Let's Talk Tri Delta

Filmmaking and Finding Community: It’s Never Too Late

Episode Summary

Dive into a compelling conversation with independent filmmaker, producer and writer Mary Settle Pruitt, Cincinnati, as she shares her inspiring journey to becoming a filmmaker later in life with her production company appropriately named Never2late Productions. Mary uses film to explore real-life challenges and spark change.

Episode Notes

Hear Mary discuss her unexpected path into independent filmmaking, proving it’s never too late to pursue your passions. She shares how her Tri Delta experience influenced her films and storytelling, weaving Tri Delta values into her themes of connection, empowerment, community and the importance of women supporting women. From powerful films like “State of Grace,” inspired by the opioid epidemic, to upcoming projects, Mary’s journey is filled with insights on growth and finding purpose. Discover how she uses her films to start meaningful conversations about life, inspire change and leave viewers with a new perspective—making them think “I’m glad I saw that.”

 

 

Episode Transcription

This transcript was created using automated technologies and may contain errors.

Welcome to our Let's Talk Tri Delta podcast. I am Mindy Tucker. I am the interim CEO

at Tri Delta, and I have the pleasure of hosting today's episode with our wonderful

guest, Mary Settle Pruitt from our Zeta chapter in Cincinnati. She is an independent

filmmaker, a producer, a writer, a Tri Delta. We're going to talk about all kinds

of things today. I'm very excited for you to get to know her. She co -founded Never

Too Late Productions with her husband, Steve. And she and Steve have spent the last

15 years creating Hollywood quality powerful films that explore some important themes

and we're going to get into that. And I'm excited to talk about some of her topics

that she's digging into. What's really impressive about Mary is she totally got into

this later in life. She did not do any of this as her first passion in life. This

was sort of came along later in life, so I'm kind of excited to hear more about

that and how she got there and about all the films and her creative work. So Mary,

welcome to the podcast. We're so glad to have you. Well, I am so glad to be here.

Thank you very much. I appreciate your time and your energy to set this time aside

for the interview. - Sure, so I wanna start with you, letting us know a little bit

about you. Tell us about Mary, where you're from, how you ended up at college,

what college you went to, you went to Cincinnati, we talked about that. What was

that experience like and then how you ended up in Tridelta? - Well, I tell you

what, I grew up, okay, so first of all, I'll do a couple of things by the

numbers. Okay, I'm 64 years old. I've been married for 42 years. I have two grown

daughters.

I have, I'm a Mimi to four little grand babies that I love. And somewhere along

the line, we decided that we were going to make movies. So, but to go back to

Cincinnati, that is lovely. I grew up at a time when it was not unusual to

actually live in the same city from cradle to grave. In my case,

from kindergarten to senior year, I lived in the same house, went to the same

school, had all the same friends. So when I went to college, it was just like a

huge culture shock because I was just alone. Most of my friends had gone to

residential schools or out of state or whatever. And it was really hard to start

over and find your place in the midst of 38 ,000 strangers. So,

and I don't come from a Greek background, but fortunately one of my friends,

mothers, she had pledged and she encouraged me to do so. And so that's really,

you know, how I started that because I didn't live in the dorms, I was a commuter.

- Okay. - And commuters usually kind of get left on the fringes because, you know,

they just come to school, they go to class, they turn around, they go back home.

Yeah. Yeah. So someone encouraged you to do it. And then how did you end up and

try Delta? Well, well, I tell you what, I mean, you know how the pledge scene is,

you know how the, you know, you're going through to all the parties and everything.

And I like to say that, that they chose me, which is lovely. And the women,

I would probably call them girls now because I'm so much older, but the women, they

were just so endearing and they were very natural. And that wasn't always the case.

Not in every single house did I feel as if everyone was being genuine, but I

really got the impression there was such a diversity in personalities and experiences

that They're really kind of open, you know, to whoever I am. And that was a very

safe feeling. - I love that. I love that. It's your own bring you story.

We talk about bring you in terms of title. - Absolutely. - Bring us up. - And

computers, you know, it amazes me that most people when they think of Greek schools,

schools that are emphasized the Greek system, they always think always think of these

places where everyone goes away to school. They don't really think of the more metro

areas. But really, for commuters, the Greek system is invaluable. It's a place to

have a home base, to get to know people, to go in between classes, to be asked

about your day. And they've had common experiences. So that's really-- I would

recommend any commuter to do it. - I love that, I love that. It's a different

perspective on it that you don't hear very often and it's sort of outside the norm.

