Chew into a powerful conversation about health, wellness and recovery with Caroline Bridges Cook, Vanderbilt. Caroline is a woman of many talents—a real estate agent, writer, teacher and speaker and, most notably, the author of the transformative and uplifting book “Hungry.” Join us as we explore Caroline’s inspiring journey, marked by resilience and a pursuit of truth and love.
Tune in as Caroline kicks off the episode by highlighting our innate hunger from birth—for food, love, connection and joy! With insights from her book “Hungry,” Caroline shares keys to overcoming eating disorders and living a full life, which includes the enjoyment of cooking and food. Dive into her larger mission of health and wellness, volunteer initiatives, family life and her future plans! From her journey as a high school Homecoming queen to finding her place in Tri Delta, explore Caroline’s evolution from disordered eating to recovery and beyond. Unveiling the symbolic layers within “Hungry” (yes, there’s cake on the cover!), Caroline shares wisdom on raising daughters, leading wellness discussions and her enduring bond with Tri Delta. Get ready for a conversation that’s both soul-nurturing and delectably insightful!
Hello, Tri Deltas, and welcome to another episode of Let's Talk Tri Delta. I'm Karen White and I have the honor and privilege of serving as Tri Delta's Chief Executive Officer. I also have the amazing honor of interviewing some of our amazing sisters and bringing you their stories right here on the podcast. And today is no different. We have an amazing guest, Caroline Cook, from Vanderbilt who's with us today. Caroline is a real estate agent, a writer, a teacher and a speaker. She's passionate about spreading truth and love to a wide audience. And she's got a new book. It's called "Hungry." And in it, Caroline offers a message of hope by sharing her own recovery story of how she found freedom from an eating disorder. February marks National Eating Disorders Awareness Month. It's a crucial time to shed light on the significance of understanding and supporting individuals who are suffering with disordered eating. And there's so much more to Caroline and her story. So we're going to delve into all of it. right now. So much to uncover and discuss. Caroline, hello and welcome to the podcast.
Hello and thank you for having me. This is such a treat, Karen.
Well, we're thrilled to get to know you a little better and to learn more about your book. So “Hungry,” as we've discussed, has been a long time in the making since college, right?
Yes, this book that I had a dream about writing once I got into recovery. But yes, definitely even in college. There's a lot about that in this book.
Well, take us back, if you will, to the start. Maybe share your journey, the journey that led you to write the book. And maybe there's a part of this story about being crowned Homecoming queen on the football field.
So this story starts right before my senior year in high school. I was entering into the new world of going to college, what I was going to do, post -graduation, and it was really scary. I didn't really have the words at the time, but I think I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and I started to flirt with restricting my food intake as a way of feeling more in control. The Homecoming story that you mentioned, when I speak to groups of girls, I usually start with this moment. On the football field, I was a cheerleader, I was one of the girls that was up for Homecoming queen, and they call my name, I get the crown. I get the roses. You imagine it's the best moment of my life. Inside, I kept hearing these loud, ugly words of, "You are so fat. You are so fat. Get off the field. You've got to get off the field." Everybody's staring at you. So even though it looked like I was having this perfect moment, it was actually a kind of a nightmarish moment for me that I remember.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Well, hey, it's way past me. So now this, I get to say the good stuff now.
Yeah, yeah, I understand. Now, you talk about hungry as a metaphor, right? Do you want to explain that and, and maybe talk about the significance of the book cover?
Yeah. So the, well, starting with the book cover, for those who can see this, there's that big, fun, happy birthday cake on it that says “hungry.” So obviously, this, the topic of eating disorders doesn't sound like it's going to be a really fun topic, right? But really, it is a celebratory story, because I am way in recovery. I've been in recovery for 30 plus years. So from the get go, I certainly want people to know this is going to be a joyous book. It's going to be some, like people say, they laugh, they cry, they smile, they hurt inside when they read it, but at the end it really is a happy, happy story. I always say to be human is to be hungry. I've got four kiddos and for those of us who've had children, what do you do? The minute they come out, they're crying and you immediately try and get them to eat. So we are hungry from the get go, not only for physical food, but we're hungry for purpose. We're hungry for love, for connection. There's so many things about us as humans that put us in a state of hunger.
