In this episode, host Meredith Davies, Rhodes, sits down with writer, author and marketing professional Danyelle Addesso, Stockton, whose work bridges storytelling, creativity and resilience. Together, they explore what it means to heal, find your voice and return to your true self through Danyelle’s debut poetry memoir, “All the Things I Never Said.”
A lifelong lover of books and language, Danyelle shares how writing became both her refuge and her roadmap, helping her process difficult relationships, reclaim her sense of self and choose peace over confusion.
She shares the catalyst that prompted her to write her debut poetry memoir, “All the Things I Never Said,” while reflecting on the role of sisterhood, community and self-trust in her healing journey. She looks back on how Tri Delta helped shape the foundation of the woman she continues to become. Listeners will be gently reminded that choosing yourself isn’t selfish, that clarity takes courage and that even the hardest chapters can lead to something meaningful.
[Choosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish with Author Danyelle Addesso]
This transcript was created using automated technologies and may contain errors.
Welcome back to another episode of Let's Talk Tri Delta podcast. I'm Meredith Davies
from our Delta Delta side chapter at Rhodes College. I serve Tri Delta as brand
support manager partnerships and I am so excited to host today's episode. My guest
today is Danyelle Addesso from our Gamma Omega chapter at Stockton University. Danyelle
is a writer, author, and marketing professional who bridges storytelling, creativity,
and resilience. Her debut poetry memoir, All the Things I Never Said, was born from
personal journals and transforms private reflection into art that speaks to healing,
clarity, and self-discovery. Through her words, she reminds us that what feels broken
can be become something powerful she's a lifelong lover of books and language
believes deeply in the power of words to heal and her books her book is published
under her own imprint Addesso press so cool we're thrilled to talk about finding your
voice returning to your true self and building healthy relationships so please join
me in welcoming Danyelle, Danyelle how are you today? Hi, thank you so much for having
me. I'm great. How are you doing? I'm great. We're just so happy to have you today
and to learn more about your life and your writing. I'm so excited to get started.
So, let's start with Tri Delta. What drew you to Stockton? And then what drew you
to Tri Delta? Of course. Well, I rushed Tri Delta as a sophomore at Stockton
University. And I remember, you know, visiting all the different sororities on this.
And when I walked into the Tri Delta room, it was just like an immediate
connection. You know, the room was filled with women who were just so genuinely
kind. And you could really feel that from every conversation you had in the room.
And I remember looking around, you know, some of the sisters, especially some of the
older ones in thinking, like, I want to be them one day, you know. And so
conversations were so natural. And I just wanted to embody these values that these
women were, you know, embodying, feeling empowered and being kind and genuine and
just surround myself with women like that. So that's, it kind of, it just
immediately felt like home. I love that. I feel like I know so many amazing
childhoods from Stockton. I feel like everyone I meet is so grounded in our values
and so genuinely kind. I love them all. And how did you find Stockton, are you
from the New Jersey area? So, I grew up in Cape May,
New Jersey. So, Stockton's like 45 minutes from there. So, it had a big drawl. And I
studied hospitality. So being so close to Atlantic City, it was just a natural
choice for college. And Tri Delta was just a bonus that I didn't expect to find,
but it absolutely made my college experience. I love it. I'm from New Jersey too.
I'm from Princeton. So, okay. Princeton. So, okay.
Awesome. So, looking back on all of that now, how did Tri Delta help you in your
journey and your healing, even if you didn't realize it up to time? Yeah, looking
back, it absolutely did. You know, the heart of my book is really about finding
myself again after losing sight of who I was, you know, during a really difficult
chapter in my life, I forgot the version of myself who walked into that room at
Tri Delta and thought, you know, I want to be that girl. And through writing my
book, I remembered her. I remembered the foundation that Tri Delta ultimately taught
me, which is, you know, feeling empowered and being empowered to be who you are and
leaning on your friends for support and, you know, having kindness towards your own
self. So, through writing the book, I found her and I realized I had friends to
support me and sisters who loved me and who wanted me to become my best self
again. That's amazing. I feel like Tri Delta, we always say Tri Delta is always there
for you, but in those moments where you really need Tri Delta that you remember who
you are and how rooted in our values you are. And it works in mysterious. Yeah,
it's definitely something that you can carry with. And if you really, you know,
practice, you know, what it is, it's not just friendships. And that's super
important. But just the kind of woman that you are, that you want to be in your
own self -worth, you know. So, it's important to remember those things. Yes, I love
it. Perhaps it's our value of truth. Being true to who you are. There you go. I
love it. So, you say that writing's always been a part of your life. When did you
first realize that words were something you leaned on? So, I've always been a writer
at heart. You know, when I was little, I used to write short stories. I've
journaled throughout my life. But it was always a way of me to sort of like
process what I was doing. I've always loved poetry and, you know, just how universal
poetry can be. But so, I always knew I wanted to write a book. I just never
expected that this would necessarily be the story that I would first share. Deciding
to publish all the things I never said was not an easy decision. It really started
as just being something for me. But I realized that, you know, if my words and my
experience could help even one person who picked up my book, then it would be
totally worth putting it out there. And releasing, it sort of became a way of,
like, a physical way of me of stepping out of this darkness and being able to move
on and heal myself. Yeah, I love that. So, your book came from your journals.