So I love that you shared that. So let's talk about this filmmaking thing. It was

something that came along later in life. What was it like transitioning from raising

your kids and then diving into this whole new career in filmmaking?

Well, I tell you what, filmmaking in retrospect, when I think about it, you know,

people say, you know, what was it like to just begin, you know, because we went

from zero to feature. Steve and I did not graduate with a film degree. We did not

go to film school. We did not start with shorts or commercials or anything like

that. We just decided, okay, zero to feature. And we'd never written,

we'd never produced none of that. And we also had assembled a first time cast in

crew with the exception of our director of photography who was a film school grad.

This was his first feature. So the whole team was new to it. Oh my gosh. Oh my

God. Now, I will say our actors were very, I mean, they've done quite a bit of

stage. So it's not like they'd never acted. And that there's another question later

about actors but so when we started and when people asked me that I go okay so

yeah it was exciting okay but it was scary and it was anxiety producing and it was

sure and I started thinking about it and I go kind of like parenthood

I mean really I didn't know what we were doing when the kids came along either

right yeah I mean who knew Who knew? Anytime you take on a truly novel complex

task with absolutely no training whatsoever, it's going to be tough.

It's going to be tough. And even when I was in the midst of it, I thought to

myself, when we first started actually filming, okay, so you do pre -production, you

write your script, you cast, you do all your pre -production, and then you actually

getting ready to actually film. And everybody's assembled. I mean,

you've got your cast, you've got your crew, you've got your investors, you've got

your insurance company all paid up, and you've got all this stuff.

And you have to go for it. And it's kind of like labor, I thought, in the middle

of it. I said, because you can't, you can't

out now. Yeah, you can't change your mind. And it just won't stop.

It's just going to keep going. And I just remember thinking, okay, this is like a

three month labor. So, so it was, it was, it was really hard.

People think filmmaking is being

and all this and a lot of hard work. - Yeah, you don't see all the hard work.

- Yeah, it's a lot of hard work. - So you jumped into this with your husband and

you guys do this together. How is it being in business with him and dividing tasks?

How do you make that work? - Okay, well, just to give you a,

first of all, the first film was absolutely impossible to work with my husband.

Anyone who's never worked with the spouse and then they actually work with them. And

I don't mean raising children together. You know, you do that and you figure it

out, but go in business with somebody. We wrote the first one side by side and

that was disastrous. I had no idea how personal somebody's creative ideas really were

until somebody rejected mine. And I found that it wasn't just the idea he was

rejecting. I mean, I felt personally like I was being rejected. Okay, so that was

really terrible. So the next film that we did, we devised a system. We said, we

can't do that again, that's bad news. So I would be on the second floor of our

house. He would be in the basement. He usually would give me first crack at a

scene and I would write it and then I'd email it to and then he would you know

download and then he'd make changes and he'd email it back to me and Then the

first floor was neutral Switzerland where we never discussed movies We just came down

and we did things like a dinner together and stuff like that And I really found

that just taking some of the physical proximity. The fact that I wasn't right there

looking at him, being able to hear him say, "Oh, I can't even believe you wrote

that." Taking that out and just looking at things that are crossed out or

highlighted or comments, so much easier, so much easier. Now, we still have moments,

but that's-- And is the first floor still neutral ground? It is,

is, it is, but the the other thing that I found really challenging is because we

do it together, we write it together, we do pre -production together. Okay, so I

have an equal say in it, right? Because we're equals. But yet,

you can only have one director. And that, that took a little bit of adjusting too.

And it was also a little hard, because a lot of times, when really stressed on

set. You just have to bark out orders. And having your husband bark out orders at

you in public in front of all these other people, that's, you know, so advised a

system. And that's that for every film, I create a bit of an alter ego. And so

when I go on set, I am no longer Mary, the wife. Okay, I am Marta,

the, you know, first AC, or Maria or Marla or,

and then when I get really disgusted by the end of the film, I quit.

- But you're not, but you're not Marissa doesn't matter. - Yeah, yeah, but, you know,

it's the sort of thing. It's like, and it's not, it's not obviously, I'm not

delusional, but it just, it helps to put it in perspective. Like he's not really

barking at me, his wife. I'm just an employee. I'm another person that, you know,

we really need to get this done. So, and that's been helpful. - Yeah, interesting.

