like what I thought I wanted.
what I thought I wanted to do. And now there's been a true realization. I think once we hit a certain age, as females are like, oh, I don't have time for any of that stuff. I just don't. And you start prioritizing. So I think I'm moving into really looking at my business, my company, what I'm doing. What's the next phase? And I think there's a phase for me specifically in the industry of weddings that is just being ignored, which is that after the wedding.
And it's like kind of creating this space of everyone else is doing the wedding.
It's great. I will stay there. We have our stuff there. But what is the after wedding? And I, as you can tell, I'm like, I love conversations. I love relationships. I love that part of things. So it really, we're looking at creating a podcast, call me married. It's just going to be the conversations of, yes, you got married. Tell us all about it. Great, great, great. What's the after? When did y'all have y'all's first argument? How did that go? How is it going? What's newlywed life? What's that? Like the stuff that I want to get into conversational wise and relationship wise that fills my soul and then helping people navigate that and also being seen.
How do I, you know. look at that relationship in a different way now that we are married. So yeah, I think that's kind of what next for me as well as building that personal brand, speaking more, interacting with people more, but kind of not just a wedding person. I don't want to be just known as the wedding person. No, Shafonne is the person that just wants all people to be seen and kind of get paid in their own way for doing that.
Yeah, I love it. I love it. I like the call me married. There's so much that comes after it. Everybody wants to hear about the wedding and see the wedding pictures. Nobody wants to hear how it was to move and put five, you know, take the, you know, join kids and blend the families and figure out why we have four toasters and all that stuff.
Yeah. Which one works better? Which one do we like better? Nobody wants to hear about that.
But that's the, that's real life, right? And no one talks about it. I think that is what you said. Like no one. talk like it literally is a drop off like we've reached a cliff and you're dropped off and there's a real thing of like wedding planning like like after the wedding planning uh lull are like people really talk about that and they get depressed and they get upset because it's high high high and then it's like no one cares about me no one wants no one is helping me or anything so yeah it's a real thing it's real down off that yeah yeah well how do people find you people want to learn more about you and see what you're doing how do they find you I always like to say I'm trying to be all hip and I am.
My kids. You don't have to try. I'll tell you. But I tell people,
I always direct people to either my Instagram, which is at Shafonne Myers or my LinkedIn, because I actually love LinkedIn. Like that's a quiet spot. I'm like, I can actually give my business side.
And then like, so those are the two places. And then from there, I have the offshoot for all my different brands and everything that I'm working at. But if you want wedding, you're more than happy to go over to Aisle Society. all the places at Aisle Society, Pinterest, everything.
But for me, I always direct them to my personal brand stuff and you can go from there. We'll put all of that in the notes for the episode. This was fun. I love that you're part of our sisterhood now. Welcome. And I'm glad that you're having a great transition and it was fun to talk to you today. Thanks for joining us on the podcast.
Thank you so much for having me. Thank you.
Well, we've had a great conversation with Shafonne. And come back soon. We do all these great conversations with these amazing people. I love sharing their stories. I hope you'll save the date for October 17th. We are having our first alumni day of service. On this day, Tri Deltas can go out and serve in their community. You can do it through your alumni chapter on your own. It's going to be fun to share that. Service is part of our fabric. I would say in our organization, something we're called to do. And I love that we're going to start sharing more about all the different kinds of services going on in Tri Delta with our members. So stay tuned for that on October 17th. In the meantime, like subscribe, rate our podcast. We have three stars in our crescent, but we love those five star ratings. So thanks for joining us until next time. Delta love.