I think that's incredibly insightful and then sort of paralleling that with your journey of recovery from disordered eating. Now you're on a mission to speak to various groups starting with Tri Delta so we're honored about that.
Absolutely I would be super sad if it wasn't hardcore Tri Delta hit. I’ve got to get to my girls first.
Love it. So this is about promoting health, wellness and recovery. And so how do you navigate the topic with groups so that the conversation can really be as profound as it is, especially in this day and time?
Yeah, usually when I go and talk to a chapter, or sorority or high school, the girls are a little nervous. What is this girl's going to come talk about? What? Oh my gosh. I don't know if I want to hear it. Sounds sad. And I just bound in there with a lot of energy with a lot of smiles. I mean, there's nothing about me that's not big and bright. So immediately I think that the feel is, okay, this is going to be fun. Well, I don't know how this girl is going to talk about this topic being fun. But it is and we talk a lot about I tell them my story. But we talk a lot about the contagiousness of wellness when it comes to body image and healthy eating and how we live and we can actually be agents of good or I know people who have gotten to college and they have actually, their eating disorders have gotten so much better by other girls around them saying, "No, we're not gonna do that. Let's all go have lunch. We need to eat, fill our bodies with food.” We need that." Or same thing, you could go be around a bunch of girls and realize, "Oh gosh, they don't feed their bodies. They're not using fuel. I guess I want to look like them." The fat one in the group or the one that's too indulgent. I better not eat lunch today” So it's really powerful the people we surround ourselves with in this area.
Oh a hundred percent and you know, I know, you know, right that that Tri Delta was really courageous and this is back in the day sort of the first group that recognized that power of of group think when it comes to disordered eating and really went out on a limb with our Reflections program, right, which has since become BodyImage3D. But I, you know, I look back on that period. I didn't work for Tri Delta at the time, but I recognize we were sort of talking about the elephant in the chapter room. Nobody really wanted to talk about how.
Yeah, it's so important and it still surprises me how people will say, no one's really talking about this. I'm so glad you're talking about it. And I just think, how can you not talk about it?
Well, and you've seen the stats since the pandemic, right? The levels of disordered eating are at an all-time high. So I'm grateful you're talking about it. And of course, Tri Delta has continued to do the same thing.
Well that's such good news and I'm so proud that Tri Delta, and doesn't surprise me one bit, that they were one of the first to recognize that and make it a priority. You know I use a number, a statistic that is just so powerful when I speak, that according to college campuses 91 percent of women admit to controlling their weight through dieting. So you're right.
Absolutely.
And eating disorders thrive in isolation. So of course, we created, or Corona, I should say, created this environment where it really did just skyrocket.
It absolutely did. Now, you know, you're an advocate, you're a speaker, you're an author, but you're also a mom.
Yes.
You have four kids, you've got three daughters.
Yes.
You've got a couple of Tri Deltas. in there, which we love, love, love.
Me too
So three daughters and the three of you, four of you, love cooking together, right? So, you know, raising daughters, what did you do to ensure that they didn't follow down that path and fall prey to all the dangers, right, of disordered eating.
You know, this is usually one of the first questions I get when I go speak to girls even, is they say, the minute I finish for Q &A, someone will raise their hand and say, so what did you do differently? I think girls really wanna know, tell me how it works, what did you do? And the main thing that I did was make in our family eating dinner together was a real priority, cooking together is a real priority, teaching my girls how to cook for themselves once they went to college, what was normal, what wasn't normal. We also made it a priority that scales. I still have a few triggers in my life. I don't really get on a scale. I don't really need to know those numbers. I don't track all those calories and things people do these days. If someone has a watch that does something to figure out metabolic numbers about me, I run the other direction. I don't want to know, I don't want to know. In my house, we keep the conversation real positive. I even checked with my girls, kind of a fact check with my girls the other day. I said, "Is it true? 'Cause in my head, it's true that you never, I never really said I felt that or looked that fat.” And they said, "Yeah, no, mom, you really didn't." 'Cause first of all, I don't, I feel great. I feel really good about myself. And so I wanted my girls to feel that way too. And I just didn't want that negative language. You're gonna get enough of that in the world. I want our house to be a safe place where they could eat what they wanted to and we could feel good about feeding our bodies here.