Okay, well, those are good tips, I guess. Marta, I'm gonna call you Marta from now

on. - Yeah, this is great. - So I wanna dig in, we've not pre, I think I'm sure

our listeners are like, okay, what are all these films about now? We've been talking

about films. So you look at real life challenges and that's kind of your inspiration

and the motivation behind your films. What brought you there? How did how did that

all come about? How did you sort of land on I want to do these kinds of films?

Okay and that that's that's an excellent question because everybody goes into

filmmaking for different reasons you know and and a lot of people they want to do

independent film because they want fame and fortune and we did not do that, I

realized that unless you change the world, your fame is about three generations

before obscurity. Plus, I find fame a bit overrated. However,

that being said, to be well known, usually unlocks some resources that you might not

have if you are totally obscure. So I can see value in getting your name out there

and that sort of thing. Fortune is gonna come by films

that exploit, and that is not, that is, in other words, you need a lot of

gratuitous violence or sex,

or horror, horror sells very big. And Steve has a day job,

he's a university professor. This wasn't about, you know, oh, we've got to make a

living because otherwise we won't eat. So we had the, you know, the luxury of

trying to decide what do we want to, you know, why do we want to do this? And

that's why our motto is making movies to make a difference. Because we want our

movies, for when people go see them, that hopefully when they are finished with

them. When they emerge from the theater or from their basement, they can say, "I'm

glad I saw that. I'm glad I saw that." That was a really good film.

Hopefully, find some assistance with things that they may be dealing with.

Yeah. Let's talk about "State of Grace"

Tell me about that film. - Okay, so "State of Grace" is a feature film and it's

about, it was inspired by the opioid epidemic. So it's about fentanyl,

foster care and a family of strangers. And you will see the subject of community as

a recurring character in our films. And I love the that tri -doubt is very much

that that community and it's interesting that at this time in my life that I should

be writing about something that I was so desperately seeking for you know seek as

an 18 year old it never goes away we always we always need that so we really

wanted to take a young woman who is addicted to fentanyl, that's her character.

She has a one -year -old daughter who she loses to state custody. And it's about a

family of strangers that come together and through their own issues that they're

dealing with, their own traumas, their own losses,

they basically walk beside her and hopefully resolve or leave her in a better place

than she was when she started, and the daughter as well. - Right, so it's her

story, it's about, but I think it's her story, but it's really about the coming

together of people around her. That's what you said, community becomes a character in

the story. - Absolutely, but it's also, interestingly enough, as we researched this,

okay, so, you know, fortunately or unfortunately, however you wanna look at it, I

mean, we don't have that personal experience, you know, to draw upon. So Steve did

something really unique and I'm not sure I would have and he did and it was

lovely. We were gonna have a scene where we needed pictures

of people that were gonna represent people in treatment that did not make it.

Okay, we were gonna use actor headshots. And Steve said, "This movie is about a

real topic and these are real people and real families are being left behind." So

he got online and he started looking at obituaries where the family members actually

mentioned that their loved one died of an opioid overdose.

And some of those he reached out and he contacted and he asked if they would share

their story with him. And I have to tell you, I was Lord. I mean,

I thought I had, you know, I had my own preconceived notion of what an addict was,

you know, how they got involved with drugs and all that sort of thing. Absolutely

none of these stories. You know, I just looked at it as, oh, they started with a

gateway drug, you know, they were just experimenting, they wanted a good time. the

vast number of them were prescribed opioids as a result of a sports injury.

If somebody had slipped on ice and fallen down the stairs, so they were severely

significantly car accidents. And this is a time when opioids were being prescribed,

handover list. And then all and people get, you know, it gets publicized that maybe

this is such a great idea. They get cut off and there they are. I mean,

just normal every day, you know, people just trying to live life and now they're

actually controlled by this, by this substance.

And which is one reason why our character actually comes to her fentanyl addiction

through pain. So we really wanted, we wanted to give a truer.

- Yeah, I think that's very common. I think people you'll find relating to that.

Yeah, yeah, you'll find relating to that I think. So it sounds like, I mean,

obviously the community connection, you've found that in Tridelta and you've brought

that to bear in the fall. Are there other ways that you find yourself sort of

thinking about Tridelta as you go down the process of making film? - Well,

women helping women. I mean, if you look at any of our films, I mean, it is a

recurring theme and it's really kind of interesting 'cause Steve a lot of times will

come up with the initial idea. He goes, oh, I think it'd be really interesting to

do a film about this. And then before you know it, as we're fleshing out the

outline. It's like 75 % of our characters are female.