Tell me about that aha moment of, okay, maybe this is, this is maybe something
other people might like to read. Yeah. So, my book was born from the pages of my
personal journal. And, you know, when you're in an unhealthy relationship,
which I was for a very long time. You don't necessarily realize your own reality,
and it's hard to admit certain things that are going on in your life. So, what was
important for me was starting to journal these experiences and in revisiting them to
really understand what I had gone through was when I decided that I felt like this
could be something for someone out there. A big part of me was finding resources
and finding other people who may have experienced something similar to me. And that
really helped me realize what was going on. So, I would hope that my book could be
that for someone, you know, even if it's not necessarily a romantic relationship. It
could be a friendship or your career or maybe an illness or any dark chapter in
your life and kind of, you know, having some clarity and being able to turn your
pain into peace.
And so, like, more than anything, your book is showing this journey from confusion
to clarity to healing. What tools help you move towards that clarity and the
healing? What advice would you give to our listeners? Yeah. So, what really helped me
was kind of coming up with a personal mantra that I still tell myself every day.
And that is good things are for you when you know better you do better and that
reminder helped me understand that I deserved more than settling for mistreatment just
because it was safe or familiar and along with that learning to protect my peace
and set boundaries and you know trust my own intuition or huge if if I could give
any advice to anyone if something feels like a red flag don't ignore it you know,
don't sacrifice your own happiness or your own peace or who you are for anyone. You
know, choosing yourself isn't selfish. It's self-respect.
Wow. Yeah, I feel like there are so many of our young women out there who have
personal mantras or are looking for one and are trying to figure out who they are
in their 20s, maybe even into their 30s and having someone in your life that's
making that difficult can can really stand in your way. So breaking free of that
is, is such a wonderful story that you're telling, helping our, helping everyone
find, find their peace. So how important was community in your healing process and
what advice would you give to someone who feels isolated or unsure of how to ask
for support? Yeah, community was everything for me. And one of my poems really
touches on this, and it's called Lighthouse. And it's basically about being lost in
the fog. And I like to describe, you know, my experience is, it's kind of being in
a fog where, you know, I wasn't necessarily admitting or accepting my reality at the
time. And through writing and writing these pieces, sort of,
you know, letting the fog dissipate. So, this poem, Lighthouse is essentially about,
you know, the fog drifting and my friends, my sisterhood, my family were standing
like lighthouses, you know, their light was always there and I couldn't see it
through the fog. So, it really reminded me, you know, while processing that, that
particular poem, that you're never truly alone. And like I said before, whether
you're struggling through, you know, a romantic relationship or a friendship or your
career or your health or whatever the difficult chapter might be you lean on your
healthy relationships lean on your friends lean on your sisters lean on anyone
because they're standing there for you they want you to be your best selves and and
you're you're not alone you know you can take on the world once you have these
healthy relationships even with yourself you know if you love yourself you can take
on the world what a beautiful message yes we're never really alone and we always
have ourselves. And that sometimes I think we forget about. I love that. Who do you
hope reads this book? Is it only for people coming out of something difficult,
difficult relationship? What's the overall message? Yeah. Well, my personal experience
was through an unhealthy, romantic relationship. But the heart of the book is really
about finding yourself and finding peace after pain. And I think, you know, it's
all, it's all poetry. And one of the beautiful things about poetry is how universal
it is. You know, my hope would be that anyone could read the book and open it and
find something that resonates with them. And whether, you know, it was my intention
for the poem, it was my personal experience, it could mean anything to anyone, no
matter what season they're in. And that's one of the really beautiful things about
all the things I never said.
I'm very excited to read this. I love a poetry. I want to talk a little bit about
your poetry in general. How did you find this love and passion for this form of
art? I feel like we go to school. We all learn how to write poems. And then we
all stop. And they're all, they were even beautiful when we were kids. And we all
just stopped writing poems. So, tell me how you became a poet. Yeah. Well,
I've always, like I said, I've always loved poetry. And, you know, all of the
famous poets, what you learn in school, you know, they teach you a very specific
message. And I think, like I said before, when you're reading something, it really
resonates with what you're going through at the time that you're going through it.