Yeah, I mean, it's so important. And children, young women, girls look to their moms to, you know, as a model for some of that behavior, right?
Absolutely, in fact, if I'm talking to moms, which I have talked with a lot of moms over the past 30 years, you know, moms, if you don't want your girls to have an eating disorder, I have something to say to you. Don't have an eating disorder.
Right?
Yes. We can't control our children, but we can be the best role model that we can. And so if we are constantly talking about complaining about our bodies or complaining not looking a certain way of course our children are going to feel that and hear that and train themselves into thinking, “Well, gosh, do I look bad? Should I look a certain way? There's just such an opportunity as moms to create a healthy playing field as they grow up.
I'm parents too I would I would say you know mom moms, parents, caregivers, dads, right? Just this way of just accepting and loving people for exactly who they are, not the size and their clothing label.
Yes, it's certainly a good start if we can do that.
So tell me about like your take on social media, right? Because, you know, we can love them and set great examples at home and then they go to social media and I feel like it's all there.
Absolutely, there are so many things that have gotten better since I was in high school. For example, you walk into a store and they have a plus size mannequin or really healthy looking people, not just Twiggy. So that's great. But I didn't have social media when I was in high school. So to your point, what do I think about social media? I think it can be terrible, terrible in this department. And if you are someone who struggles with an eating disorder, you probably shouldn't be on social media. It's probably too difficult. It really is. I think I use social media. I have an Instagram account. I'm trying to grow my platform. I see a lot of good with it, but I think for someone who's really comparing themselves with others, it can be very dangerous and detrimental and probably just not advisable to even—take a break, they probably need to know their limits.
It's a little social media detox, right? I think that's just that perfect ideal that's out there. there, um, you know, that, you know, is, especially with all of the ways you can alter social media and filter social media, right? Some of it's not even accurate or true. It's kind of an unattainable ideal.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
So let's talk about you because there is a fun fact about you that you studied opera and you were actually signed by a record label. label in Nashville? Tell us about that.
Okay, well, and I meant to, yeah, I had, so yes, I did some operas at Vanderbilt, loved singing and really thought I would pursue that and did pursue that after college. I was signed with MCA, really is a production deal as a new artist and it was awesome. It was so fun. I thought for sure I'd be on the road within a few years of graduating, but I did meet Wes Cook, my husband.
Yes.
And, you know, he kind of derailed some of those plans.
That's sometimes happens.
And I just couldn't wait to get married and start a family with him. And yeah, I'm still the best kept secret in town. I'm really, really, really affordable. I'm usually zero dollars. So usually I sing for the office Christmas party and things like that.
Well, you may hear from Tri Delta, 'cause you never know where we might need you to, you know, belt out Alpha Theta Phi for us.
I could do it, I could do it.
So, and you also write children's books. And is it true that your mom is the illustrator of your children's books?
She is, now she was a Kappa, but ... but we'll let her in.
It's okay, NPC love, right?
Yeah, we've got a big old group of, you know, one daughter was Theta, mom's a Kappa, we represent lots of them. But yeah, mom's a wonderful artist and we wrote these children's books together. We've been selling them for about 10 years and we're actually getting ready to reprint those in a hardback and they'll be coming out in the spring.
Oh my gosh, how exciting. How, so then, you know, on top of what you do, career-wise you're active in several nonprofit organizations and you, as I understand it, you chair the Antiques and Garden show of Nashville, which listeners, that is not a small thing, just so you know. So tell us more about your volunteer work.
Well, yes, I am chairing the Nashville Antiques and Garden Show. It'll be in January and it has absolutely been the biggest thing I have done volunteer-wise in my volunteer life. And it's so awesome. It's one of the best in the country. We're having Ina Garten come be our keynote speaker.
Just Ina.
Just Ina.
I love it.