And the lead character is usually a female who's really, you know,

working her way through, you know, some life circumstance or bad decision or whatever

the case may be. And then we have this women helping women,

which I think some filmmakers may do that because there's a big emphasis on women

in film, but we have never done that. Ours is not engineered,

it just comes naturally that we are interested in these characters and we're

interested in their life experiences. Yeah, and I think that's really tried out.

Okay, so one of the things I remember is as a pledge

Learning so many things about so many different people. I mean we people from the

country We had people from the suburbia we had people that lived in apartments and

They would share, you know, they'd be talking about something and I go well, what

is that? You know, and they'd have to explain it to me, you know, like I said,

you know, what's it? What's gilding, you know, because, and, and that was, yeah,

I didn't know what a gilding was. And they said, well, that's, that's a, a, a

stallion that's been castrated. And I said, oh, sort of like a eunuch. And they go,

well, what's a eunuch? So it was, it was lovely that we, we,

we could interconnect, but learn from each other's different experiences. Yeah. Totally

different. Yeah. different you know, corners of the world there. Yeah,

I think that's one of the beautiful things about the, you know, the organization,

not only as a collegiate, but even as an alumni, you are meeting and running into

people from all over with different backgrounds and different skills and different

strengths. And it comes together in such a beautiful way. And so

that's fun. Yeah, go ahead. No, you have a couple of projects in the works. So why

don't you tell us what's what? Yeah, it's you know, it's it's tough, because we can

only make them as quickly as we have time to make them and as we have money to

do so. Sure. We were going to be working on one that was working titled dust.

And that was very much I mean, regret, which I think as we get older,

we can truly appreciate. It's basically taking your mistakes and bringing something

beautiful out of it for the benefit of somebody else.

So now that is a very large film. And we recently lost one of our investors, he

passed away. So Until we find another investor to that,

who can invest to that degree, we decided that our next film would be a smaller

one, smaller in scope. And so that one is called "Working Title." These are just

working titles. It's called "A Private Pain," and it's about a mother's loss,

a child's life, and the love that tries to make sense of it all. - Oh. - So it

is, we are dealing with grief, but we're also dealing with recovery.

And so now you know why that fortune wasn't the thing that we were making movies

for, because these movies are not necessarily the ones that everyone says, "Oh, I

wanna watch this Friday night." But yet, everyone that watches our movies has always

said, "I am so glad I saw that film." And I wanna show that to this person or

that person. And that is just awesome. - There's a power to taking on some of these

difficult topics. And while it might not be what you choose on a Friday night, if

you're dinner in a movie,

I think movies impact us in so many ways, no matter what kind of movie it is and

impacts us. And to use this vehicle to impact people and to share stories and to

move people, I think is so powerful. And it's gotta be so rewarding for you also.

- Well, it is, it is, especially when somebody, we had so many people, especially

with "State of Grace." During our film festivals, or when we were showing in

theaters, we would have people come up and say, I am a recovering addict. Thank you

for representing me so well. I mean, that just feels lovely because then you know

you got it right and that's really what you want to do.

What you said about films impacting the way you look at life, you couldn't be more

correct on that. In fact, there's one of the film festivals had a saying that said

what you what you watch, you know, basically determines how you see the world,

and film is unlike stage,

unlike any other medium, in that you actually become a part of the story.

You emotionally enter into it if the film is done well, and you forget that you're

in a seat sitting next to complete strangers that you're not part of it and you

you you're there and that's and that's why it can be so powerful because when you

leave you have lived what your character has lived and that's a good thing.

I often say after watching like a powerful documentary or something is I can't go

into the world not knowing what I know now like

- My whole world is impacted. My perspective has changed. My knowledge has changed.

Like I know more than I did beforehand and now I can't unknow that. And my whole

outlook on the world is now based on knowing what I know. - That is excellent. I

never thought of it that way, but you are 100 % correct. - Yeah, yeah, so. - I

can't unknow it. - Yeah, I can't. - I will say though, that goes for the converse.

You know, if you see something that's truly despicable, it is really hard to not

remember that. So we try very hard. Yeah, you just to just to keep that sensibility

in mind, you know, not to. We're not trying to traumatize people,

but our films will have a dark side.

And interestingly enough one of the reviewers pointed out and I never really thought

about this but our films do not have any villains oh interesting we don't have any

bad guys um our our villains if you will uh our life circumstances or human frailty

bad decisions that you make or things that just come your way yeah well you know

what's interesting is I think about this is People used to always talk about how

the Disney movies always start with like some horrible thing. Like prison, their

parents die. - Yes, yes. - And Bambi, his mom died. Yeah, like there's always some

trauma or really difficult thing even in a beautifully happy Disney movie.