You know, what the author might have intended by it, you could take it in a
completely different way. And I just think that's really beautiful. Even today, you
know, I could be experiencing something or maybe, you know, a friend said a specific
phrase and it just inspires me and I'll write whatever my experience is as poetry.
And it's just a really helpful way to turn whatever you're experiencing into
something beautiful. And I just, I really love that idea of, of looking at the
world as something that is to be celebrated and so beautiful. because for a long
time, I, you know, wasn't allowed to look at the world or I wasn't able to look
at the world as anything but survival. So being able to just take off those rose
-colored glasses and look at the world through this new view of happiness has just
been everything to me. And something that I hope that anyone is able to, you know,
take from my story, you know, every day the little things are worth celebrating. You
know, you're allowed to find things that give you peace and find ways that make you
happy. And every day is a gift.
That's such a wonderful message. And it makes me so happy for you that you've
broken out of something that was unhealthy. I mean, you are just being really
helpful. It's so wonderful to talk to you today about this. This is making my heart
so happy. I saw more questions about poetry. I want to know a little bit more
about your writing process. What is it like to write a poem? Is it really organic
and that's it? Or are you going back refining? Tell me about your writing and
editing process. So for all the things I never said, it was a little bit different
than, you know, writing as I am now because I was revisiting these diary entries
that either were already in poetry form or were just a classic diary entry. And so
for those particular poems, it was understanding, you know, whatever the experience
was and the emotion that I felt behind it and then rewriting it and re-editing it
in a way that was organic to what I had written, but also really embodies the
emotion behind it. Because that's ultimately what I would want the reader to feel,
especially with all the different phases. phases, darkness, clarity, and healing is
how I broke up my book, all the things I never said. And my hope was to carry
the reader through, you know, the darkest points of my unhealthy relationship,
clarity, which is my favorite part, because that is where you can see and you can
feel that I started realizing these things that were very unhealthy in my life and
starting to lean on friends for support. And then ultimately into healing where I am
where I am today where I'm just, you know, very happy with my life. And, you know,
I still have, you know, my struggles like anyone does. I'm able to look at my life
with just happiness because I'm just so grateful to have gotten myself out of the
situation I was in. So through that, writing was was turning my pain into poetry.
And now when I'm writing, it's more of a rush of a feeling. You know, I'll write
it all down. And then I usually leave it pretty much as is. It's really just like
passion is how I write. And that's for me personally. But it's really fun. That's
awesome. I love writers. I always wish that I could have been better.
It's, you know, it's an art. If you don't have it, you don't have it. And clearly
you have it. I'm so happy for you. I want to talk about what's next for you.
What's on the horizon for you? What's the next chapter? Yeah. Well, I just relocated
to St. Augustine, Florida, to be closer with my family. So it's been really fun
getting to know the area. Getting used to the heat is an experience to say it's
the least. But it's been really fun building a community. My book is now featured
in a couple of independent bookstores in town, which has been really fun. And I'm
currently writing my next book. That's going to be a new genre. So I'm working on
a romantic fantasy right now. And that has been so fun to play with these new
characters. I'm obsessed with them. I feel like that is so the moment right now.
Everyone loves a romantic fantasy book. Yes. I will read it. You probably would.
We're always looking for fun romance books to read. Yeah, well,
anyone listening can follow me online and follow along. I've been getting involved in
like the Bookstagram community and that has been like so much fun book
recommendations and behind the scenes of author life. So definitely follow along on
the journey as I write the next chapter. Yes, we will. And Where can we find all
the things I never said? Right now, it is available on Amazon, Kindle Unlimited,
Barnes & Noble, and then if you select independent bookstores in Florida, but Amazon
and Barnes and Noble for sure. Awesome. This is so wonderful. What a wonderful way
to turn pain and a bad relationship into something for you,
something that serves you, and is serving a community, serving women all over the
world, helping them find their clarity, their peace, their healing. I'm just so
thrilled that we were able to speak today. And I can't wait to see what's next for
you and to start reading all your work. Thank you so much for having me. And like
I said, my goal would be that anyone finds, you know, something to take away from
the book. That's all the ultimate goal. I love it. Thank you so much,
Danyelle. We're so happy to have had Danielle today on the podcast. Be on the
lookout for her book. You can find it. Please find it and read it and buy it.
More information from Tri Delta for you today is that Tri Deltas Convention is this
summer, June 26 through 29th. We are heading to Denver, Colorado for Connection,
Celebration and Sisterhood. Registration is now open. So I've had to TriDelta.org.
You can find more details on our homepage. Please, as always, like, subscribe, and
rate our podcast, five stars, please. Thank you for joining us. And until next time,
Delta Love.