Yeah, so this is really big. So this is just, she taught us all how to cook. So we're so excited to see what she has to say. But, you know, I love volunteer opportunities because A, I can give back to my beautiful city of Nashville. I love getting to know these people I'm working with. And just what I'm exposed to, the caliber of people that I get to work with from marketing and the PR people and just the behind the scenes. It's just a real opportunity to get to do it. So I was happy to say yes to that job.
Well, I know they are grateful for you. Tri Delta is powered by 3,000 volunteers and I will tell you we cannot do without a single one of them and we are extraordinarily grateful to them. So thank you for putting on such a great show in Nashville. I love Ina. The Barefoot Contest, I mean, I love her.
I mean, she's the best. We're just wondering if Jeffrey's coming. We don't know. We don't know.
Oh, my gosh, wouldn't that be such a treat?
Such a treat.
So much fun. All right, so let's talk about Tri Delta. It holds a special place in your family—generations. Is it right that your great-grandmother was a Tri Delta?
Yes, can you believe that? In fact, today I was texting with my dad. We think that was about 1916.
Oh my gosh.
I know. What a stud she must have been.
Absolutely. I wonder if she knew Sarah Ida Shaw!
Who knows? She was at University of Missouri and her name was Mary Elizabeth Rawlings. She grew up in St. Louis and my second daughter is named after her and she goes by Rawley. So yeah, I chaired the Eve of Janus a few years ago here in Nashville and right before all the girls came on stage, my mom leaned over to me. Her name was Noni and she said, "Noni would be so proud of you." And I really, that was really amazing to think, you know what, she would. I knew Noni well, she didn't pass away until her 90s. So how cool that I knew my great-grandmother Tri Delt.
That is amazing. And then two daughters at Ole Miss.
Yes, two daughters, I pinned them both. The Tri Delta house in Oxford is amazing, unbelievable.
So beautiful. Yes.
Yes. Your chapter is just something to, so I'm so proud of them and they are both they both love being Tri Delts there and we've loved getting to know all those girls. So yeah, it's a big part of our life.
I love it and you've now you've continued connections and communication with your pledge class too.
Absolutely. Being here in Nashville gives me the opportunity to go to Vanderbilt Homecoming quite a bit, which is so fun. And we just recently went on a trip about 10 of us to Florida from our Pledge class. So yeah, we stay in really close touch.
Love that. I mean, what it's hard to share with collegians is that Tri Delta really is a lifelong experience and journey. I think it's hard to know that as a college woman. But from my seat, traveling as much as I do on behalf of Tri Delta, I just see it everywhere. How this permeates your life. It's a part of the fabric of your life. And I love that you're enjoying that.
Oh, and like we're talking about hungry to be hungry is human, we're hungry for connection.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
From the get go. That is what sororities do and what Tri Delta has done for me is it gave us such a beautiful way to plug in and learn about volunteering, learn about groups of how powerful groups of women can be. So yeah, we'll never stop wanting that connection, I don't think.
I agree. So for me, I wonder too, too, you know, you've held some really big volunteer leadership roles in Nashville, Eve of Janus and the Antiques and Garden show. Can you connect any of that leadership development and skills back to being a part of a women's group in college? Was there any translation from one to the other?
Absolutely.
I think after four years of being really plugged in, which I was at Tri Delt, you naturally seek that after college. And especially not being from here and from Austin. And here I was in Nashville starting a family and I wanted to plug in and the Tri Delt chapter here is really wonderful and really involved and the Eve of Janus has always been a wonderful family, group of ladies. So that was a real natural fit to, you know, to go there and start cheering things. And I think it was probably my role as chairing Eve of Janus that, you know, alerted somebody with the Antiques and Garden Show. Well, she did that. Maybe she'll do this.
Yes. You know, when they find those that are willing to, you know, do what they do so well and willing to say yes, right. I am sure there are a lot of invitations to step up and lead.
Ah, it's been fun. I consider it just a real privilege to get to do it.
Well, the world needs more Caroline Cooks. Let me just start there. But so, you know, so more broadly, like, what's, what kind of message or advice do you have for young adults and especially those that might be in our collegiate world, say 18 to 22, what kinds of things do you share with young women?