So I think that's what reels us in and that's what makes it powerful for us and

meaningful to us is because that's what happens in real life. And that's so true.

And that is, and that is referred to as the inciting incident. And that usually

comes, that comes in the first act. And basically, you have normal life. You know,

this is what Bami does. He runs around with Thumper and, you know, they, and then

all of a sudden, this happens, and the world has changed. And, and now the question

is, what in the world is he going to do with that? And you're right, that's how

we live life.

I like to say that the theory of inertia where we do not change our state unless

impacted by an unbalanced force is sort of like what happens in human behavior. We

do not change unless we are made to change. And that unbalanced force for us is

usually lived experience, something traumatic happens, and then you're changed.

- Yeah, yeah. But growth comes out of that.

- Absolutely. - Right?

- One would like to think so. There are people that will push it down and be in

denial, but that is not-- - Yeah, growth can - Yeah, I guess. - Thank you, there you

go.

- Yeah, well, what's next for you? Are you gonna keep doing this? This is a late

in life career. Are you at a point where you're done? You're getting done? You have

new projects coming, so I'm thinking the answer is no to this. - Yeah, you know, we

are in very good health.

As long as we are able to find investors And also we have,

so you're talking about women to help women, we have a, there's a 501 (c)(3) who's

basically their mission statement is to help women filmmakers. So our investors,

sometimes we have investors, sometimes we have people that want to get a charitable

contribution deduction. And they can do that by giving. - By giving to that.

they grant us, you know, we qualify for their grants because we are,

you know, predominantly stories about women and women's issues.

So that's really, that's really nice. - Yeah, I love that. Well,

I think everybody's gonna wanna find the films, find you, understand how they can

connect. Like this is a great, I think, for people that are out there in this

industry, if there's somebody that wanted to reach out and talk films with you,

would you be open to that? - Oh, in fact, I would love to invite any of my

sisters out there that are interested in film to contact me because something else

that Tridout does, besides just be there for, you know, the social and camaraderie

and that sort of thing is it's a network and it's a lovely network and it's a

network that never ends. So as long as, you know,

as long as you're still drying breath, there are sisters out there that are going

to love you unconditionally and that's beautiful. And so I would encourage, so I

don't know if you have all my contact information that you can add to this, but I

have a simple, simple email that is Mary, Mary Pruitt. So you think of Mary,

Mary, quite contrary, but I'm not. It's just that Mary Pruitt was already taken. So

Mary, Mary Pruitt at yahoo .com. Okay. All right. We'll have Lisa, we'll have her

put that in the notes for the episodes so people can find it. How do they find

your films? How do people watch your films? Amazon. Okay. So go to Amazon. And

unfortunately, State of Grace, there's more than one. We are not the one with Sean

Penn. So, you know, just so you know that. We have a young woman on the,

you know, Marquis on the poster. So go to Amazon, it's not prime,

it's the video direct. So you have to pay like 3 .99 or something. - Okay. - But we

will have, we have a whole bunch of movies there and I'll give those to you guys

um and when you like it rate it give us stars and then and then um tell other

people about it like do your social media thing because that's really how we get to

be known. I love it. Well I can't thank you enough for coming on today and sharing

your story and letting us talk about the films and the work that you're doing um

we're so proud to have you and our sister sisterhood and I just think you're such

a great example of you can do anything at any time in life, you decide you want

to do it. Well thank you very much for all the time that you've given on this and

I really appreciate it and look forward to connecting with some of my sisters. Well

I know they're going to be excited to connect with you and thanks all of you for

listening today. I hope you'll get in touch with Mary if you're interested and

definitely check out her films, lots to see there and I think some really powerful

stories that I can't wait to dig into and learn more about. Lots going on in

Tridelta, it's fall, recruitment is underway, there's so much going on in our

chapters. If you have ever thought about volunteering for Tridelta, I hope you will

give a moment and do that. You can go to volunteer @tridelta .io .org and email us

and let us know. Or you can go to the website and actually click the volunteer

button and sign up to be a volunteer. But we are only as good as those supporting

our collegiate chapters and our alumni chapters out there And so I encourage anyone

who's ever thought about being a volunteer and try Delta to give it a shot and let

us know Let us bring you in We hope you'll like subscribe and rate our podcast. We

have three stars in our crescent. We love those five -star ratings Thanks everybody

for joining us today until next time Delta love