Well, that is my real passion right now. I wrote this so that I can go and speak to women all around the country, I hope, which I've already been doing. To really say, this is avoidable. I really believe that with some education and some storytelling, that I can help girls navigate this and really avoid it, really just know it's just not a good way to go. I always say, okay, who writes, raise your hand if you use a map. And of course, lots of people raise your hand, I say, okay, who uses Waze? You know, we all use Waze. Yeah, absolutely. All of our hands go up. Well, why do we use Waze instead of a map? Because it tells us what's going on ahead that we can't see, right? It tells you about a wreck that happens 10 miles up or tells you some shortcuts to take. I'm giving people a shortcut. I'm giving them a road map. I'm saying, avoid this and come over this way. So, and I'll tell you, I have been so just happy when I get these letters or texts from girls and I really have that say this worked, this book helped. Now I'm seeing that I don't have to live that way, that it's really an addiction. It's addictive behavior that if you're willing to lay it down and realize it is not anything but chains imprisoning you, if you're willing to lay that down, you can live a life that's free of that. I always say the opposite of anorexia is not fat, the opposite is free. I live a life free of this and I never thought it could happen when I was in treatment and all the doctors talked about when I would get better and when all this, I thought they actually think I'll live someday where this isn't a part of my life. I never thought it was possible. So if it can happen to me, if I can live outside of those prison walls, anyone can.
I mean, what an inspiration, right? Thank you for sharing that. And first of all, I don't think there's anything you can’t do and I know there are some things coming up right there may be a podcast and a cookbook so what's on the horizon for Caroline Cook?
Well yes after I wrap up this beautiful Antiques and Garden Show I will get back to the driver's seat. Yeah, my daughters and I have talked very seriously about coming up with a college girl cookbook which I would say is in the works uh loosely. And then I'm on the board of a recovery center here in Nashville for women and talks of a podcast about well women wellness and women and recovery stories, something that we've we are talking about. And I'm just excited. I may write something I may write another book. I love girls. I love the topic of living free of addictive just anything that would really pull us down. I think our lives are powerful and if your heart is beating then you are supposed to be here so let's figure out what that is supposed to be. Um, I love people and I love encouraging them to go, go big, dream big.
I just think you are an inspiration, so positive. And I think this idea of encouraging women to share their stories to your earlier point, disordered eating is often lonely, and women often suffer in isolation. And I think when women who are suffering see that there are others like them, I think that's a good idea. when healing and even that possibility can emerge that there could be life beyond what they're struggling with. So thank you for modeling that, for talking about it, and for writing this book. All the great things you're going to do as you're moving forward here. How can we follow you? How can we find your book? How can we keep up with you and all the good things coming?
Well, I've got lots of ways to do that. So I am on Instagram, Caroline B. Cook. And then I have a website, Caroline B. Cook as well. This book, “Hungry,” is on Amazon. And I love for you to order it on Amazon. I also read it on Audible. So if you're more of a listener,
Yeah. That is, that's fun to do.
And I would love for anyone to write a review about it. Yeah, I just, I think you're going to find me. If you look at all, if you type in Caroline B. Cook, you will find me. And I would just love for people to come alongside and let's just keep up the good work with spreading the good news.
Awesome. Thank you, Caroline B. Cook. We are so so thrilled for you and grateful that you're sharing your story and your message. I can't wait to read your book personally and follow you on your journey of greatness. There are just big things coming. And I'm gonna be paying attention to the outcomes of the Antiques and Garden Show. So thank you.
Thank you.
Yes.
Best of luck. Again, February is National Eating Disorder Awareness Month. So learn more about Caroline B. Cook and about Tri Delta's transformational programming around body image and self -esteem, how we as Tri Delta are investing in women around this exact topic. You can find that information on Tri Delta .org under the Foundation tab. Look for transformational programming. And as always, we hope you'll like, subscribe, and rate our podcast. We love five-star ratings at Let's Talk Tri Delta. Thank you so much for joining us today and until next time, Delta Love.